Mattheus eyes glazed over for a moment. “You’re going back again tomorrow? Why?”
“Why not? Shelly worked there for three years. The people there knew her well. They have all kinds of ideas about who may have killed her. Frankly, I can’t understand how the police didn’t spend hours there talking to the residents. They belong there right now.”
Mattheus’s jaw clenched. “The cops can’t be everywhere. They have to focus on the leads they think will pay, the ones that are hot.”
“I guess it’s not hot to be in a Shelter for abused women,” Cindy took offense.
“Listen, I didn’t mean it that way,” Mattheus said.
“I want you to come back with me tomorrow,” Cindy repeated, rankled.
“I’m going to Rancher’s Bar tomorrow,” Mattheus said. “I want to talk to Tommy, the bartender there. He’s Anthony’s friend. Anthony asked me to go, and I promised.”
“Anthony, the main suspect?” Cindy was puzzled. Mattheus hadn’t said a word about his interview with him until now.
“Yeah, I liked the guy,” said Mattheus, flatly. “Don’t think he did it.”
“That’s huge,” Cindy was amazed. “What happened to make you feel that way?”
“That guy loved Shelly, like I did –“, his voice caught. For a second it was hard to go on. “My gut tells me he didn’t do it.”
Cindy was relieved Mattheus was actually speaking his truth. “You loved Shelly a lot?”
“Yes, I did,” said Mattheus, looking over her shoulder at the darkening sky.
His words went through Cindy, he’d never actually said it in that way before.
“I loved her more than a lot,” Mattheus added, drumming his fingers on the table.
“I’m sorry, Mattheus.”
“Actually, I didn’t know how much I loved her until she was gone,” he added abruptly.
“No one ever does, do they?” said Cindy.
“Guess not,” he said. “But I never had any inkling Shelly didn’t feel the same way. Not for one second.”
Cindy believed him. So many people thought they knew their partners completely and didn’t have the least clue. It was incredibly painful when they started to find out.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come to the Shelter with me, tomorrow?” Cindy asked again. It would be good for Mattheus to confront the reality of who Shelly was, where she worked, the people she knew.
“Of course I’m sure. Why would I want to come?” he snapped. “What do I care about the life Shelly lived apart from me?”
Cindy was startled by his vehemence. All of this was still too close to home.Mattheus wasn’t ready to learn more about who his wife really was. These things took time, lots of time - lifetimes, maybe. But ready or not, he’d have to face it as the investigation proceeded. Cindy wondered what it would do to him.
The waiter came with the drinks and Cindy and Mattheus picked up their glasses, clinked them together briefly, and drank.
“Great drink,” said Mattheus.
Cindy agreed.
“Can I order dinner for you?” asked Mattheus.
“I’ll order my own,” said Cindy quickly.
Mattheus looked surprised. Usually Cindy enjoyed him ordering for her. “Whatever you like,” he said.
The waiter came back and he ordered his dinner and she ordered hers. Then turned to her, clearer and more focused.
“I just want to thank you for being down here with me,” Mattheus started, “it means the world to me.”
Cindy didn’t know exactly what brought that on, but he spoke in such a heartfelt manner that tears sprang to her eyes.
“It means a lot to me, too,” said Cindy.
Mattheus reached out and put his hands over hers then.
A glow of warmth and desire flushed through her body. This was an emotional time and she knew she should pull her hands away. But at that moment, she could not. She needed the strength and comfort Mattheus’s touch brought her.
Mattheus closed his eyes a second, happy not to be pushed away.
“I acted like a jerk in Grenada,” he said then.
Cindy was totally taken off guard.
“Any woman worth her salt would have just packed up and left,” he continued, from nowhere, pulling at Cindy’s heart.
Cindy wanted to say it was fine, to soothe him again, but fought against the impulse and stayed silent.
“But you left too quickly,” Mattheus continued, “it knocked me off my game.”
“It was too much too soon for both of us,” Cindy replied.
“I don’t know about that,” said Mattheus, “we were doing great, we were happy. I just wanted to go out on that next case and solve it. That’s not so terrible, is it?”
“There are always cases,” said Cindy.
“That one was important,” Mattheus argued.
“They’re all important. We were also important. A relationship needs time and attention to grow,” said Cindy.
“So, you’ll never forgive me? Ever?”
“You couldn’t take the intimacy, Mattheus” said Cindy. “You basically wanted action and space. You wanted me to be your business partner, with benefits on the side.”