“How?” I asked in horrified awe.
He rolled up his sleeves, exposing the brand on his inner wrist. “Dane has been marked since birth. He’s always belonged to me. But I never imagined it would come to this. It was fate.”
That’s why Dane’s brand looked different from the other Mixeds’. It wasn’t because he was branded as a newborn, it was because his mark was Coronado’s signet. The crow . . . wings outstretched.
“When he refused to hand you over, I was furious, but when I saw how much you cared for one another, how much you looked like Marie, I couldn’t resist his offer. It was worth the gamble. You were worth it.”
“Dane offered himself as your vessel to save me?” I whispered.
“We’ve all made sacrifices. I would’ve preferred to stay in my own body, but Katia wouldn’t let go of the past . . . of her vengeance. She left me no choice. My soul will always choose life. As will yours.”
My chin quivered as I attempted to hold in the tears, to hold in the rage I felt tearing at my heart. “I would never choose this life.”
“Never is a very long time,” he said softly.
Tears streamed down my face. Dane had said the same thing to me when Rhys left Quivira.
“You’re beginning to have doubts about hating us . . . Dane and me.” He crouched down in front of me. “I saw the look in your eyes when you first saw me in the corn. You feel something for me.”
“I can’t listen to any more of this.” I placed my trembling hands over my ears. I felt so confused, so heartbroken, I didn’t know what to do with myself.
“Come with me to Spain.”
“I need my brother, I need Rhys,” I whispered as I rocked back and forth.
“He’ll find you when he’s ready. It’s in both of our interests that he’s found.” His eyes narrowed. It was clear he felt threatened by Rhys in some way. “You belong with me . . . with Dane.” He brushed my hair back from my face and I flinched. “In time you may grow to love me, too.”
I felt sick. “I don’t love anyone.”
The slightest hint of a smile tugged on the corner of his mouth.
“Besides, you’re lying,” I said. “I know what it’s like to have another person’s soul inside of you. Dane is gone. There’s only darkness for the vessel.”
“That’s what Katia wanted you to see . . . to think . . . to feel. The world isn’t so black-and-white, Ashlyn.”
“Don’t call me that,” I spat.
He smiled more fully. The tiny dimple peeked out as if to taunt me, and it made me wonder. Was he in there? Could he see me? How could I still feel him if he were really gone?
“We all have good and evil in our blood, what we do with it is up to us.” He reached out to touch my face. Every cell in my body called out for him, wanting to lean into his touch, to feel his hand against my cheek once more, but I forced myself to pull away.
“Pride cometh before the fall, mi amor. Don’t let it keep you from happiness.”
He stood and started to walk away, but paused at the edge of the circle.
“Immortality can be lonely,” he said as he looked at me over his shoulder. “You’ll know where to find me. And I’ll always know where to find you.”
As he left the circle, I watched my mother’s ashes dance in the wake of his footsteps. And like those flecks of ash, I felt completely untethered from the world, set adrift in an open sea without a shore.
Lost.
Alone.
Irredeemable.
49
PROMISE
AS I WALKED BACK through the corn, I dragged my hands along the stalks, feeling none of the magic that once lived there.
I couldn’t feel Katia or Marie anymore.
I couldn’t feel my mother.
But I still felt Dane like a phantom limb.
Every step I took away from him only seemed to deepen the ache. I loved him and I hated him. Even whispering his name felt like fire and ice scraping against my lungs. And now I was bound to him for all eternity, a prisoner of my blood.
Even if I could forgive him for his betrayal, it wasn’t Dane anymore. Coronado had taken him over, body and soul. And yet, something of Dane remained. It made me question everything I thought I knew about the world . . . about myself. I reached my hand to my throat to feel the comfort of the black silk ribbon, but it had left me, too. It didn’t belong to me anymore. And neither did Dane.
I stepped through the perimeter, back inside Quivira. Beth was waiting along with the others. They looked at me expectantly, but I had nothing to offer.