Ian looked away and studied his hands. “How was your return to the palace? I imagine the visit was much more pleasant with your new role?”
I snorted. “Hardly. I spent a week taking lessons in decorum and the rest of the time watching the court pretend I didn’t exist—when they weren’t trying to win my favor.”
He raised an exaggerated brow. “I’m sure there were some advantages.”
Getting picked apart by the Pythian ambassador and threatened by the king? I shook my head, and drew my hair back into a knot. “If there are I have yet to discover them.” I paused, realizing how selfish I sounded even to myself. “Except for my own chamber. That was nice.”
“Well I’m sure Darren was happy to see you.”
“He was…” Right until the time he found out about you. I swallowed.
Ian caught my expression. “Let me guess, the young princeling found out I was here and assumed it was part of my nefarious plan to steal your heart.” The mage chuckled and looked skyward. “Well, I can’t say I missed him either. The next time you see your betrothed, please remind him not all of us sink to his level of treachery to get the girl.”
I cringed. This conversation had not taken a favorable course. I wasn’t pleased with Darren either but… But this wasn’t making the situation any better. These two would never be friends, too many wrongs, and there was nothing I could do to set them right.
“Alright everyone, you know the routine. Tend to your mounts and then see to the camp.” Sir Gavin’s voice rang out loud and clear. Ian and I started from our thoughts.
The mage kept his eyes on the pine ahead as the two of us dismounted and walked across the clearing to where the rest of the party had started to tie up their charges. “In any case, I am happy he was decent enough to help you with the request.”
I felt the tension leave my shoulders. I exhaled quietly. “Thank you, Ian.”
He looked up, but the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I know you’ve been having trouble being accepted around here because of your new status, but I think this will go a long way toward changing the stubborn ones’ opinions.”
I nodded, not quite believing and still hoping desperately he and Commander Nyx would prove me wrong. So far I hadn’t noticed a difference.
Everyone was still treating me with the same amount of hostility as before. Although, to be fair, I hadn’t made that much of an effort to mingle.
In truth, since my return I’d been more isolated than usual. I was still upset over the way Darren and I had left things, and between my anger and his residual taunt I had become obsessed with my training both as a diversion and a way to prove the non-heir wrong. So much so that I had stopped taking meals with the rest of my unit. Who realized how much longer it took to eat surrounded by conversation? And while I was sure it didn’t help my relations with the squad, it did amass an extra hour between the three meals of the day for drills.
An hour that before might have been part of some meaningless banter.
I wasn’t so sure I cared what the soldiers thought of me anymore. I had proven myself—in my regular performance, in the bandit raid, and now my petition for coin. Quite frankly, I had done a whole lot more for my regiment than most men combined. If they wanted to complain about some privileged girl, there was nothing I could do to stop them. And I was done trying.
I finished brushing down my horse and set down my supplies. “I’m off to wash up before dinner, see you at drills after?”
Ian studied my face and then sighed. “You know, Ryiah…”
I waited for him to finish.
The mage cleared his throat. “It wouldn’t hurt to spend some more time with the rest of the company. I know you want to train, but it’s only the Candidacy. Relations here are going to matter a lot more than some contest.”
I thought back to my first year of the apprenticeship when Ian had made a similar remark about Darren’s time spent training with Byron. This was different. I had tried, and… And quite honestly Darren’s methods had worked. Which one of us was first rank now? I should have been ignoring everyone and focusing on myself.
And now, for the first time, Darren was slipping. And I had the opportunity to rise. I understood Ian’s concern, but it was time to turn to me.
“My friends are the people that matter. People like you and Ray and Lief and Ruth and everyone who got to know me for me. The ones blinded by the Crown? Well, it doesn’t make a difference; I’ll be out of here soon anyway.”
Ian muttered something under his breath. I didn’t catch it.
“What was that?”
The mage looked me straight in the eyes. “You sound just like him.”
Ian’s tone had an edge and even though I was still upset with Darren I flushed angrily in reply.
“Maybe I do. Darren is the most powerful mage of all of us, why shouldn’t I want to be like him?”
He just shook his head. “I’m sorry I said anything.”
I didn’t continue the conversation; I just grabbed my things and left.