“Don’t feel bad about having feelings, Mark. You’re allowed to feel whatever you feel.”
I reached across the table and grabbed his hand, and he smiled and squeezed back.
“Thanks, Caroline. You know, I don’t know what I’d do without you. You’ve been so amazing to me through this whole mess. Plus you’re the only person I know who really understands what I’m going through.”
“No problem. I know you want to blame yourself. I did too, when I left. Maybe if I’d been a better figure skater, maybe if I’d worked harder, my mother wouldn’t have treated me like she did. But eventually I realized that wasn’t true, but they were still my feelings. Don’t blame yourself, but don’t feel bad about feeling whatever it is you feel either. Your feelings don’t make you weak, going through this makes you strong.”
“I love you, Caroline.”
The words came from out of nowhere, they blew me away. I’m pretty sure I sat there staring at Mark for like, five minutes.
“Sorry if that’s too forward,” he continued, realizing I wasn’t saying anything. “I don’t want to ruin what we have, but I want you to know. I love you, I realized over the last few weeks. I don’t know what I’d do without you in my life.”
I smiled. “I love you too, Mark,” I finally replied. And as I said the words, I knew it was true. Hell, I’d known I was in love with Mark for a long time, I was always just too afraid to say it, too afraid to ruin what we had. And speaking of what we had, I realized that since we’d come back from New York there had been no more talk of me becoming Mark’s submissive. I guess with everything that had happened we got sidetracked by other things. But now, I knew what I wanted. I knew what I felt that night at the charity dinner when I came in front of all those people, when Mark had complete control over me.
“Not only do I love you, but I want to be your submissive,” I said, almost whispering in case people from other tables were listening in to our conversation.
A grin spread across Mark’s face.
“I was wondering if you’d forgotten I’d even asked. I didn’t want to bring it up again after the trip, but hey, I’m glad you did, especially since that’s your answer.”
I began to blush, realizing what I’d just said, realizing what it implied.
“I think we should get a sundae to celebrate, I hear they do an amazing one here,” Mark said, motioning the waitress over.
I didn’t hear Mark order the Sundae, I was still just completely taken aback by what had just happened. Mark had told me he loved me. Like, really loved me. Then I said the same and agreed to be his submissive. Just like that, in the last minute, my life changed so enormously. I didn’t know how yet, but I knew it had changed.
“Hey, Caroline, you okay?” Mark asked. I must have really looked like I zoned out. I smiled at him.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Great, actually.”
“Good, I’m glad.”
We barely got out of the restaurant before Mark and I were all over each other, and as our hands roamed our bodies as the car drove us back to his place, I wondered if we were even going to make it that far before we’d ripped each other’s clothes off.
*
For the next week or so, things were pretty much as close to perfect as I could imagine. Mark and I were happier than ever. I was getting used to being his submissive. He bought me a beautiful silk collar studded with diamonds that simply looked like an accessory to everyone we met in public, but that was our secret little representation of his ownership of my body.
It was exciting, really, knowing that I had to obey every one of Mark’s commands. He had always been dominating in the bedroom, I knew that, but this took things to a whole new level, a level that sent chills down my spine and pleasure radiating through me whenever I even thought of it.
As far as Mark went, our talk at the restaurant helped. He was no longer withdrawn, he was basically back to normal. He mentioned to me that he might try and get in touch with Sam, to try and apologize and fix that relationship. I encouraged it, absolutely, as I thought it would be good for Mark.
Still, it was almost like I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. There was no way this whole thing could go this perfectly. I know any drama in my family never did. There was no way Mark’s father could simply forgive him and move on, as much as I hoped that was what happened and wanted it to.
Finally, it happened. I was working in my office one day when Mark came down to see me. I immediately knew something was wrong. It wasn’t just Mark’s paler-than-usual face, or the worried crease lines in his forehead. For one thing, he very rarely, if ever actually came down to my office, to avoid any rumours that we might be seeing each other, even though we both knew it was the worst kept secret in the office.