He twirled his finger in the air around his head with an impish grin that made Toni melt. “The wings are a dead giveaway, but if not for them, then the hair. It’s all about the very large hair.”
“Okay, everyone just stop!” Wanda ordered, hiking up her skirts and squaring her shoulders. “We’re getting nowhere like this. Obviously, the realm or whatever wants us to take Toni to the castle and leaving isn’t an option. Now, it’s not like we’re strangers to an odd crisis or…what is it, now…eleven crises? We’re just not usually a party to them in quite this way. That said, we’re going to do what we do on every other case we’ve ever had—help the client. So buckle up, biotches, quit complaining, and let’s get Toni to the castle.”
The client? Cases? Toni held up a frozen red hand. “Well, hold on. Who says Brenda’s the final word on what’s what? Again I ask, what if I don’t want to go to the castle?”
“What if I drag you and your boogie shoes the entire way?”
Jon stepped between Nina and Toni, his hand going to his hip, where a silver sword sat. “I cannot allow you to harm the fair maiden.”
Nina snorted in Jon’s face and looked up at him, her eyes gleaming as she yanked her sunglasses off. “Here’s the score, Pretty Boy, no one tells me what’s allowed.”
Jon placed a hand at Toni’s waist and pushed her behind him. “I warn you, milady, I’m trained in the art of the sword. You do not want to do battle with me.”
Nina rocked back on her heels with a sly smile. “Oh really? Well, I’m trained in the art of carnage, buddy. You don’t want to see your innards wrapped around a tree, do you?”
Jon lifted his chin, the glimpse she caught of his eyes as she tried to get between them dark and stormy. “That would be heartily unpleasant, but no woman has come to harm while on my watch, and none ever will.”
Toni removed Jon’s hand from her waist—and if she were honest, reluctantly so—then stepped between he and Nina. “Look, this is my fault. I did this to all of us, I’ll fix it. You three and Carl go on about your business, and I’ll find my way to the castle myself. I’m no stranger to hoofing it alone.”
Wanda yanked a glove off and tapped Nina in the head with it. “She most certainly will not. This was an accident, Nina. You know, that thing we specialize in? Besides, you heard what Brenda said—it has to be us who takes her to the castle in order for us to all leave, and besides that, when was the last time we abandoned someone in their hour of need? Never. That’s when. Now you take Carl and go scout us out a place to stay for the night. Marty can find us some wheels; I’ll look for the nearest food court. We ride at dawn!”
Jon held up a broad hand tipped with lean, sun-browned fingers. “I can provide you with all those things, if you’ll allow me. And I can certainly be your guide to Castle Beckett.”
“You know the way to the castle?” Marty asked. “Smart and delicious. Phew. Ice pack, please!” she chirped on a giddy chuckle, her wings picking up their thumping pace.
“If you’ll all follow me through the woods, I’d be happy to shelter you for the night and we’ll begin our journey in the morning, yes?”
Nina stopped him with a flat palm to his shoulder. “What’s the going rate for shelter ’round Fairyland, Jon Doe?”
“Rate?” he asked, his gorgeous face confused.
Nina rubbed her fingers together. “Yeah, you know, like sheckles or rupies or a cow, or whatever the fuck it is you Robin Hoods want as a fee for using your facilities. Name your price, because I’m not going anywhere with you until we have some clear rules.”
Jon’s face went from confused to horrified in seconds. “I would never require a single pence as compensation for sheltering members of the League of Fairy Godmothers. It’s against the rules of the realm and punishable by death.”
“Oh, thank God,” Marty murmured, her body visibly relaxing. “Because I have no idea where my purse is. Not to mention my cell phone. How are we going to call the boys and tell them we won’t be home for dinner, Wanda?”
Jon turned to look down at them all, ignoring Marty’s chatter. “Are we in agreement?”
Nina eyed him for a brief, uncomfortable moment before she said, “I’m givin’ you fair warning, buddy. One wrong move, one shady shift of your eyes, and I’ll kill you. You won’t have time to use your sword if your Motel Six turns out to be Motel Hell. Got it?”
“What is a Motel Six?”
Jeez, he was cute when he was confused.
Wanda rolled her eyes and patted Jon’s arm. “Ignore her and just take us somewhere warm, please.”
But Jon didn’t budge. He placed a hand over his heart. “I would never soil my reputation. Rest assured, you’re safe with me. Now, shall we?”
He gallantly held out his arm to Toni who took it with little reluctance. She was damn cold and her feet were like blocks of ice. The sun had set, casting a purple haze over the clearing in the village, making her shiver again. She almost didn’t care if they stayed in a pup tent.