Damaged and the Outlaw (Damaged #4)

After getting into the jeep, Tawny pulled her gun and waved it at the guys still looking at us. They got the hint and walked away.

“I can’t stand the dirty fuckers checking me out. I’m not a damn piece of meat.”

“Are you okay?” I asked, pulling out of the parking lot.

“Yes. No. Who knows? Therapy makes me crazy and I hate talking about shit and want to quit. I might take a break from it until we’re moved into the new place.”

“What’s the point of therapy if it makes you feel worse?”

Tawny shrugged. “To face your crap and deal with it. I’m just stressed by the move. Judd doesn’t like change either. He’s tense about the move and Vaughn. When he’s tense, I feel worse. He’s my rock. The person who makes me feel like my crazy is sane.”

After a few deep breaths, Tawny calmed herself. “It’ll be fine, but I need things to be settled. Everything feels too big now. Every comment about when we’ll have a kid feels like someone is nagging and judging. I just want to live with Judd and have my sister close. I want to feel safe in Ellsberg and I don’t right now.”

“Because of the move or the shit with Vaughn?”

“Both. The whole club is tense.”

Saying nothing, I stopped at a red light and thought about Vaughn. He cawed during the game, eliciting frowns then laughter from his buddies. Having earned the videogame time, he wouldn’t bail unless it was important. I just hoped he was safe.

“Vaughn killed my parents,” Tawny said, startling me. “After my mom attacked Farah, Cooper had her killed and Vaughn did it. When my dad came here to hurt me and steal money from the Johanssons, I shot him. It was Vaughn who finished him off, so Judd wouldn’t have to do it.”

Staring at her in the dark car, I wasn’t sure what to say. Tawny’s face was unreadable. She had learned to copy Judd’s cool expression, revealing nothing.

“Do you resent him for that?” I finally asked.

Tawny frowned. “No. The light is green.”

Driving again, I remained silent, so Tawny spoke up.

“My parents needed killing. Some people just do. Sometimes, those people will run up against a force like the Johanssons and the Reapers. When that happens, those people end up dead. I only told you because Vaughn is hardcore. Not a lot of guys can kill a woman, but Vaughn is a badass. You shouldn’t worry about him. I think he’ll beat the Devils because they’re fucking stupid and he isn’t.”

Smiling, I turned a block closer to her apartment. “Vaughn is a tough bastard.”

Tawny gave me a little grin. “You can’t change him. Once this crap with the Devils is done, you can’t expect him to turn into a nine-to-five guy.”

“I wouldn’t.”

“They’ve done ugly things. Vaughn and Judd both. Now, they can’t pretend to be normal men. Working some job and pretending they’re average guys would make all those ugly things uglier. It would destroy them. If you want Vaughn, you have to accept not only the ugly of his past, but the ugly of his future. He’s an enforcer and that means he’ll hurt people. He’ll come home with blood on his hands and you’ll have to love him anyway. You can’t make him feel bad because it’ll destroy him. Judd looks at me like I have the power to tear him apart. I’m careful because I know he’s done those things and I can’t make him feel bad about it. He accepts me and I accept him. You have to do the same with Vaughn.”

“I will,” I whispered, afraid to hope for a future with him. “I understand what Vaughn does.”

“I had a feeling about you. Even in Vegas when you were swearing off men, my gut said you would be good for Vaughn. Like you’d understand him.”

Panicked at the idea of jinxing what I had with Vaughn, I mumbled, “We’re just dating right now. Fuck buddies really.”

“Sure, sure,” she said, giving me a grin. “He’s so whipped and you’re hooked on him. The guy made fucking bird noises tonight. It’s a done deal.”

“I have bad luck with men. I care about Vaughn, but I don’t think things will work out.”

Tawny studied me then shrugged. “I want him to be happy and he seems happy with you. He was so pissed off when Judd and I got together. Pouting and having tantrums like a baby. He was obnoxious. Now, he doesn’t look at me like I’ve stolen his only friend. He looks happy.”

Vaughn just looked cranky when we pulled into the apartment garage. He and Judd were leaning against their Harleys, having a frowning contest. Their battle ended when we parked next to them.

Tawny climbed out and walked quickly to Judd. They stared at each other then he lifted an eyebrow and she smiled. Vaughn and I didn’t have the ability to do the silent conversation thing. Instead, he strolled over to me and ran his tongue over his top teeth.

“Everything okay?” I asked.

“Yeah, it was just a false alarm about some douche trying to break into my place,” Vaughn said, sliding his hands into my shorts and cupping my butt. “I cawed my heart out during the game, baby cakes. You owe me videogame time.”