“Good. Because I’m tired, kid.”
“Yeah? Of what?” I asked, wondering where she was going with this.
“I’m tired of seeing her in pain. I don’t want to be insensitive, but I’ve been wondering when she’s gonna get over Jake. And now this. She loved that horse so much. Had her since she was a kid.”
I turned the water off, reached for a towel, and stepped out. “I know, Bea. It was like they were connected. I don’t know what I’m going to say to her.”
She looked up at me and then down to where the towel was wrapped around my waist.
“Maybe try something other than words.”
My eyes shot open. “Bea! What are you saying?”
Laughing, she said, “It’s lookin’ like the ranch is doing you some good.” I had put on a couple of pounds since I had been there. They had me working every minute of the day, so most of it was muscle. I chuckled as I made my way past her and down the hallway. I went to my room and dressed in jeans, Chucks, and a pullover sweater. By the time I made it to Ava’s cabin the rain had stopped and she was asleep on the porch swing, wrapped in a blanket, like I had found her before. I watched her take steady breaths. I was uncertain if I should wake her or just carry her inside, but I knew I couldn’t leave her out there. She looked angelic in the low light. The skin on her face was perfectly smooth and she looked peaceful, even though I knew that wasn’t possible.
CHAPTER 11
Whiskey Says Go
Avelina
I was startled awake when I felt myself being lifted from the porch swing. My eyes shot open to see Nate looking down at me. I was cradled in his arms as he made his way into my cabin. “Hi, beautiful,” he whispered. “How are you feeling?”
“Drunk and sad,” I murmured.
“I know. How much of that bottle did you drink?”
“Not enough, apparently, because I’m still conscious.” He shook his head as he moved through my living room and into the bedroom. He set me down to stand on my feet. “Thank you.”
I wobbled so he braced me and then gently pushed me to sit on the edge of the bed. I looked down at my tattered quilt to where a section of the stitching had come undone. I slid my hand over the spot to cover it so Nate wouldn’t see it but when I looked up he was wearing a pitying smile.
He shook his head. “Don’t be ashamed. You should see my apartment. I don’t even have curtains.”
I managed a weak laugh.
“There’s that sound.”
I stopped immediately when I suddenly felt a shock of pain for Dancer. “Why? Why did that have to happen today?”
He shook his head. “I’m so sorry.”
“I was riding her fine, not even hard, around the barrels. She just stepped wrong.”
He got very serious and took my face in his hands. “You know this isn’t your fault. You have to stop blaming yourself for these things.”
“These things?” I scowled. “You mean everyone I love dropping like flies all around me? You should run far and fast from me. Why are you even here?”
He crossed his arms over his chest. “Because I care about you.”
“You barely know me.” I looked pointedly at him.
“I know you enough. I’d like to get to know you better. And like I said, I care about you.”
“You feel sorry for me.”
“No.” He shook his head. “Don’t insult me and don’t insult yourself.”
“Look at you.” I waved my hand toward his finely muscled body. “And you’re a doctor. You’d have no problem finding someone.”
“You’re someone, and I’m having a hell of a hard time.”
I laughed but quickly looked away shamefully. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t take this out on you.”
“Don’t apologize.” He knelt in front of me and reached for my boots. Slipping them off he said, “Do you want a bath?” I nodded. He got up and went into the bathroom, then I heard the water go on. I stood but swayed, and he came rushing toward me. “Let me help you, Ava.” He led me into the bathroom and reached for the bottom of my T-shirt. “Arms up.” I lifted them as he pulled my shirt off. I unbuckled my belt, pushed my jeans down to my ankles, and stepped out as he held my hand. The tub was filling quickly with steaming water and bubbles. “I can turn around.”
“Okay.” He turned and faced the door. I unclasped my bra and slid my panties down. I stepped into the bathtub and sank into the warm, heavenly water.
“Are you in?”
“Yes.” I was hidden under the bubbles and drunk so there was little left to be self-conscious about.
He sat on the edge of the tub with his back toward me. “Are you going to be okay?”
“You can leave if you want.”
“I’m not leaving. I meant are you okay emotionally.”
“Oh. Well, do I have a choice? I’m being punished for something. I should just shut up and take it.”
“Why didn’t you let Dale try to help Dancer?”
“Because he wouldn’t have been able to. I’ve seen it a hundred times. I couldn’t watch her suffer; I’ve done that before. Will you get me the bottle?”