“Well damn! Look there! I cooled you down too much, because it seems you have a case of whiskey dick, Cowboy,” she says and then pours the rest of the bottle of whiskey on me.
I jump up as she empties the last of the bottle on my dick. I’m busy trying to get the ice out from around my balls and abused rod, all while cussing. I really should have been paying more attention, because then I would have noticed she’s holding a rather large, black, overnight bag in one hand. She swings it hard at me. It slams me in the face, and I fall to the floor. My head smashes against the wood flooring and it’s a damn good hit, because that, combined with the alcohol I’ve consumed, almost blacks me out. The world goes gray, but I manage to hold on when I hear her yell to Nicole.
“Nic? I’m going to go spend some time with Ray and Paul. Call me if you need me.”
Then she takes the empty bottle of Jack and throws it hard against my alcohol-drenched cock.
“Since you’re getting bored, Crusher,” she says sneering my club name, “Move your fucking shit out of my house while I’m gone.”
With that she stomps out and even in my drunken misery, I have to say she looks fucking phenomenal. In the same thought, I realize I’ve lost any chance I ever had with her. Fuck.
Chapter 17
Dani
“I’m fine Nicole, I promise. It’s been good. Paul and Ray have been taking great care of me,” I say into the phone, looking out the small window of Ray’s condo that I’ve been staying in.
“You need to come home Dani, I miss you.”
“I miss you too, more than you know. I’ve needed this though, it’s been good for me and I’m finally going to therapy regularly. You’d be proud of me. I’m almost like a real girl now,” I joke.
Still it’s true. My month here with Ray and Paul has been good. It’s a month in which I’ve pulled myself together more. I’ve been going through therapy for survivors and that’s what I am. I’m not a victim. I am a survivor. I survived violence. Period. It’s developed into my daily mantra. I’m a survivor. I’ve let my past rule me for too long. I thought I deserved what Michael dished out. It doesn’t make sense, but that’s how I felt inside. I still have my moments, but I’m a lot better. I can’t spend my life like I have. I could have gotten Nicole killed. No matter what she or anyone says, that’s on me and I need to make changes. I have to make changes.
“Are you coming home?” Nicole asks and I want to say that my home isn’t there. Then again, my home isn’t here either. I have a lot to figure out. I may be hiding from my past, but Ray, Paul, and my sponsor are all right. I can’t let my past choke out whatever future I can make for myself.
“Maybe. What’s been going on there?”
“Not a lot. We have a new girl staying with us Caroline. She’s sweet.”
“Sweet like a Twinkie?” I ask before I can stop myself.
“Nah, Carrie isn’t a Twinkie. She’s someone from Dancer’s past. Dragon said she has something to do with why he’s in jail. I think Dancer was defending her or something. I don’t know, Dragon’s not said a lot. You know, club business and all that.”
“Sometimes it’s better not to know,” I answer. Dancer is a Savage member that has been in jail for the last couple of years. Whatever his past is, it’s probably not good and I think Dragon is smart for trying to protect Nicole.
“Maybe, but it is annoying to be the only one out of the loop. I feel like I’m the only one with my head buried in the sand around here.”
“Well knowing that crew, there’s some that have their heads in their ass, so at least you’re not them,” I answer, thinking of Zander.
Nicole snorts, “I’m not arguing. I’m glad you caught Crusher lying. You don’t need to go there, you were smart to shoot him down. He does ask about you though.”
“Do you tell him I’ve died and he can see me when he gets to hell?”
“I told him the truth.”
“Well that’s boring,” I respond.