"Eric, apologize," she says, shocking me. I figured if they found out about Brett's marital status, it would earn him a permanent spot on the "no way" list. Apparently, I underestimated my mom.
"Um, do you need a hearing aid? He is married. I'm not apologizing to him," Eric responds, dumbfounded that she would even suggest it.
"Yes, you are. He just explained his situation to us, and he didn't have to do that. He obviously didn't lie to Jesse, and that means more than anything you could have dug up on him. So apologize or head out the door. I hear the Chinese Palace is open today.”
"Mom, it’s Thanksgiving. I'm not eating Chinese."
"Exactly! So start apologizing!"
"This is ridiculous! I didn't do anything wrong." Eric tries to defend himself, but just comes off sounding like a whiney child.
"Let me see if I've got this right. You put your hands on your sister at a bar, and her boyfriend defended her like a man should. Oh, then you got cranky, checked up on him, and aired his private business in public, essentially embarrassing everyone involved. And the icing on the cake is you think you didn't do anything wrong. Please, tell me I did not raise such a selfish and ignorant man," my mom says as Eric rolls his eyes.
"I'm sorry," Eric begrudgingly says to Brett, who just nods in his direction. It's going to take way more than a forced apology for these two to get along.
"Okay, now that’s settled. Eric, here's a list. I need you to find a store open and pick up a few things I forgot.”
"Alright. I had to park at the end of the street, one of your neighbors parked a sweet beamer in front of the house. It's like that one we looked at a few months ago. Same convertible top and color too. You didn't happen to win the lottery and buy me an early Christmas present, did you?" He laughs switching gears back to the sweet mama's boy he's always been.
"That's mine," Brett speaks up, breaking some of the awkward tension that’s still lingering in the air.
"Really? I was looking at one a few months ago, but I was torn between that and a Benz. You like it?" Eric surprisingly asks without even a hint of attitude in his voice.
"When did you become such a snob?" I respond before Brett has a chance. "I remember scouring the classifieds for your first car. It was almost impossible to find one that would actually start for less than five hundred bucks. We must have looked at a million pieces of crap before we found that hunk of junk Honda."
"Hey! Cecilia was beautiful, don't knock her. She drove you to and from school for two whole years before she went to junkyard heaven. May she rest in peace." He attempts the catholic crossing, but since we have never been to mass a single day in our lives, it looks more like he's giving himself a cooties shot.
"Alright, I'm headed to the store. I'll be back in a few. We have plenty of beer right?" Eric asks.
"Yes, Brett brought more than enough," I say, making sure he knows who paid for his drinks.
"Cool. I'll be back soon."
"Here." Brett throws his keys only slightly harder than he needed to. "Take my car, its closer and you can see why the Benz is absolutely zero competition."
"Oh, okay," Eric says, surprised by the gesture.
"You are some hot-shot criminal attorney who can afford to replace her, right?" Brett says humorously, but I know he's serious. Eric's eyes slide to me. "Don't worry, Jess didn't say anything. You aren't the only one who did their research." Brett smiles a sugary-sweet and menacing grin. I won't lie, it's incredibly hot.
Eric leaves but doesn't bother giving Brett back his keys. I'm assuming the prospect of driving his BMW is more appealing than the shot to his pride.
"Alright, I wouldn't be a good mom if I didn't ask this question," my mom says, walking to stand directly in front of Brett. "We have established you have some private things going on in your life. I won't pry. Jesse is smart and way too cautious, so if she is dating you I'm going to assume she already knows this answer. But honey, I need to know if you are romantically seeing any one other than my daughter?"
"No, ma'am."
"Okay," she pats him on the chest, "grab yourself a beer and make yourself at home."
"Here Brett, I'll show you to the T.V. room." I drag him out of the room. I need to speak with him in private after that little show-down.
"I'm so sorry!" I immediately start apologizing.
"It's okay, gorgeous."
"No, it's not. I know that was awkward for you. Just so you know as soon as Eric gets back, I'm going to let him have it."
"Your brother is an ass, Jess. But I know he's just trying to look out for you. If one of my sisters brought home a married man, I would have reacted the same way. Maybe a little more privately, but still the same. The last thing I want is for you to get into it with him again. I know he's your brother, but I'm not going to be able to listen to him calling you names. Please, let’s just try to have a quiet, uneventful day. I could really use one of those." He pulls me into a tight hug.
"I'm glad you came," I say into his chest.