“Where did you get all those bulldog shirts?” I asked, remembering Harlow’s question that I forgot to ask the night before.
Dylan frowned a little then shrugged like he was feeling insecure or on the spot.
“I like them,” I added.
Dylan wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “I bought them in California. My mom had married a guy in the Bay Area and his brother ran a bait and tackle shop. On the weekends, I worked there under the table. After work, I’d walk down to the pier and fish. Anyway, there was a shirt shop on the walk and I ended up buying a bunch of the shirts because I lost most of my clothes in the move.”
Dylan paused long enough to nuzzle his lips against my forehead. “Living in California was one of my happier times. I wear the shirts so I can remember that I didn’t always feel on the outside.”
“Why on the outside?”
“My parents are assholes. They’re always falling in love then falling out of love. We moved around a lot and I never had time to find any good friends. Even the time in Hermosa Beach didn’t last long and I was suddenly with my dad in Ellsberg. I just never found a place I felt I belonged.”
“How about now?”
Shaking his head, Dylan played with a lock of my hair. “I’ve had friends here since I was a kid. I thought they were cool, but they bailed when Dad put pressure on people to cut me off. I’d taken Lark’s side over his and the fucker thinks he’s an important man and should have his ass kissed at all times.”
Pausing again, Dylan frowned as he remembered his asshole dad’s attempt to ruin him. “Anyway, those assholes bailed, but Lark and Raven came through for me. They talked to Cooper about helping me get jobs in town after my dad got my contracts cancelled. Soon, I was bowling with the crew. Now I have a business and friends and a girl I can’t get enough of. Yeah, I finally feel like I belong.”
Smiling, I forced my lips against his. The urge to pull away was intense, but I refused to obey it. Dylan’s arms wrapped tighter around me and his free hand cupped my face.
The kiss deepened. His tongue licked at my lips and I opened for him without thinking. Our bodies pressed together and I felt a combination of raging desire and blinding panic. I struggled against the latter for as long as I could before pushing him away.
“Sorry,” Dylan mumbled, his lips at my temple.
Even sensing he was really sorry, I was mostly relieved he wasn’t upset. “I’m not great at getting close to people.”
Dylan studied my face. “I know Kirk saved you from some evil fucks.”
My stomach clenched and I shifted away from him. “What do you know exactly?”
“Just that your dad is an evil fuck too and he’s why you ended up with the bikers.”
“Anything else?”
Dylan shook his head. I wasn’t sure I believed him, but I figured the time had come to be honest about the past. Well, as honest as I could manage.
“When I was little, my mom moved back to Europe. I can’t remember where she was from, but my dad said she was homesick and visiting family. She either never came back or we moved. I don’t remember her at all. I really do have a bad memory and I don’t remember a lot of things.”
“Maybe that’s best,” Dylan said, tracing my lips with his thumb. “Remembering is overrated.”
I ran my finger over the nicked flesh on his chin. Dylan shivered and moved closer.
“You know the club owned me, right?”
Dylan tensed next to me and the heat left his expression. He opened his mouth to respond then changed his mind and only nodded.
My therapist insisted Dylan needed to respect my past if he wanted to be a part of my future. “Did you know I had a baby?”
Based on his expression, he didn’t know.
Nervous under his gaze, I tried to make him understand, “I was pregnant when Kirk found me. I couldn’t keep it. I was messed up and I couldn’t take care of myself.”
“How old were you?”
“Twelve when Kirk found me. Thirteen when I had the baby.”
“What happened to it?”
I lifted my gaze to meet his. “A couple from Bowling Green adopted him. They have a daughter and were really excited to have a son. They even let me name him. Well, I picked from the names they liked. Their choices were kinda weird like Phineas. I picked the best of the bunch, so his name is Jonah.”
Dylan’s frowning face remained frozen for a few minutes. He glanced around the yard then at my face. “I don’t know how you went through all that and still became so good and kind.”
He stared at my bruised hand. “My life was easy compared to yours, but I was being an asshole like my dad. One day, Lark told me if I didn’t want to end up like Larry then I needed to make real changes. If I had your life, I’d likely be a monster, but you’re not.”
“I don’t think you’d be a monster.”