“Jesus, Coop! Could you at least pretend to pay attention?” Beck barks, causing me to jump.
I can tell Beck is frustrated, knowing there isn’t anything we can do at the moment.
“Got it,” I say meekly. “So we sit and wait.”
This doesn’t do anything to help reassure me. Regardless of how safe I feel with Beck, and his ability to protect Chelcie and me, not having answers is downright terrifying.
“Don’t worry. We’re going to catch this jackass no matter what.” Beck’s words don’t help.
‘No matter what’ is the part that causes me the most concern. The thought of the happiness we’ve just now gotten back vanishing to some unknown threat, and not knowing how to prevent it causes my heart to hurt.
“Stop, Dee. Just trust me to do whatever it takes to keep you and Chelcie safe.”
I nod my head at Beck’s words and try to keep my breathing even, but inside, my gut is telling me that there is no way possible for this to end well.
CHAPTER 23
Beck
“How are you taking all of this?” I ask Dee later that night while we lay in bed.
She lifts her head off my chest and rests her chin against her hand. She just looks at me for a few beats, not giving anything away, before she says anything.
“I’m scared. I know you don’t want to hear that, but no matter how safe I feel in your arms, I can’t help it. There is someone out there that wants to hurt me, wants to hurt Chelcie, and who knows who else. Beck, he could be anyone off the street. What if it’s someone I pass every day and I have no clue?”
“I get it, I do. But, you have to believe and trust that we will keep you both safe. I won’t let this asshole take you from me, Dee. I finally have you back in my arms, and I’ll be goddamned if anyone threatens what we have.”
Her eyes close briefly and she takes a deep breath. I just continue to rub my hands lightly against her back. I would give anything to take this fear from her, but I can’t. Isn’t that the kicker? I would do anything for this woman, and I am completely powerless in this situation.
“I do, I promise. I know you and the guys will do everything in your power to keep anything bad from happening, but that doesn’t change the fact that the threat is here, and we have no idea how to stop it.”
I can hear the desperation in her tone. I shift our bodies so that we’re laying on our sides facing each other.
“Listen to me; you’ve come so far, Dee. Not just with your personal demons, but Baby, you’ve finally let it all go. The pain, the fear, all of it is gone and you better believe that I will fight an army if it means I keep this look of peace in your eyes. You hear me? I refuse to ever let you feel powerless or afraid. As long as I’m here, you will never, ever, feel that darkness touch you again.” I wipe the few tears that have fallen from her eyes and kiss her lightly. “Forever, Baby. You and me forever.”
“Forever,” she echoes with a wobbly smile.
She burrows as close as she can get, wraps her arms around my body, and tangles her feet with mine. Not once throughout the night does her hold let up. My girl knows exactly where she’s meant to be, and exactly who will move heaven and fucking earth to make sure that not one hair on her head is harmed.
*
Frustrated doesn’t even come close to describe how I’m feeling right now. It’s been eight days since we all sat down at my house to put all the cards on the table. Eight long days with nothing. Not one fucking thing. The unsub hasn’t sent another letter, hasn’t called, no smoke signals . . . not a damn thing.
Dee’s doing her best, but I can tell she is worried. I’ve been keeping a close eye on her. My worst fear is that she will start pulling into herself again. I know from experience that PTSD doesn’t ever completely go away. Some people go their whole lives after treatment ends and don’t have a setback, while others have triggers. So far, I haven’t seen anything that leads me to believe that she is struggling. For now, I just have to wait and watch her. She’s promised me that if she feels like things are getting dark again that she will immediately call Dr. Maxwell.
Even through all of this, she’s staying strong, and fuck, that feels good. It’s probably the only damn good thing that’s come out of all this. I have my girl and she has herself back.