“He’ll find us A” I cut her off. What was the point of leaving only to be dragged back when her old man caught up with us?
“I don’t care, let him find us,” she said choking back her sobs. “God, when are you going to stop living for him and live for yourself?” She cried out in frustration. “Goddamn it Anthony, can’t I be enough?”
Her words sliced through my heart, the thought of her believing that she wasn’t enough demolished me. She was more than enough; she was everything. I wanted to reassure her that her love made a broken degenerate like me whole for a long time. The truth was a leopard doesn’t change its spots. No matter how good Adrianna made me feel, I was still just a street guy with no future.
I didn’t get God’s plan for me, didn’t understand the path he was taking me on or the purpose of it. Why grant someone everything they wanted and needed in this world only to have it ripped away from them? I probably shouldn’t question him, I was a man, who in just a short time, made a lot of mistakes and still he gave me her. Although, I must’ve done something right, somewhere along the way to have this beautiful girl’s love. For the life of me I didn’t know what that something was. I did horrible, ugly things to people and never cared to know whether they deserved the pain they suffered at my hands. I guess walking away from her was my penance.
Adrianna thinks I’m choosing the mob over her but I’m not. The choice has been robbed from me, her father has dictated my orders and there isn’t a fucking thing I can do to argue. I wonder if he’s just shipping me to the pen to keep me away from her. Surely a man like him wants better than me for his daughter. If I’m out of the picture, she can have a shot at meeting a straight and narrow guy. You know the type of guy that hates his job and is home every night at six o’clock for dinner.
“Do you remember our first date?” She asked, pulling me away from my thoughts. She seemed calmer, not sobbing so much, I hated to see her cry so I went along with it.
“The real one or the one you conned me into?” I asked hoarsely.
“The one I conned you into was still a real one,” she said, sadly brushing away her tears as she pulled herself together to find it in her to deliver her point. “My father knew you wanted to work for him and he played you. He led you to believe he was finally giving you a real piece of the pie when all he wanted you to do was drive me and Mikey to the movies.”
“I remember,” I whispered.
“Do you remember what I told you right before the movie started?” She asked, but for the life of me I couldn’t remember. “I told you I didn’t make decisions based on my father and that you shouldn’t either.” She dropped her hands from my face, interlocking our fingers as she stared up at me with pleading eyes. “You didn’t listen then but I’m asking you to listen now. Please don’t let him do this to you, to us.”
I stared at her for a beat before leaning in to touch my lips to her forehead, giving her hands a slight squeeze before releasing them. I lifted my hands to cradle her face, my thumb gently gliding along her bottom lip as I held her gaze. I stared at her face trying to memorize everything about her, which was a waste of time, because I’d never forget her. Never. All my days, whatever time I had on this earth, I’d always think of her; and when my time was up, I was even more certain I’d die remembering her face.
“I love you, Reese’s. I love you so fucking much,” I said roughly before closing my mouth over hers. Like so many times before, we did this dance, she wrapped one arm around my neck and clutched my shirt with her other hand. She pulled my body against hers eliminating any space between us, holding onto me for dear life. Her mouth was made to fit mine, just like the rest of her was made for me, every single inch. I kissed her with such a ferocious need, I felt it down to my core, my tongue desperate for her taste, tangled with hers. I continued to work her lips, kissing her like my life depended on it, feeling her grip tighten on my shirt as she sighed into my mouth. Stay with me, I silently pleaded with her hoping that if she remembered anything once I was gone, it was this kiss she remembered and the way she felt that moment.
I didn’t expect one kiss to get her through the next three years nor did I expect her to sit around and wait for me, but when she thought back on our love I wanted her to smile not cry.
I wanted her to think of me and know that I loved her hard, that I loved her with everything in me and when she doubted our relationship, I wanted her to look back and remember this moment.
I slowly pulled away from her, brushing away the single tear that fell from her eyes and slid down her cheek.
“I wanted to be enough,” she whispered. “I didn’t want to tell you and have you think the only reason I was telling you was to change your mind.”