I set all the money I had in the tray and left. On my way to the hospital, I began to feel the strangeness of the situation. I felt painfully anxious as I drove his truck to the hospital, knowing I might have to meet his colleagues.
Once there, I quickly learned that they had life-flighted the man to Nate’s hospital in Missoula, which was almost three hours away, and Nate had gone with them. I got back into the truck and headed to Missoula. Halfway there, he finally called.
“Ava, I’m so sorry.”
“I’m driving there now.”
“Oh.”
He was silent for several moments, which made me feel like a complete idiot. “I thought maybe you would need your truck.”
“That’s sweet of you.”
“I can turn around.”
“No, it’s fine. I’ll see you when you get here.” He sounded distracted.
The gas gauge was almost on empty when I pulled into the hospital parking lot in Missoula. I called Nate from my phone but he didn’t answer. I left a voicemail and hung up, thinking I would see him rush out to the parking lot within minutes. I went to the front entrance but the doors were locked. I pressed my forehead to the locked glass doors, hoping someone would see me. I knocked loudly and waited and then knocked again and waited some more, but no one came. I got back into his truck and wrapped my sweater around my bare knees to stay warm. I scrolled through my contacts for Trish’s number just before my phone went dead. It got so cold in his truck that my teeth started chattering. I remembered being that cold once before. It was on a rock in a valley with my dog curled up next to me to keep me warm while I wondered if my husband was dying alone in a tent in the middle of nowhere.
I cursed myself for being so stupid to drive hours from home with no money, but I’d had no other options. Staring at the front entrance, I kept hoping to see one lone soul that I could persuade to open the doors for me so I could get to Nate. After at least an hour, I got out and decided to run to keep myself warm. I ran up one dark street while shivering, my arms braced around me. The hospital glowed from where I stood on the darkened street.
I searched for a pay phone to call Trish or Bea collect, but I found nothing until I was standing in front of St. Francis Xavier Church. It was eerie and dark, and the building’s stone steeple cast a long, intimidating shadow that swallowed the moonlight and left me enshrouded in even more darkness. I tried to open the door to the church, hoping to find some refuge, or maybe a priest who could help me make a phone call, but the door was locked. When I pounded on it, the echoes through the nave of the church frightened me.
Heading back toward the hospital, I found the emergency room entrance on the other side. I wished I had thought of it sooner; of course, it was open. Once inside, I saw children coughing, women moaning, and a man sleeping across two dingy chairs with stains on the vinyl cushions. I remembered not liking hospitals when Jake was recovering from his accident, but now I just felt compassion for everyone around me. I went to the reception window, where I was greeted less than enthusiastically by a young woman, probably around my age, wearing blue scrubs and round Harry Potter–like spectacles. Her hair was pulled back into a pristine ponytail. I looked at my hazy reflection for a moment in the glass. I was shivering and wearing a dress that fell above my knees, and I could just make out mascara smears from the cold wind, which had made my eyes water fiercely.
“Can I help you?”
“I’m here to see Dr. Meyers.”
“Excuse me?”
“I’m Dr. Meyers’s girlfriend.”