I was boneless and completely spent. “Do you want me to do that for you?” I spoke softly near his ear.
“No, baby. You need to sleep,” he said, and then he kissed my mouth. I could taste myself on him. For a moment I remembered what it felt like to be cherished. He trailed soft kisses to my ear. “You’re stunning, especially when you let go like that.” He ran his hand up my bare side, over my breast to my neck before kissing my lips again with such delicate ease. I decided that every man should be required to take an anatomy class before he’s allowed to go anywhere near a woman. Nate’s many years studying the human body were not lost on me.
Minutes after I slipped into bed, Nate shed his clothes except for his boxers and followed me under the covers. He scooted toward me on his side and rested his head on the pillow. We lay there face-to-face, a silver strand of moonlight through the window falling across us.
“I have to leave tomorrow.”
“I know.”
“You won’t come with me?”
I shook my head.
“Why?”
“I won’t fit in.”
“That’s not true.”
My eyes started to water. “I can’t.”
“Come here.” He pulled me into his chest, tucking my head under his neck. I felt tears streaming down my cheeks but I didn’t feel like I was crying—just my body. My mind was disconnected, exhausted.
“I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
I couldn’t understand why he would want to come back for me. I sniffled. “Okay.” I breathed in his scent and nuzzled as close as I could to him. If I could have crawled inside of his skin I would have.
My head was pounding when I woke up. I was alone. On the nightstand, Nate had left ibuprofen, water, and a note.
Ava, when I woke up this morning you were still curled up in my arms, looking beautiful and peaceful. I’m sorry I had to leave. I didn’t want to but we have to get on the road. Please call me when you get up. 310-555-4967. Nate.
I didn’t call him. Instead I went back to sleep for the rest of the day. I woke later to a knocking sound vibrating the walls of my cabin. I quickly yanked my jeans on, threw on a T-shirt, and went to the door. It was Bea, holding out a plate of food. “Caleb did all your chores today, including feeding your dog.”
Taking the food from her hands, I opened the door wide, inviting her in. “What time is it?”
“It’s past five. Why haven’t you been to the house yet?”
“For what?”
She sat at the table with me and watched as I ate the still-hot homemade chicken potpie. “Well, you still have a job, Avelina.”
“I know that, Bea.”
“Pistol’s been hanging with Caleb an awful lot. It looks like your dog’s found himself a new owner.”
I swallowed. “Caleb wants Pistol because he’s scared to be alone at night. He’s afraid of raccoons.” Bea’s face finally broke into a smile. “You know it’s funny, Bea. He’s the biggest scaredy-cat.”
She laughed and cocked her head to the side. “You seem to be handling things okay. You have some color in your cheeks this morning.”
“Dancer was getting old. I didn’t want to see her go that way but it’s just the way things happen sometimes.”
“Will you work with the filly to do the racing?”
I shrugged.
“We’re gonna head down to Bozeman on Saturday. Do you think you’d be up for it?”
“What, to watch Jake’s clone rope a steer?”
“I don’t know if he’s competing but you can’t let that stop you. You want to go to the rodeo, don’t you?”
“Sure I do,” I said in a low voice.
“Anyway, what about Nate? Maybe he’ll be back by then and we can all go together?”
“Nate’s not coming back.”
“Of course he is.”
“He’s a doctor in Los Angeles. What does he want with an uneducated shit-kicker like me?”
“Were my eyes playing tricks on me this morning when I came in here and found you stark-ass naked and curled up in that doctor’s arms?”
I suddenly felt terribly ashamed. “You were here?”
“I came in to get Nate. His father was ready to leave without him. Ava, I watched him lookin’ at you so lovingly. He kissed your forehead and whispered something to you. I don’t know much, but I sure as hell know a man in love when I see one.”
“Bea . . . I don’t think Nate is in love.” I swallowed and then looked down at my wedding ring. “I’m married,” I said, my voice shaky.
“No, honey, you’re not. Your vows were until death. Nathanial spent two hours in the rain last night with Dale burying Dancer down on the property so you would have a place to visit her.”
I stood from the table abruptly. “I’m going for a ride.”
“Dale doesn’t want you takin’ that filly out by yourself until she’s properly broken.”
“I’ll take Elite.”
“No!” she barked.
I grabbed her arms and bent low so I was face-to-face with her. “You have to let me work this out on my own. I don’t know how to feel or what I was doing with Nate last night. Everybody needs to give me some space to figure this out.”