"Caleb! Open the fucking door!" I pound my fists against her door, all the while contemplating if I could kick it down. Just as I step back to give it my best attempt, Caleb yanks open her door.
"What's up, big man?" Seeing him standing in Jess's apartment is enough to rock me back on my heels.
"What the hell are you doing here?"
"Oh you know, just cleaning up your mess. Better question is what are you doing here?"
"Is this your little idea of payback for having to see Sarah today? I swear to Christ if you touched Jess..."
"Exactly what are you going to do Brett? If I recall correctly, you watched me pick her up and carry her out this morning. You didn't try to stop me then. Now, you suddenly care that we are spending time together? God forbid I touch the woman you threw to the wolves. It only took you what," he stops to check his watch, "four hours to get here. If Jesse means so much to you, what the hell took you so long?"
"She is not one of your conquests to make you forget about Manda! She's not yours!" I yell words that I have no control over.
"Oh, but she's yours? Because that is not the way it looked today while you were holding your wife."
"Fuck you! Yes, she's mine! You of all people know that!" I step up ready to once again go toe to toe with my best friend. Only this time he doesn't respond to my challenge. He begins to laugh instead.
"Just checking." He pats me on the chest, doing nothing to calm my rage.
"Caleb, stop." I hear Jesse say walking under his arm and stopping in the door way in front of me.
"Hey," she says in that shy way I'm getting used to.
"Did he touch you?" I swear it just spews from my mouth. I had no plans for those to be the first words I say to her, but apparently my testosterone had other ideas.
"What? No!"
"Then why is he still here?" I ask accusingly.
"I asked him to stay. I didn't want to be alone. While you were off doing whatever you were doing with Sarah, he was nice enough to hang out.”
"Jesse, I know Caleb. He doesn't just hang out with women. Don't bullshit me right now. Is something going on with you two?"
"You know what. I'm not doing this. You need to leave," she answers, rightfully annoyed.
"Not happening. We need to talk." I look up at Caleb still protectively standing behind her. "You, however, can leave. I've got it from here."
"The hell you do! Besides, I'm not going anywhere, Jesse is cooking me lunch. You should have tasted her pancakes this morning," he pauses to wink and lick his lips before finishing, "Benissimo!" That one word all it takes for me to lose it. But for reason, known only to my dick, I lose it on the wrong person.
"You blew him? Jesus Christ Jess, what the hell?"
"And here we go," Caleb says at the same time I see Jess's eyes widen as she morphs into a mad woman.
"You did not just say that to me!" She screams as Caleb lifts her off her feet dragging her away. Him touching her, only pisses me off more.
"Put me down! Put me down, now!" She kicks her legs trying to break free of his hold. If I was an outsider looking in I would think this tiny woman was comical. I'm not an outsider though, and it's my tiny woman he's man handling.
"Get your hands off her!" I snap.
"Oh, now I know you're kidding, ass-puck! She is about to claw your eyes out, and if you keep this up I'm going to let her. You're being a dick. Both of you just need to calm down."
"You couldn't keep your hands to yourself for a few hours? I've felt something for the first time in years with her, yet you swoop in and steal it away just to get your rocks off. Shit!" I finally realize what's going on. "Oh my God, you're jealous that I'm moving on! Why did I not see this coming?"
"First off, you sound like an idiot right now. I didn't do shit to steal anything from you. You're doing a bang up job of ruining this all on your own. Secondly, I'm jealous that you're moving on? Where can I preorder tickets to your new comedy show? Because you should take this shit on the road. Moving on? If you really think you’re moving on after what went down this morning, apparently Sarah isn't the only delusional one. Nothing happened between Jess and I, so the next words out of your mouth better be a fucking apology."
"Right, because you two clearly look like two people who were barely even friends last week." I look down to where he is still tightly holding her against his body.
"Stop talking about me like I'm not here! Get out, both of you!" she yells, still trying to fight out of Caleb's grip.
This is too much. All of it. Maybe I'm just delaying the inevitable by holding on to Jess. If I was a better man I would turn and walk out the door right now. Fortunately for me, I'm an asshole so I'm going to fight for her only to disappoint her later down the line. Outstanding!
"I'm not leaving until we talk. I have a lot to say."