“I petitioned Dar -the Crown-to help the North… The king couldn’t grant as much as I’m sure the border towns need—but I was hoping this would help?”
“Help?” The commander stared at me, studying my face for a sign of what, I wasn’t sure. “It has been a great many years since the north received attention from the Crown.” She inhaled sharply. “This will go a long way towards rebuilding their villages. I continue to underestimate your value to our keep.” She paused in afterthought. “And the Crown.”
“I-it wasn’t just me.” I scratched at my arm. I never would have even thought to ask without Ian’s prompting, and it was Darren and Blayne who had actually seen to the favor. I tried to explain, but she wouldn’t let me finish.
“We live in a world of kings. Like it or not, not everyone’s request would make such an impression.” Her expression was detached. “My men have sent the same petition for years, and this is the first time King Lucius has ever granted an exception.”
Was that true? I cringed and realized her compliments weren’t quite as innocent as I had been led to believe.
“Never regret your influence.” The commander crooked her teeth in what I supposed was a cheery smile. “I will begin to make disbursements in the morning. I suspect many of the others will be a bit easier to contend with after they hear the news.”
“You knew about that?”
“Some of my soldiers are a bit harder to please.” She gave me a reassuring grasp on the shoulder as she showed me to the door. “I advise you not to pay them any attention.”
I coughed uncomfortably. “Thank you, Commander.”
“No, thank you, Mage Ryiah.”
The level of gratitude was overwhelming, and as Paige followed me to the barracks I realized how earnest Ian’s request had truly been. I had never grown up in the north. My stint of service didn’t begin to cover the shortcomings resulting from the Caltothian border raids.
It made me upset to realize how much must have been behind Ian’s petition to help. I was ashamed of my own ignorance, and a part of me was upset he had been right in assuming I could make the difference the Commander’s appeals could not. I wasn’t comfortable with that influence, and something about Nyx’s words reminded me of Darren’s speech several years before:
“People make mistakes all the time—some of us are just in more of a position to leave an impact when we do.” Impact. Influence. Somehow along the way I had joined the circle of people whose actions dictated change, and it scared me how easy it would be to make the wrong one.
“Paige, will you tell me if you think I am making the wrong decision?”
“Wrong decision for what, my lady?” The knight had already collapsed onto her bunk, grateful to lie down after a long, cold week of travel.
I sat down on my cot, pulling the covers up to my chest. The rest of the barracks occupants were already fast asleep. “For anything.”
“Gladly.” She pointed to my water skin. “You’re making the wrong one right now. You should always ask your guard if she requires the last drink.”
“Paige!”
She rolled her eyes and settled in for the night. I heard soft snores coming from her just a moment later.
So much for help. I threw the water in her direction half-heartedly but she didn’t move. I tossed and turned and I had almost fallen asleep when she finally spoke:
“You haven’t made one yet, my lady.”
I fervently hoped she was right.
****
My next two weeks at the keep flew by. Since my unit was still away on patrols for the first seven days I used my brief break to train alongside the Combat mages on reprieve. Most of them were older men and women closer to my parents’ age than my own. Their focus was primarily on physical conditioning since the majority of their magic stores had started to diminish with age. They had to be extremely selective in casting, and I found it very interesting to study their process of choosing.
We trained hard day after day, and during our breaks they offered critiques on my casting. I exerted too much pressure in a lot of my magic—still, and while I was refined in my pain casting, I was lacking in traditional casting.
During my time at the Academy most of my masters had been so focused on revealing the depths of my potential they had never sought to polish the castings at hand. Master Byron had all but ignored me during the apprenticeship when he hadn’t been openly insulting my technique, and so the older mages’ feedback now was much more invaluable because of it.