“I don’t know,” I admitted before looking back towards Victor, and with one look, I demanded that someone had better be able to give me answers.
“I saved you,” she whispered, and I tore my gaze away from Victor and stared at her. She reached up and touched my cheek. “I saved you,” she repeated before closing her eyes and dropping her head to my chest. I tucked my gun into my back pocket, alongside the other one that was there and tipped my chin to Vic. In one swift move, I gathered Adrianna into my arms and started to follow Vic out of the club. He led us to one of the exits, kicked the door, and held it open as I carried her out of Temptations.
“There’s a car out back, keys on the right front tire. You know what to do right?” He asked me.
“Yeah, I’ve got it,” I said, giving him one last look before getting the hell away from there. I found the car he was talking about, set Adrianna down on her feet, grabbed the keys, and unlocked the door. I gently placed her into the passenger seat of the car and knelt next to her, pulling the seatbelt over her hips.
I secured the buckle and went to pull my hand back when she placed her hand over mine. I lifted her chin with the index finger of my other hand and stared into her scared eyes.
“It’s going to be okay. I promise,” I whispered, hoping that she heard me, that she understood what I was saying. Adrianna thought she saved my life tonight but the truth was she had been saving my life since the moment I met her. I’d make this up to her somehow, some way I would heal her.
I pressed my lips gently to hers before pulling back and rising to my feet. I closed the door and walked around the car, climbing into the driver’s seat as I turned the key in the ignition. I peeled out of the parking lot leaving behind the massacre of Temptations and the blare of the sirens that sounded.
Chapter Twenty-Eight: 2015
By the time, we arrived at our destination, a bungalow on Long Island Sound it was nearly dawn. Victor owned and rented it in the summer months. It used to be a vacation home he and Grace would take the girls to during the summer. As the mobster became more prominent and his bank account grew fatter the need for small family getaways diminished. Those getaways were replaced with lavish trips that included five star hotel accommodations.
Most of the homes in the area were boarded up for the winter, leaving the strip of small homes that surrounded us vacant. I pulled into the driveway, shutting off the car and turning to face Adrianna. She was asleep in the passenger seat clutching my jacket she had been using as a blanket. I reached out and ran the back of my hand across her cheek. She had cried herself to sleep, nothing I said or did helped, and to be honest I wasn’t sure there was anything I could do to help her. Adrianna wasn’t immune to emotions like I was, she couldn’t turn them on and off. So, the moment she pulled that trigger was the moment her life changed forever. For each time I pulled the trigger of a gun I lost a piece of myself, for every life I had taken I fell deeper into the pit of angst. The only thing that eased my conscience half the time was that these people I hurt, they were bad people. Nevertheless, it still fucked with me to know what exactly I was capable of. I loathed myself and never understood how someone like me could ever have the love of someone like her. I sure as hell didn’t deserve it like I didn’t deserve her pulling that trigger tonight to save my sorry ass.
Aside from worrying about her and how she would cope with the guilt that would eat away at her, I couldn’t help but wonder if she’d resent me for it. Would she look at me and hate that because of me she killed? Would she be so tormented by her conscience she would stop loving me? I was a selfish bastard to entertain these thoughts but I couldn’t help it. Not many things in this world scared me but losing Adrianna’s love was one of them. I wasn’t afraid of dying, I wasn’t afraid of being shot, couldn’t care less because my life wasn’t worth living without her in it. I had been pushing her away and telling her we couldn’t be together for years. I wanted her to move on and find another man to love but I never really could let go of her. I kept reeling her in any chance I got and then I’d let the line loose again, giving her leeway until I caught her again.
In her presence, my heart has no shame; it’s chained to her unable to break free. She doesn’t even realize the power she has over me, how she is the only one in this world who can bring me to my knees. I’d never be strong enough to let her go. It’s wrong, it’s selfish, but it’s the truth.
I walked around the car and opened her door, my hand gently squeezing her knee as I brushed away the hair that had fallen from her ponytail and scattered around her eyes away from her face.
“Reese’s,” I whispered, silently vowing to myself to get her through this. Even if in the end it meant she hated me.