“Nope. He stayed throughout the surgery and I think he’s still in the hospital somewhere,” Laney says.
“Why would he do that?” I wonder out loud.
Lauren answers this time. “Beats the hell out of all of us.”
“Now everyone, maybe we should treat him a little better,” my mom, the quintessential peacemaker says. “We don’t know what he’s been through.”
Laney looks at her like she’s lost every last marble in her head. “What he’s been through? What about your daughter? Hasn’t she been through enough?”
“Laney, don’t use that tone with your mother,” Dad says.
“Hey, let’s not talk about this or He Who Shouldn’t Be Named in my room. And Laney, dump those flowers in the trash or give them to the nurses. I don’t want them in this room.”
“You got it, sis.”
Mom scowls and Dad smiles. I have a feeling that Dad is on the Ben haters list too. We haven’t talked about it, but I’m sure he’s caught enough of our conversations to know that he hurt me terribly and since I’m a Daddy’s girl, that’s a huge no-no in his book.
Two days later, my surgeon signs my discharge papers and I’m getting ready to go home. Mom and Laney are taking me. Two more gigantic bouquets of flowers have arrived from Ben, but I had the lady take them directly to the nurses’ station after I read the cards. I want nothing more to do with him. He made it very clear that his journey with me was finite, so I’m doing everything possible to prove to myself there’s no road to travel with him.
The nurse enters my room with a wheelchair.
“Oh, I’m fine to walk,” I say.
She laughs. “Everyone says that. It’s hospital policy. Unfortunately, you don’t have a choice. It’s ride or stay.”
Even though my brows shoot up, I have a seat. Laney says she’ll get the car and pull it around the front to the patient loading zone. Mom walks with the nurse and me, and we ride the elevator down to the main lobby. When we exit, we’re walking past a waiting area and that’s when I see him.
He’s disheveled, wearing the same clothes he was the day I came in for surgery, and he resembles a homeless man. His beard is filled in and his hair—well, it looks completely unkempt, just like the rest of him. Ben Rhoades is truly a mess, as he stares at me with those steel gray eyes, pleading for what? Mercy? A chance to speak and say what? Another opportunity to rip my soul out? He can’t damage my heart anymore, because I don’t have one. He burned it to ashes when I left his house the last time we were together.
I look away as my chair rolls on by, straight for the entrance where I glimpse Laney’s car through the sliding doors. Just let me make it there before the tears hit. Because as much as I want to deny it, he’s still a part of me, infused in my soul. He’s wrapped around my beating heart—the heart I try to tell myself doesn’t exist.
A brief thank you to the nurse is all I can stammer out before the sobs rupture from me.
“What’s wrong? What happened?” Laney asks.
“Just drive.” In thirty seconds, I’ve gone from a smiling, cancer-free patient to a blubbering wreck all because of a pair of beautiful gray eyes and a tangled mop of dark brown hair.
Mom tries to hold my hand, but I need it to constantly swipe my face. When she crams a pile of tissues in my hand, I cough out my thanks between sobs. How can I explain what’s going on to the question in her concerned expression? My house isn’t but a short drive from the hospital so we pull in the driveway and I do my best to compose myself. When I hear my sister yelling, I get out of the car to see Ben pulling in behind us. I have to give him an “A” for persistence. But damn it, why can’t he leave me the hell alone? I don’t need this shitshow right now.
“Get the hell out of here, Rhoades,” Laney shouts. “Haven’t you done enough damage to her already?”
“Yes, I have. But I want to make amends and prove to her I’m …”
“You’re what? A piece of shit intent on destroying what’s left of her?”
“No! I …” He tries to say, but my sister cuts him off.
“Shut up and get the hell out of here.”
“Laney, please.” Mom is shaken up. It may be time to step in.
“Laney …” I begin.
“Samantha, go inside with Mom. Now.”
“Samantha, please. I need to speak with you.” His voice is raw with emotion.
Laney steps between us. “Rhoades, if you so much as say one more word to her, I’m calling the police and taking out a restraining order. You’re harassing her and stalking her. Now get off the property.”
He holds his hands in the air, palms facing us, and slowly backs away with sagging posture. I can see it’s the last thing he wants to do, but I have to side with Laney on this. She only wants to protect me, and he did the perfect job of shattering me and is bringing me to tears again.