She tamped that bitch back down where it belonged with all the other warnings and fairly skipped the remainder of the way to the hand—because it held the fruit of the gods.
The moment she reached for the cup, a full body appeared, popping out from behind the tree. The torso belonging to the body had on a pink jacket just like the one she was forced to wear at the outlet mall.
Toni snatched her hand away and looked upward.
“Bree?” Wait. Why did Bree sound like Anthony?
Worse, had she followed them down that crazy rabbit hole, too? Leave it to her to screw up a perfectly legit free pass from that hellhole by showing up just so Bree could hound her about improperly folding the new batch of winter scarves—in another realm, no less.
Goddammit.
Maybe Bree could take the shoes to the castle. If anyone needed some happiness in her life, it was shallow, self-centered Bree. Where was Brenda when you needed her pearls and life lessons?
Toni stopped dead in her tracks, forcing the hand that desperately wanted to snatch that coffee cup away to her side. “Bree? What are you doing here? How did you get here?”
Bree smiled her aggravatingly phony smile and straightened the hem of her jacket with her fingers. “The same way you did. I was going along, minding my business on my coffee break and checking the dressing rooms for leftover clothes from the customers, and wham! I fell down that hole just like you and those other ladies and the creepy kid did. Where are we, Toni?” she asked, her eyes wide, her lower lip trembling.
Bree’s shivering got the best of her softer side. She yanked off her pelt and wrapped it around Bree’s slender shoulders. “We’re in Shamalot. It’s a long story best told by the people who live here. I bet Brenda’s going to be here any second to give you your job and read your aura—or however that works. Suffice it to say, you’re going to have to do something you probably won’t want to do.”
Toni hoped that involved folding millions of stupid scarves with the folded edge facing outside.
“Like what?” Bree asked, giving her Thumper eyes as she pulled the pelt over her nose to warm its red, pert tip.
“I don’t know. But if it sucks as much as my job, you’re in for a real treat.”
“I’m sorry I was so mean to you, Toni. But I’m really scared. Please take me with you. I’ll share my coffee if you do.”
And again, Toni heard warning bells. When had Bree ever spoken to her as though she was anything more than her peon? Never. That’s when. But those bells weren’t loud enough to talk her out of a cup of steaming paradise.
Once more, Toni reached for the coffee, her frozen hands grateful for the warmth of the paper cup. Bree was just a kid. How could she say no to her when Toni had people helping her and Bree had no one? “That’s really nice of you, Bree. Thanks.”
Putting the tips of her fingers under the cup, she encouraged, “Drink up, Toni. It’s freezing here. Much colder than Chersey.”
Just as the tab opening was positioned at her mouth, Toni paused and frowned. Chersey? She moved the cup from her lips and looked hard at Bree. Really hard. Maybe she’d just heard her wrong?
So she decided to test her. “Shamalot’s nothing like Chersey.”
Bree nodded her blonde head, the curls as bouncy as ever. “So I see.”
Damn. Damn. Damn. This wasn’t Bree. Which was crazy and creepy, but likely no less nutty than the fact that Nina was a vampire and Marty was a werewolf and she was in a magical kingdom. But, dear God, why couldn’t the warning bells have been about anything else but the coffee?
Just as she was about to confront faux Bree, Jon’s big frame flew into view and he roared, “Drop that, milady!”
All Toni saw was the shiny blade of his sword as he sliced it through the air and knocked the cup from her hand. Landing in front of her, he pushed her behind him in a protective manner and demanded, “Reveal yourself or feel the sharp tip of my sword through your gullet! Who sent you, miscreant?”
Goosebumps swept along her arms. Wow, he was dreamy. Chivalrous to a fault, handsome, hot. Just his hand at her waist was enough to steal her breath. And she’d love to linger and enjoy his chivalry.
But something strange was going on.
Toni’s feet began to tingle and twitch in her shoes. Suddenly, her feet didn’t hurt quite the way they had as they’d walked through the forest in the cold snow, with her toes mashed together in shoes that were like medieval torture devices.
No, in fact, they felt like a part of her, as if they were made specifically for her feet. They were no longer clunky and awkward…almost as if they weren’t there at all.
She was so busy focusing on her feet, she almost forgot Jon and Bree.
“Who sent you? Answer me or die!” Jon demanded once more, waving the sword under Bree’s nose, its sharp tip poised at her nostril.
Faux Bree didn’t appear to like that at all. She wrinkled her nose before she pushed the sword out of the way with a forefinger—and then began to melt right before their eyes.