Damaged and the Outlaw (Damaged #4)

“Yeah. No aftereffects from being abducted by a sexy nutjob.”


“I don’t have a lot in my life that I can’t stand to lose. I thought I was losing you and freaked out. Some chicks might find that romantic.”

Giving him a little grin, I sighed. “I might not be strong enough for this, Vaughn.”

“You’re the strongest chick I’ve ever met,” he said, caressing my bruised knuckles. “You love me too.”

I heard the question, even though he stated it as a fact.

“I do love you. It’s not sex. It hasn’t been sex for a while, but I never thought we could have anything else. Even knowing that, I would think of us together in the future. I would imagine what our kids might look like. When something happened, even small stuff, you were the first person I wanted to tell. Not Lark, but you. That scared me so much because I always felt like we were on borrowed time. This last week, I kept seeing you dead. My mind showed it to me again and again. It killed me a little more each time. Now, I’m scared to lose you for real.”

“You were never going to be with anyone else, were you? I mean, I never even considered another chick after you said we were over. I need to know you never thought about another guy. It’s immature maybe, but I need to know.”

“If I lose you, there’s no one else. Ever. Those guys before were losers and I was a loser to hold onto them. You’re more amazing than I ever imagined a guy could be. I’ve always been willing to settle. Yet with you, it’s not settling. It’s like a dream. I know that sounds lame, but I wake up wondering what you’ll say and do. What you think about things? I want to see the world from your eyes. No guy has ever been like that for me. No guy could ever be like that for me again. It’s you or nothing.”

“Thanks,” he said, kissing my head. “It’s important for me to know I’ve ruined you for all other men.”

Leaning against him, I laughed. “You’re such a child. It makes me good about my immaturity.”

“We’re emotionally stunted, but together we equal a normal adult.”

“True.”

‘You know, I haven’t been able to pick just the right nickname for you, tulip pumpkin sugar darling. I can now. You’re hope. You give me hope.”

Eyes burning, I wiped angrily at them. “I’ve turned into such a sissy lately.”

“Love will do that.”

I smiled. “Yeah, it will.” Setting aside my coffee, I stood up. “Can we take a walk? It’s nice out here.”

Vaughn looked like a little kid offered a chance to show off his favorite toy. After pulling on our shoes, he offered his arm and we followed a natural path. Both in our heads, we remained silent for a while then I asked why he built a place out in the woods.

“The only family I had besides my mom was my granddad who lived in the mountains of West Virginia. He used to be a plumber until my grandma died and he sort of cracked up. He wanted away from the world, so he used his saving to buy up some land and build a house.”

Vaughn paused to change directions when the clearing ended and we reached thick brush.

“During the summers, my mom didn’t want me alone in our shitty apartment and getting into trouble. I got sent off to Granddad’s place and it always sucked the first few days. No TV, no videogames, no candy. Like death to a kid. I’d get up early and work all day around his property. We had to hunt for our food and take care of the chickens and cut wood. It was exhausting. I’d crash by eight a lot of nights. It was a hard life, but there was a beauty to it. He and I would sit quietly for hours. Sometimes, we’d talk, but he wasn’t a chatty guy. He was as hardcore as anyone I ever knew.”

Arriving at a clearing, Vaughn reached down and tore a flower from a bush. He pushed my hair back behind my ear then added the flower.

“I was thinking about him one night and I got it in my head that I needed a place where I could hide from the shit in town. I never bought into how I was a real Reaper. I was always on the outside. It was the same in the Devils. My mom married Ted and his brother was the president. I was just the guy who they gave the dirty work to. I never felt like I belonged. I got the wolf tattoos because I wanted to be a lone wolf, but it’s bullshit. Wolves belong to a pack and I want to belong too. With you, I do.”

Bending down to get a flower for his hair, I smiled. “Do you believe in God?”

“Sure. Mom didn’t believe in church. Said it was full of stuck up assholes. I think that’s because some jackass told her she was a whore to have a kid out of wedlock. She still believed though.”

“Do you think He cares about us?”