“I’m not trying to punish you.” She stopped and tilted her head from side to side. “Well, maybe not completely.” She smiled, and it hurt so damn much.
That smile was an oasis for me. I knew it would vanish, but it would tease and taunt me while it lasted.
“Right.” I took a deep breath. “I don’t have the right to ask this, but I’m doing it anyway. Please don’t go on a second date with him. Doodle, that guy is no good. This is not coming from a jealous place. I just don’t want to see someone as amazing as you getting mixed up with a scumbag like that.”
She gave me a knowing look. “Not a jealous place?”
“Well, maybe not completely.” I chuckled, and tears sprung to her eyes. “Come here.”
She didn’t move, so I closed the distance between us and folded her into my arms.
“I’m so sorry I fucked this up. Just tell me how to fix it.”
She sniffled and backed away. “Open your eyes, Till. I’m sick of letting the Earth spin under my feet while you circle around me. We belong together, but if that isn’t going to happen, I have to start moving on.” She paused to wipe away the tears that were steadily dripping off her chin. “I don’t want to live in a world where the windows are locked and the Page boys don’t eat me out of house and home. So I am begging you, Till. Wake. Up.”
I didn’t have a chance to find the words to reply before she walked away.
I made my way back to my apartment and crashed into bed. I was exhausted, but I never found sleep that night. I also couldn’t figure out how to wake up either.
“Whoa! Take it easy. I just bought that bag.” Slate laughed as I pounded my aggression out. “I’m closing up in five. Go get changed and get out of here.”
I stopped and shook out my arms. “You mind if I stay for a little while longer? I’ll lock up when I leave.”
“What’s going on with you? You spent the better part of the night terrorizing my equipment, then you left with the boys, and less than an hour later, you’re back alone. Don’t get me wrong. I like the dedication. But there has to be more to this.”
I let out a huff and stared down at the ground. “Derrick’s car was parked at my apartment when I got home. I just can’t go back there right now.”
“What’s he doing at your place?”
“He’s not. He’s at Eliza’s.”
Slate’s eyebrows shot up as understanding crossed his face. “Did you two break up?”
“Who? Me and Eliza? We were never together.”
Slate barked out a laugh. “Sorry, buddy, but I think you were the only one who believed that.”
“No. Seriously. We’re just friends.”
“Well, of all the times I’ve seen you two together, she wasn’t just anything to you.”
“Whatever.” I blew him off, but only because I knew he was right.
“So, what’s your hang-up with Derrick being there, then?”
Now that I could answer. “I fucking hate that guy. I don’t want him anywhere near her.”
“Yeah, I heard you two went at it a few weeks ago.”
My head snapped to his.
Before then, he hadn’t mentioned a single word to me or Flint about that night at the gym. Slate had a strict “no fighting outside of the ring” policy, so I’d figured we would have for sure heard about it if he’d caught wind.
“Yeah. About that—” I started, but I was quickly interrupted.
“So, you’d be okay if it were any other guy at her place?”
“You got eyes for my girl, Slate?” I smarted back, and he laughed. “Nah. But it’s definitely worse because it’s him.”
“I get that.” He squeezed my shoulder. “Okay, stay as long as you want. Take it easy on my bag though.” He shot me a smile as he turned to walk away.
“She wants more,” I blurted. I needed someone to talk to, and the speed bag just wasn’t cutting it.
He turned back to face me, crossing his arms over his chest and signaling for me to explain.
“What if we took it to that next level and it didn’t work out? I’d lose her for good. But I can’t get her to understand, so I’m afraid it’s gonna happen anyway.” I tucked a glove under my arm and tugged it off.
“You want advice or you just want me to listen?”
“Advice. Please. Anything.”
“You’re going to lose her no matter what you do.”
“Wow. You are terrible at this,” I snarked.
“Till, she’s not the girl you hung out with in high school anymore. One of two things is gonna to happen. Either you take the next step and make her your woman or you sit back and watch someone else do it. It’s gonna happen regardless of how much you try to fight it though. If it’s not Derrick, it will be someone else.”
“No. She’s dated in the past, but she’s never gotten serious with anyone.”
“She’s not a kid anymore though. She’s twenty-one years old and starting to make plans for the future. People don’t stay the same forever, especially women. But you have to face the facts that you can’t lose that girl you’re so desperate to hang on to . . . She’s already gone.”