“She’s in the family room.” I gesture with my head, in the general direction.
After paying the cabbie, Josh turns to face me. He and Sophie must’ve gone home to change at some stage as they’re both wearing T’s and jogging bottoms.
“This better be fucking good, Reed,” he says as he reaches my front door.
I don’t reply and remain silent all the way back to where Meebs is standing in my kitchen. The kettle is on and the coffee machine is pushing water through a pod and into a glass coffee cup. Sophie is sitting on a stool at the worktop, watching her.
“Tea?” I ask Josh. Assuming that Meebs already has Sophie’s drink in hand.
“I’ll have a coffee please,” Josh replies.
There’s an awkward silence while the drinks are made and all that seems to go through my mind on a loop, is that Meebs is in my kitchen.
She’s here.
Right here.
Right now.
In my kitchen.
When everyone has a drink, I lean back against the granite worktop next to Meebs. Just as I’m about to speak, Amoeba beats me to it.
“What did you do with the letter I gave you to give to Conner, when he was locked up?” she directs the question at Josh, who looks from her to me.
“What?” he asks her.
“What’s this all about?” Sophie joins in. Meebs gives her a death stare, which instantly shuts Sophie up and makes me think of the Shakespeare quote, ‘Though she be but little, she is fierce’ and I instantly feel my dick twitch. Not because I have a thing for The Bard, but because watching Meebs stick up for herself is as sexy as fuck. Actually, whatever she does, she’s as sexy as fuck.
“When Conner was locked up, I gave you a letter to take to him. It was one envelope, but there were two letters inside. I asked you to take them to Conner next time you were going to see him. I told you…” She stops and covers her mouth with her hand for a few seconds and looks at me, before looking back at Josh. She’s struggling not to cry and as much as it hurts my heart to watch her, I let her get the question out there. I let her feel that she’s got control here. I think she needs it. “I told you that if he still didn’t want to see me after he’d read them that I didn’t want to know, for you to just not tell me anything,” Josh is nodding as she speaks.
“Yeah, yeah, I remember. I tried to convince you to go and see him for yourself, but you wouldn’t.”
Meebs nods this time. “I was too scared, Con. I didn’t know the system. My brother said I needed permission or something from you. I was so scared you’d say, no.” She looks down at the tiles on the floor and I follow her gaze, noticing the pink polish on her toenails. Her feet and her toes are so tiny and sexy…
I’m fucked.
So totally fucked.
She’s been back in my life for about twelve hours and right now, if it were to become necessary in the next few minutes, I would be quite prepared to lay down my life for her.
“I should’ve been braver,” she says very quietly.
“What? No, no, this isn’t your fault.” I pull her into me, hold the sides of her face in each of my palms and tilt it so she has to look up at me.
“This isn’t your fault.” I kiss her gently on the mouth. “This isn’t your fault,” I repeat.
“I gave them to your brother,” Josh says.
She stiffens instantly in my arms, her eyebrows pulled into a frown as she turns around to face Josh.
“What did you say?” Sophie asks before either of us do.
Josh looks at me while letting out a long sigh.
“I saw him in the pub one night and I asked how Nina was doing. He said she was doing great and moving on with her life.” He switches his gaze to Meebs.
“I told him that you’d given me a couple of letters for Reed, but I hadn’t had a chance to get to see him.” He shrugs his shoulders. “Fuck! I fucked up.” He scratches the back of his head as realisation dawns on him.
“He told me he would talk to you and see if you wanted the letters delivered. He texted me the next day and said that you didn’t. Then he came around and collected them... he never, I never…” His eyes dart from mine to Meebs and I know he’s feeling almost as gutted as we are right now. “I’m so sorry. I gave him the letters and never gave them a second thought. He never told you, did he?”
She stands rigid in my arms, staring ahead at nothing. Her fists opening and closing. She turns to Sophie.
“When I was in the hospital and I asked you to call Conner—” Sophie starts to shake her head almost immediately.
“Holy fuck, Neen,” Sophie whispers.
“Why were you in the hospital? When?” Josh asks. Meebs ignores him.
“Why Soph, how? I asked you to call him. My phone was in your car, you had your phone on you. All you had to do was call him.”