“He’s a terrible man . . . I know this.”
“Dane is the one who’s been delivering the Larkins to Coronado all these years. He was supposed to deliver you to Coronado when you first came to Quivira, but he refused.”
“What are you talking about?” I looked at her like she was crazy. She was crazy. There was no other explanation. Why would she be saying this to me? What did she have to gain? I tried to pull away from her, but she only dug into my skin with more fervor.
“I was there, Ash. When Dane let go of you in the corn, he spoke with Coronado. They’ve known each other for years. Dane saw an opportunity at immortality and he took it, but he also saved your life.”
I didn’t want to believe it, but doubt quickly seeped inside of me, ripping me to shreds. The way Dane held out his hand on that first night, asking me to come with him into the corn, telling me we had to hurry, and the savage look on his face when we were interrupted. How he nearly led me right into Coronado’s arms the night of the bonfire, then changed his mind.
Rhys warned me over and over again and I didn’t listen.
I felt my world crumble. I wanted to burn down villages, cut out people’s beating hearts, and rip the stars down from the sky.
My entire body trembled as I turned to face him. I didn’t have to ask if it were true. I saw it in the deep flush creeping up the sides of his neck and the way he shifted his weight like he was getting ready to dodge a moving train. “You killed my family,” I said as I stalked toward him.
He held up his hands in front of him and tried to back up, but there was nowhere to go. “I . . . I was born into this, just as you were,” he tried to explain, his bright eyes clouded with tears.
“So, you knew all along I was the vessel,” I cried. “You lied to me. You manipulated me.”
Dane pulled me tightly to him; I writhed in his arms and tore myself away. “You were going to take me to Coronado, but you changed your mind. Why?”
“I was in love with you.” His voice caught in his throat. “I thought we could be together—”
“You knew I would blood bind to you. You saw a weakness in me and you took it. Because everyone knows the Larkin women are fools for love.”
“No, I . . . was . . . I couldn’t turn you over to him,” he said, his face contorted in agony. “I could never hurt you. Everything I did was to protect you.”
“Protect me?” I gasped. I looked back at Katia, hoping she’d smite him or something, but she was still lost in her own world of longing as she traced symbols in the dirt and chanted aloud.
“Ashlyn, please.” Dane sank to his knees before me. “I will spend the rest of eternity trying to make this up to you.”
“You have no eternity. Not with me.”
“We’re blood bound.”
“If you really loved me, you wouldn’t have taken me to him in the first place. You wouldn’t have lied to me. You would’ve found a way to let me go.” Looking out over the bloodstained crops, my eyes filled with tears. “I’d rather be dead than be bound to someone like you.”
I felt the shame, hurt, and despair within him and I didn’t want to feel that right now. I didn’t want to feel him at all. I wanted to open my veins and spill him from my soul.
Not knowing what else to do I lashed out at him in murderous rage, my fists swinging wildly.
“Enough!” Katia turned her attention on me and took control of my body—I felt my ribs cracking but I didn’t care. I wanted to feel anything other than this betrayal.
I collapsed to the ground in agony.
Dane moved toward me to help me to my feet while Katia raised her hands to the sky, summoning another terrible wind, which wrapped around Dane’s body in a howling vortex, pinning him in place. I didn’t know if it was to protect him, or me.
I dragged my body toward my mother. I’d never felt so raw, haggard, and pathetic. The tears wouldn’t stop flowing. My heart felt like a thousand-pound brick dragging in my hollow chest.
“It hurts, doesn’t it?” My mother’s eyes were dark and wild.
“Yes,” I answered through clenched teeth, glaring at Dane on the other side of the protective veil. Veins protruded from his neck as he tried to reach me, but it was futile, like trying to walk into a hurricane.
“There is a way out. But the pain has only begun,” my mother warned. “You’re going to feel like you can’t take another breath, like your heart can’t stand to beat another second. But in that suffering, you’ll find redemption, then freedom, and finally love. As much as it hurts, you must keep your heart open. That is the price you must pay.”
“I don’t understand.”