Cocktales

So, I ask the most logical question. “Well, where is he then?”

She sobers up quicker than you can snap your fingers. “I do not-a know! If-a I knew, do-a you not-a think-a I would-a have him?”

Makes sense.

“How did he escape?”

She looks around as if we’re being spied on, then leans forward, conspiratorially narrowing her eyes. “I think-a some-a-one stole him.”

The laugh snorts out of me before I can stop it.

“You-a laugh at-a me?”

“No, I just—” I pause, sighing. “Nonna, the notion that someone stole Gio is, well, ridiculous.”

She gasps, hand to her chest once more. “He is-a lovely bird! Anyone would-a be lucky to-a have-a him!”

I respectfully disagree, but whatever.

“Nonna, nobody stole Gio.” I cross my arms and lean against the counter. “I’m sorry. Nobody in this town is crazy enough to want that damn bird.”

She wails. Long and high and oh, God, make it stop. I’m pretty sure she’s so high-pitched that dogs are the only ones who can hear her.

“What the hell is that noise?” Drake demands, stepping into the kitchen with a twin on each of his hips.

I swear. If I didn’t have to clean poo off my walls at five-thirty this morning, looking at him right now might make me want another.

“Gio is-a missing!” Nonna exclaims.

Drake looks at me. “What?”

“Someone stole him,” I say wryly, taking Alessia from him.

“They’re tired,” he says. “And I’m never taking two one-year-olds to the park on my own again. I don’t need to go to the gym this week. I already got my work-out in.”

I chuckle and stroke Antonio’s little dark head. “I’ll put them to bed.” Then, lowering my voice, I say, “Please explain to her that nobody would steal that damn bird.”

He rolls his eyes, but slides Antonio over onto my other hip. I carry the twins upstairs to the sound of Drake asking Nonna what she’s talking about.

“Mama,” Antonio babbles. “Mama, bed.”

“Mama’s putting you to bed, okay?” I kiss the side of his head and bump the door open with my hip. Their cribs are on opposite sides of the room for obvious reasons, and with the skill I’ve mastered over the last several months, put Antonio in his crib before moving an already sleeping Alessia into hers.

I kiss and tuck them both in, leaving Antonio babbling at the stuffed turtle in his crib. That boy could talk Nonna to death and he can only say five words.

Mama, Dada, no, juice, and poop.

I walk into the kitchen. Nonna is nursing a cup of hot tea, and Drake is looking anywhere but at me.

“Noella! Good-a news! Drake said you-a will-a find-a Gio!” Nonna exclaims, smiling cheerfully.

“He said what now?” I ask, shooting daggers at him. “I assume by “you,” he means the both of us?”

Drake jerks his head around and opens his mouth to reply, but Nonna beats him to it.

“Oh! That is-a good-a idea!” She claps her hands together. “I will-a watch-a the twins, and you will-a find-a Gio!”

“But, I—” Drake starts.

“Will gladly help me,” I finish through gritted teeth. “Won’t you, honey?”

He forced a smile and looked at Nonna. “Of course, I’ll help.”





Two





“I cannot believe you,” I say, slamming the car door. “We’ll find the parrot? Are you insane? This is the best thing that’s ever happened since that parrot came into our lives.”

Drake sighs, locking the car. “What could I do? She was crying.”

“They were crocodile tears! Your daughter is already an expert at it!”

“She gets that from her mother,” he mutters.

“Heard that, asshole.”

He laughs, pulling me toward him. “I said we’d look for him until the twins wake up, then she has to call your brothers. That’s all. It’s only an hour.”

“I don’t care. I don’t want to find that parrot.”

“The bonus is that you don’t have to make the twins’ cake now. Think of it like that,” he says brightly.

I stop in the middle of the street and look at him. “You sound a little too happy about that.”

“Well, sweetheart—”

“Think very carefully what you’re about to say, Mr. Nash.”

He bites the inside of his cheek. “Your first one was so burned it looked like a chocolate cake, and the second… Well, I don’t know what the fuck you did to that.”

“I followed the recipe!”

“For what? A mud pie?”

“Ugh.” I fold my arms and glare at him. “Fine. I’m happy that Mom is doing the cake so I don’t have to,” I admit. “But that’s not the point. I don’t want to chase the devil bird around town.”

“Neither do I.” He holds out his hands and steps toward me, cupping my face in his hands. “But, she is your nonna, and she loves the bird, so at the very least, we have to look.”

I stare up at him. I’m not happy, but he’s right, and there’s no way I won’t not look for the damn creature.

“Okay, I’ll look, but we’re splitting up to cover more ground.”

“Done. We’ll meet back here in thirty minutes?”

“S’pose,” I mutter.

Drake laughs, dipping his head to kiss me. “What do we do if we find Gio?”

“You won’t find Gio. You can’t find your socks in your sock drawer, and you think you can find a parrot in Holly Woods?” I snort, stepping back. “I’ll call you when I find him.”

“That’s awfully cocky for someone who doesn’t want to find him.” He quirks a brow, lips tugging to one side.

“I don’t want to find him, but I know you won’t, so therefore, logic dictates that I will find him.” I cross my arms. “I know you hate losing, but you’ll have to deal with it.”

“I hate losing? Right. You threatened to burn the Monopoly board last week, Noelle.”

“That game is stupid, and you cheated!”

He laughed and backed up. “All right, all right. Fine. I’ll wait for your call for when you find Gio.”

“You better be looking! You’re not allowed to bail on me! You got us into this situation!” I yell as he leaves the office parking lot and walks down the street.

Drake puts one hand up in goodbye, and I “psh” in his direction.

Why did I marry him again?

Oh, that’s right. Because I fell in love with the fool.

Sigh.

“What are you yelling about?” Bek asks, stepping out into the sunshine. “If someone died—”

I laugh. “Nobody died.” After a spate of murders over two or so years, we are finally murder-free again in Holly Woods. “Gio is missing, and Nonna enlisted me and Drake to find the stupid bird instead of me baking like I’m supposed to be.”

She tucked her red hair behind her ear and wrinkled up her face. “Why would you find Gio? You hate him.”

“It wasn’t by choice. Drake agreed for me, so I roped him into it, too.”

“So why are you shouting?”

“Because he reminded me of last week’s ill-fated Monopoly game and it made me mad,” I mutter. “How are you feeling?”

“Well, my breakfast stayed down this morning, so…” She gives me a weak smile and crosses her fingers.

I grimace in solidarity. “I don’t miss morning sickness. Did you call your doctor for some meds yet?”

She sighs. “I’m gonna have to. Brody is hovering over me like a fly around shit, and next time, I think I’ll just vomit on him to make him go away.”

“Sound plan.”

“Do you want some company? I could use the fresh air. Literally everyone is in the office today and there are clients in and out every fifteen minutes. It’s giving me a headache.”

“Are you going to vomit on me?”

She shakes her head. “No. But if I stay here much longer, I will.”

“Sure. Come with me. I have to find Gio first, anyway.”

She pauses. “Why?”

“Pride.” I shrug. “Besides. I can’t lose to a man who can’t find a pair of matching socks on a morning, can I?”

Bek raises an eyebrow. “A matching pair? I’m lucky if Brody can find any at all.”

“Yeah, well, if I didn’t do laundry, Drake wouldn’t either.”