He couldn’t have spoken sweeter words to her. She sensed the pain and grief he still held deep inside, as well as something else, too: fear.
“Is that why you’re here with me now, Kieran? Because you’re afraid the same thing might happen to Matt that happened to you?”
He was quiet for so long she didn’t think he’d answer. “When I saw you on the floor, pale and sick...” Kieran let the sentence hang, unwilling to give voice to the memories that haunted him. His arms tightened around her. “I won’t let anything bad happen to you, Faith.” His words, as softly spoken as they were, held all the weight of a steel promise.
Was he thinking of Matt? Or of himself? Maybe, she thought, if she was truly blessed, a little of both.
She tried again to turn in his arms. This time he allowed it. She cupped his face with her hands. She heard him draw in a breath, waiting for her to say it. I love you, Kieran. The words were there, on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn’t speak them. She knew if she did, it would make him happy.
If she did, he would make love to her and ease that horrible ache that was beginning to extend far beyond the physical. If he took her now, he would want to claim not just her body, but also her heart and soul.
But no matter how much she might want to give them to him, she just couldn’t. Not yet.
Several moments ticked by in awkward silence before his barely audible sigh. “Go to sleep, Faith,” he commanded softly, kissing her forehead before he tucked her beneath his chin.
“Pleasant dreams, Kieran.”
She felt, rather than saw him smile. “Pleasant dreams, Faith.”
Chapter Fifteen
Matt arrived home the next day, and things returned to normal. Well, almost. Kieran was a greater presence in their lives, spending as much free time with them as Faith would allow. Faith didn’t resist him quite as much when he tried to do things for them, although she was still quite adamant about paying for things herself. That irritated Kieran to no end, but she was immovable on that point. He was hesitant to do anything that might negate some of the progress they’d made, especially since she was including Kieran in just about everything they did, from nightly dinners to weekend chore runs. It was all very comfortable and domestic.
Like they were a real family.
“Are you and my mom, uh, ...?” Matt finally blurted out one night. Kieran looked across the table to find the normally friendly face looking pinched and uneasy. Faith had run a quick errand, leaving the two of them in the house alone.
Matt squirmed uncomfortably under Kieran’s steady gaze, but to his credit, didn’t look away. Normally Kieran wouldn’t even think of discussing his and Faith’s physical relationship (or lack thereof) with Matt, but he understood the kid’s need to know where things stood. More importantly, Kieran wanted him to know what his intentions were, because they would affect Matt greatly.
“No,” Kieran said finally. Truthfully. “But I am very much in love with her.”
The relief in Matt’s features was obvious, though his eyes did widen at Kieran’s open confession. Then a frown creased his youthful brow. “Does she know?”
Kieran’s lips thinned a little. “I’ve made my feelings clear to her, yes.”
“And?”
“And what?” Kieran grumbled almost irritably, sitting back and running his hand through his hair. The truth was, he was trying to figure that out himself. Several weeks had passed since his confession, and while Faith was no longer actively pushing him away, they hadn’t made significant progress forward, either.
She had yet to say the words he longed to hear, even though he knew she loved him. It was hidden in her softly spoken words, in her eyes when she looked at him, and in the quiet way she included him in their daily lives.
He wouldn’t trade any of that. But he wanted more. Each day his physical need to join with her grew. Over the past several years, he’d watched his brothers go through similar periods. He understood that it was all part of the natural progression of things. Although, he thought wryly, they all seemed to have better success of getting their croies into their beds.
Maybe that was what they needed to get past this plateau. Maybe once she felt the magic he knew they would create together it would chase the last of doubts from her mind. He’d been extremely patient. Maybe too patient. Perhaps she needed a little nudge. A little romance...wine, dinner, flowers, a private room at the Goddess...