“See?” I say, looking at Gabe, jubilant. “I told you, if I do it at the doctor’s office, it’s foolproof.”
“I wouldn’t say foolproof,” she interjects. “Nothing ever is foolproof when it comes to the ever-shifting body of reproductive law…but the way we handle it is as close to ironclad as you can get. And we’ve done it that way for many women.”
I glance at Gabe, who crosses his arms in not-so-subtle protest.
“Of course there are emotional issues that can’t be provided for in a contract. And it sounds as if that might be your concern?” she continues, now looking at Gabe.
“Yes. As a matter of fact, it is my concern,” he says, nodding. “What if this guy she barely knows turns out to be crazy? And he won’t leave her or her kid alone? What then?”
“Well, that could happen with any guy,” I say, turning to him. “And I’d handle it the same way I would if I were dating the guy and he turned crazy. With a restraining order.”
“You’d be okay getting a restraining order against the father of your kid?” Gabe’s voice is slightly raised and agitated.
“He wouldn’t be the father,” I say.
“Right. He’d just be the creepy sperm donor you got a restraining order against,” Gabe says with a shrug. “No biggie.”
Before I can reply, Dr. Lazarus clears her throat and tentatively interrupts our sidebar. “Might I make a suggestion?”
“You may,” I say, feeling fairly confident that she will be on my side.
“Let’s focus on you, Josie,” she says, pointing at me. “Because we know that part of the equation. We know you want to use one of your eggs and carry your child, correct?”
“Yes,” I say, nodding emphatically. “We do know that.”
“So. Let’s focus on your preconception care and check for any potential risks to you during your pregnancy.”
I tell Dr. Lazarus that I think that’s a fabulous idea.
She continues earnestly. “No matter which donor sperm you decide to use, we want you to be your healthiest self, both physically and emotionally.”
I nod, feeling another burst of excitement, as Gabe manages to look slightly less glum. We both watch and listen as Dr. Lazarus puts on her reading glasses, glances through my forms, and begins to ask detailed follow-up questions about my health history. She then asks me if it’s okay if Gabe stays while we discuss my reproductive history. I tell her yes, he can hear anything. “We’re best friends.”
She smiles, nods, then asks if I’ve ever been pregnant before.
“A few scares,” I say with a laugh. “But no.”
“So no miscarriages?”
I shake my head. “I don’t think so. I mean…occasionally I’m a little late and have a really heavy period…and sometimes I wonder if that could be a miscarriage….But no, I don’t think so.”
I glance at Gabe, who grimaces, then crosses his arms, as Dr. Lazarus continues to ask questions about my cycle, menstrual history, vaccinations, and contraceptive use. I tell her I have a very regular twenty-eight-day cycle, that I’m all up-to-date on my vaccinations, that historically I’ve been on the pill and use condoms, though I went off the pill a few weeks ago, and have not been sexually active in several months.
“Any abnormal Pap smears?”
“Umm…just one,” I say. “It turned out to be nothing, though. Just a yeast infection.”
“All righty, then,” Gabe says under his breath. “Can I please wait out there?”
“No,” I hiss, glaring at him. “You can’t.”
Gabe sighs and stares at the ceiling as Dr. Lazarus segues into a conversation about nutrition and exercise, alcohol and nicotine. I tell her I don’t smoke, but I do drink socially.
She nods. “Okay. A glass of wine here and there is fine before conception, but try to limit it to that.”
“What about coffee?” I ask.
“I recommend limiting your caffeine to three hundred milligrams per day….So about two eight-ounce cups.”
I get out my pad and start to take a few notes, but she reassures me that all the advice will be on my printed materials. “I’ll also give you a prescription for a prenatal vitamin, as you will need plenty of folic acid. Additionally, you should make sure you’re eating a variety of foods rich in fiber, calcium, and other nutrients. Avoid sugar and processed foods….You just want to be as healthy as you possibly can to get your body ready for pregnancy.”
“Okay,” I say, feeling determined. “Gabe’s a great cook. And we live together.”
“Well, that’s a big help,” she says, smiling at him, then me.
I smile back at her. “So is that it?”
“Almost,” she says. “I’d like to do a quick physical exam and then we’re going to take some labs.”
Gabe looks horrified.
“You may skip the exam,” Dr. Lazarus tells him with a smile. She stands, walks around the desk, and shakes his hand. “It was very nice to meet you, Gabe. Josie’s lucky to have you in her life.”
The comment seems to catch him off guard, but he mumbles a polite thank you.