"Responsible," he answers with one word, and I stay quiet waiting for him to elaborate. "Jesse, I don't know. I didn't cause the wreck, but I feel like I have to fix it. I have an obligation to her. I married her once. I vowed for better or worse, but I didn't just get worse. I got nonexistent.
My Sarah is gone, but that doesn't release me from my responsibilities to her though. She doesn't have anyone else. Her parents are both dead. She didn't even go to their funerals. Her sister has written her off completely. They had a big blow out a few weeks after she first tried to kill herself. Her only real friend, Casey, just disappeared. I guess Manda's death was too much for her to handle. She moved down to Ohio and hasn't been back since. I'm all Sarah has left, and she hates me, so I don't know how much help I really am."
"I'm so sorry."
"Stop apologizing. Did you cause the accident that night?"
"Of course not."
"Then, I don't want to hear a single ‘I'm sorry’ ever escape your lips again." When he says this, he leans in close, and I know he’s about to kiss me. I'm still upset, but I'd pay good money to get one of those toe curling Brett Sharp kisses right now. He looks down at my lips as if he can read my mind, but shakes his head and leans back against the couch. "Now gorgeous, what else do you want to know."
"No kids?"
"None. The picture was my niece. She looks a lot like me. I didn't even know Sarah still had any pictures of my family. When she moved out she didn't take anything with her. Everything she has now is new, with the exception of her jewelry box. That's it. I have all of her other stuff in storage near our old house. She used to be a writer. You couldn't pry her laptop out of her hands on most days. She's never even asked for it again."
"I'm..." I stop myself from apologizing, "that's sad." I finish instead.
"It is sad, but it's also reality."
"What do you want from me?" I move to the core of this entire conversation. Today, I have learned the full story of Sarah and Brett. But I have no idea where that leaves Brett and Jesse.
"I don't know."
"Well that was fun." I jump off his lap embarrassed, ready to sprint to my bedroom.
"I don't know" was not at all the answer I wanted or expected. He's obviously come here for a reason. I thought it was to win me back, make things right, fight for me. Apparently, my assumptions were all wrong.
"Slow down. You're not going anywhere until you let me finish." He pulls me back down, although this time, he doesn't give me the same space he did before. He cradles me in his arms, half restraining, half tenderly holding me. "I don't know what I can give you." He leans forward, placing a soft kiss to my temple. "I want to be with you. I want to spend time with you. I want to get to know you. And if I'm being honest, I want to touch every inch of your body with every inch of mine." Even hurt and upset, his words still make me heat. I shift in his lap trying to cover my breathy reaction when I feel his hard-on grow underneath me.
"Jesus, it's hot that even as fucked up as things are, I can still turn you on with just one sentence." He finishes by placing a wet kiss on my exposed collar bone, sending chills down my body.
"Stop. We need to talk." I try to shake him off.
"Then talk." He continues kissing up my neck. It feels so good, I'm almost willing to end this conversation now. Starting a new one in the bedroom. Almost.
"Brett. Please. I need answers. I can't think with you touching me like that. It's too much." He finally stops, reluctantly removing his arms and throwing them back over the couch.
"You're right. I got carried away, keep talking." He relents.
"I don't know what to do with you. I think you are just as messed up as Sarah." His head snaps back as if I slapped him.
"Wow, um…wow,” he says stunned. “That is quite an insult after today."
"I just mean you have baggage. A lot of it. I'm not just talking about Sarah either. I'm talking about your guilt and self-imposed punishment for the way she is now."
"Caleb really got into your head today didn't he?" he asks.
"Yes, he told me a lot about you and Sarah."
"Did he mention that he hates her? Blames her for the wreck? Wishes she was the one dead instead of Manda? Did he mention any of that while he was giving you a little history lesson?" He begins to get angry.
"Yes, he actually mentioned all of that." This wasn't what he expected me to say. I know he thought Caleb filled my head with horrible ideas about Sarah. He didn't do that at all though.