“Exactly. It felt like there was no one to talk to, no one you could turn to. It felt like no one would believe me, and even if they did believe me, they’d just tell me to harden up.”
“That’s it, yes. Mine took the form of my mother forcing me to be a figure skater. Every time I practiced, every time I went to a meet, I hated it more. I would cry in the change rooms before I had to go out there. Once, early on, when I was six, I refused to go out. I already started to hate it. I hated the pressure my mother put on me. I hated all of it. She spanked me so hard I was still crying when I went onto the ice. But I never dared tell her I didn’t want to do it anymore. No matter how many times she told me I was pointless, no matter how many times she called me a loser, said I was disappointing the family.”
“How did you get out of it?”
“I eventually ran away. I planned it for months. I waited for my mother to go to work one day, packed up my things, and left. I’d just graduated from high school, but I was still seventeen. I had a friend who was older, she had been one of the coaches. I told her everything, and she invited me to stay with her. I did, for a few days, then realized I was going to have to get away, since I found out my mother was trying to find me. So I spent most of the rest of my cash and bought a bus ticket to anywhere. I ended up in Minneapolis.”
“I admire your courage, Caroline. You have courage I don’t. I never ran away. I stayed. I don’t know why. I guess I’m just weak, but I was never able to break those bonds completely.”
“You’re not weak. Absolutely not. They’re still your family. It’s not easy to just cut them out from your life entirely. Especially not in a situation like yours, where they’re in the public eye fairly regularly, where it would be impossible for you to really run.”
“I guess so. Still, I decided tonight that I’ve had it with them. It was enough to abuse me all my life, but I didn’t want you to be subjected to it either. Especially now, knowing that you’ve been through it already, that you know all of the horrible feelings associated with it.”
“I know, I understand completely.”
Just then, Mark’s phone began to buzz in his pocket. He took it out and looked at the screen; it was his sister. Tossing the phone aside, we both watched it buzz in vain.
“I guess she’s going to have gotten the brunt of it from my parents. Hopefully she’s not too upset with me.”
“Even if so, Mark, it’s not your fault.”
“I know, but I still can’t help but feel a little bit guilty. She’s my sister. I probably should have protected her more.”
“She’s a grown woman, just like you. She can make her own decisions.”
“Yeah, you’re right. Still, I should call her back.”
I went into the bedroom to give Mark some privacy while he called his sister. Funnily enough, I’d completely forgotten about the fact that I still had that egg inside of me, and I slipped it out carefully. It had only been maybe an hour ago that Mark had made me cum in front of all those people, none of them having the slightest clue as to what was going on inside of me, and yet it felt like a lifetime ago.
Ten minutes later Mark came into the room. He looked stressed, I could tell.
“How did it go?” I asked.
“About as well as could be expected, I guess. She wanted me to know that she still supports me, but to be careful. She says my father was absolutely livid, which was about what I expected.”
“What do you think he’s going to do about it?”
“I don’t know. It’s hard, you know? After all, I run companies that he still technically owns. He could have me fired tomorrow, very easily.”
“Do you think he’ll do that?”
“I honestly don’t have a clue. I’m not going to worry about it for now. I think I might just try and get some sleep. We’re flying back tomorrow and I don’t want to spend another minute in this city more than I have to.”
We both lay down on the bed, but neither one of us could sleep. The night had brought back a whole bunch of bad memories, memories I’d long since shoved down into the depths of my memory, that I hadn’t thought about in years.
I wondered if my mother was trying to find me. I wondered if she ever tried to find me, or if she decided that at seventeen it was obvious I was never going to have a figure skating career and wrote me off as her daughter.
As I stared at the ceiling, my thoughts turned. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t realized what Mark had been going through. I should have noticed, I should have figured it out.
I reached over and wrapped my arms around him, and he murmured his appreciation. I knew he wasn’t sleeping either, but I didn’t want to interrupt his thoughts.
What I didn’t know was what was going to happen in the future, now that Mark had finally stood up to his family.