“She’s not gone!” I shouted as the panic began to set in.
“Yeah, she is, son. You need to let go of whatever you two had before and make something new. I’m not saying you have to marry Eliza, but I think you need to figure out what you want before you find yourself sitting in a church, watching her marry someone else.” Slate walked forward, swinging his keys around his finger. “And you better figure it out fast, because women like her don’t stay single long.”
I didn’t have a response as he backed away. The fact that someone hadn’t already swooped Eliza off her feet was a miracle in and of itself. But she’d always made it clear that she loved me. It was stupid and na?ve, but I hadn’t worried that she would end up with anyone else. The scenario of watching her get married seemed so farfetched that I couldn’t even conjure the image.
So, instead of focusing on Eliza’s imaginary wedding, I closed my eyes and pictured my life with someone else.
I WAS ECSTATIC WHEN I heard the unexpected knock on my apartment door. But when I opened it, I felt a deep sense of disappointment when I found Derrick standing on my welcome mat. He’d brought Chinese food to apologize for having to dash after our date the night before. Little did he know, but that had been my favorite part of the entire date. My manners won out and I invited him in.
We’d hung out and talked for a couple hours. It had been a fine evening. Not great. Just fine. When I made the excuse that I was getting tired, he took the hint. I offered him a chaste hug at the door, but he had other ideas. His lips softly brushed mine, and instead of feeling the spark of excitement that should precede a first kiss, I cringed. He didn’t seem to notice, so with promises of a date the next night, I hurried him out.
Derrick was a nice enough guy. He was charming and all that crap, but there was no chance in hell we would ever turn into more. He was no Till. I was afraid no one ever would be though.
I was lying on my couch, fighting my hands as eyes flowed from the charcoal, when yet another unexpected knock at the door startled me.
“Um . . . who is it?”
“It’s me.” Till’s voice shook on two simple syllables.
I snatched the door open, praying that it would be the moment I’d been waiting for, but his feet never even shuffled forward.
“I’m ready to let us go,” he announced abruptly.
Never in my life had I felt a pain so deeply.
My heart seized.
My bones ached.
My soul withered.
“What?” I squeaked.
“We’re not the same anymore. I get it. It’s my fault. I’ll own it.” His eyes were as hollow as my chest felt. “Eliza, I can’t do this anymore.”
Eliza. Oh, God.
Every nightmare I’d ever had was playing out in front of me.
“Stop.” I choked out around the lump in my throat.
“I’m sorry.”
“Is this because of Derrick? Nothing happened, Till,” I rushed out.
“No. It’s not that. I should have done this a long time ago.”
“Why are you doing this?” I cried, barely holding myself together.
Then it happened.
The most unlikely one-sided smile grew on his mouth, breathing new life into his empty expression.
“Because I’m ready for a new reality . . . with you.”
With one sentence and two steps, forever began. Till Page walked through my door for the very first time.
My mouth gaped open as I blinked rapidly, expecting the visual in front of me to vanish. I should have been elated, but I was so fucking confused.
“I don’t know how to react right now. Are you coming or going?”
“Both.” He folded me into his chest.
I went willingly, needing the comfort and strength I knew his arms could provide.
“I’ve been fighting for years to keep us inside the safety of my comfort zone, but during that time, everything changed. You changed, the world changed, our situations changed, our desires changed. But I wasn’t willing to change with them. I’m sorry. I’m an idiot.”
“You really are.” I sucked in a shaky breath.
“So I’m giving up on that part of us. I quit. I want to start over with a new relationship, preferably one where I get to touch you. Naked. A lot.”
I laughed through the tears.
“I love you, Eliza Reynolds, and if I had my way, I’d lock you up in a room and keep you all for myself. But if you insist on doing that whole ‘living a real life’ thing, I want to go with you.”
“Kidnapping and imprisonment. So romantic.” I sniffled, and it was Till’s turn to laugh. I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with the promises that infused his words. Then I leaned away and looked into his eyes. “Are you really serious about this?”
“Absolutely.”
“Are you freaking out about this?”
“Absolutely,” he exhaled, causing us both to laugh.
“What if I said I don’t want you anymore?”
His smile fell and his eyes narrowed causing my eyes to narrow in return. A classic stare-off ensued.