“Stay the night,” she whined in a soft voice. “You already spent the night when I was sick. Why not now?”
Desperate to leave, I paced to the door. Bailey stood behind me and the will of her personality kept me from turning the knob. I looked into her beautiful blue eyes and forced out the truth.
“I hate thunderstorms,” I said and she nodded like she understood, but I knew she didn’t. “I get tense in them. I can’t relax and I don’t want to ruin your night.”
“I don’t care if you’re tense. I want you to stay.”
Taking her face in my hands, I was barely able to breathe as the storm approached.
“As a kid, I hid during thunderstorms. I couldn’t think or talk to anyone. I still get scared. Do you get it? I can’t be your boyfriend and watch a movie. I’m like a fucking baby, needing to hide in the fucking corner and wait for the storm to pass. When the thunder and lightning really kicks in… Acting like that at my place doesn’t make me feel like such a loser, but here with you…”
“I don’t care,” she said, caressing my hands which still held her face. “I want to be with you, Nick. I have a lot of ideas about what can happen between us. Big things like being together forever. You always run though. You pull away and put up these walls. I don’t care though. Not about you being scared or needing to sit in a corner. I want to love you. I think I really can and that means I need to accept everything about you. Not just Dragon or nice guy Nick. I accept that you come with baggage from your fucked up childhood. You accept my baggage and I didn’t even have a bad childhood. I had everything and I still get weird. Let me accept even the stuff you don’t like about yourself.”
“I’m a grown man,” I said, frustrated to show her weakness. “I know the damn thunderstorm isn’t going to hurt me”
“That’s not true. They kill people every year.”
“Bailey…”
“Am I just a hot girl you want to bang or do you think we could be more?”
“You know you’re more to me.”
“Then let me see the real you. If I am going to be an asshole about your hang-ups, why not get the whole thing out of the way and not waste time? I know I won’t and I want you to know too.”
Kissing her softly, I relaxed in her familiar taste and embrace. I wanted to stay with her. Where else would feel as good as with my girl? I just didn’t want to look like a pussy in front of woman who grew up surrounded by badasses.
“When I was a kid,” I said quietly, “the storms were so loud and the whole trailer would shake like it was going to be torn apart. I’d see other people getting ready for the storms. They’d keep their kids close, but I was alone most of the time. I would hide in the closet and wait for the storm to end. Even now, I feel like I’m back there.”
“It’s PTSD,” she said, tugging me away from the door and to the living room. “You’re reliving a trauma. My shrink told me about it when I asked her about Tawny’s issues. Like how she and Farah can get really weird when a lot of bikers are around. They know Cooper and Judd would never let anything happen to them, but they still get jittery. They aren’t fully in the present, Dr. Dee said. That’s your problem too. You hear the thunder and you’re back in the trailer as a scared little boy. No rational thinking is gonna convince you otherwise.”
“I’m sorry.”
Bailey gave me a soft smile. “For having shitty parents? That’s not your fault anymore than I deserve good ones. It was the luck of the draw. You did get lucky by meeting me because I’m super smart and sensitive and all.”
“You are sensitive,” I said, running my fingers along the seam of her pale blue tee.
When Bailey squirmed under my touch, I loved the look in her eyes. Something between lust and love.
Reaching for her, I stopped when thunder shook the apartment. My skin broke out in heat and I ran my hands through my hair instead of touching her.
“This is a good corner,” she said softly, moving to the counter overhang. “The wall isn’t an outside one and doesn’t shake as much as the others. It’s a good corner to sit in.”
“Bailey,” I muttered, wishing to leave so she wouldn’t see me afraid like a child.
“Sit down here and I’ll put on a movie. I’ll sit on the couch and we’ll be together. That’s better than you driving home in the storm and being alone.”
Giving up, I dropped on my ass with a thump while Bailey knelt in front of me. “Take off your shoes so I know you won’t leave. I feel needy, but don’t hold that against me, okay? You still like me even though I’m messed up and stuff, right?”
I smiled. “You’re not what I thought,” I said and she instantly assumed the worst. “You’re better in every way.”