He pulled me against his chest and rubbed my arms and back, murmuring into my ear about how it wasn't my fault and it would all be okay. The warmth, his warmth, finally reached me. The cold that had settled into my bones abated, leaving me craving more of him.
I wrapped my arms around him, resting my face in the nape of his neck, relishing the feel of his skin against my cheek. Lucky would be torturing me right now if not for this man. I would either be carved up and wishing I was dead, or dead.
Looking up into his eyes, I saw him for the first time. This man who put aside his own safety to save those he cared for. Or those who needed his help. This man who had walked away from the safety of his family legacy to carve his own path in life, come what may. This man who looked past the label of phone sex operator and saw the girl behind the job. This man who carried the weight of his heroism with him everyday.
"Ash—" my voice cracked. I rested a hand on his cheek and he didn't pull away.
"Catelyn… " I could see him resist. He knew what I wanted and he didn't want to take advantage of me while I was vulnerable.
So I took the initiative and kissed him.
The cool mint of his mouth made everything feel right inside of me. When he stopped kissing me I made a disappointed sound.
"Catelyn, you're hurt. In shock. We shouldn't."
"Ash, you have to learn. I make my own decisions. I know what's best for me. And I want you. I need you."
I stood, slipping off the blue dress I'd thought he'd gotten for me, and pulled off my bra and panties, exposing myself to him the way Cat had so many times in our imaginations. I reached for his hand, placing it on my bare breast.
He groaned, his pants showing a visible reaction to my body.
"Make me forget," I said. "Make me forget everything about tonight except this. Just for a few minutes. Just for right now, take me somewhere else."
He nodded and I helped him pull off his shirt as he discarded his jeans.
He explored my body with his hands and mouth, trailing promises across my flesh with tongue and teeth, gentle and demanding all at once. When he bent his head between my legs and slid his tongue into me, nothing in my imagination could have prepared me for the pure pleasure that pulsed through my body.
Everything truly disappeared from my mind, my physical and emotional pain vanishing as he worked my muscles into knots with his tongue and fingers, pushing me closer and closer to the point of no return.
When I came, I grabbed his head, pushing his tongue deeper into me and screaming his name as the spasms rocked me. Not all orgasms are created equal, I learned in that moment.
He gave me no time to recover as he moved his body over mine, trailing kisses up my abdomen and breasts until his cock rubbed against my wet pussy.
He pushed into me slowly at first, easing the massive girth of his cock in one inch at a time.
A dull ache formed, then a sharp pain as he pushed through my virginity, and then another wave of pleasure crashed over me as he rubbed my clit while thrusting himself in and out.
"Oh God, Catelyn, you're so tight." He looked close to coming and I needed more.
I reached for his ass, pulling him harder into me, my nails digging into him as I begged for him to go faster, harder, deeper. I wanted to feel him throughout my body, claiming me as his. His release rocked us both, and I came again, clutching him as I lost control.
He held me after, arms wrapped around me as his fingers ran through my hair. I'd given myself to him fully, but he still didn't know my secret. Guilt tickled my gut and kept me on the edge of sleep as I worried over how to tell Ash the truth.
I opened my mouth, ready to confess everything, when someone banged on our hotel door. "Police, open up!"
Chapter Thirty Three
Close Call
WE DRESSED QUICKLY and he noticed the stain of blood on the sheets. He looked at me, wide-eyed. "Did I hurt you? Did he hurt you?"
He looked ready to bring Lucky back to life just to kill him again. I shook my head. "It… it was my first time. I'm not hurt."
He stopped buckling his pants and then pulled me into another hug. "Oh, Catelyn. Why didn't you tell me? This should have been so much better for you. I could have made it so much better."
Tears stung my eyes. "It was perfect. You were perfect."
He kissed me deeply and wiped away a tear. "The next time will be magical, I promise."
I smiled and pulled on my jacket and heels, my heart practically jumping out of my chest at the knowledge that he wanted there to be a next time. It sunk when I realized he might not feel the same way after learning the truth about me.
We let the police in and our room became smaller as Detective Gray, his pot-bellied partner and a female officer filled the space.
Detective Gray looked at my wounds and frowned. "We have medics coming, but the weather is making it hard for everyone to get through. We found Lucky's body and everything was as Mr. Davenport described. I need you to tell me everything that happened."
I did, starting with the dress and note. When Ash heard that, he looked crushed.