“Is it? Or is this about the fact I’m human?” I tried to honor his rules on that respectful tone. It wasn’t easy.
His brows knitted together. “Serena, if you have magic, I want you to use it.”
“How? We’re not allowed to use magic during sparring or the trials.”
“That’s not true,” he corrected. “We’re allowing magic in some of the trials, and as for the rest of it,” he gestured behind him to the sandpit, “you can’t use offensive magic, but what you did that night—it was like you used the magic on yourself. That’s not against the rules.”
“Oh.” I tucked that bit of information away. A flicker of fear and maybe a smudge of relief uncurled in my chest. If he thought magic was the only explanation, then the voice and the necklace might not be a spell of madness. I wanted to tell him; I wanted answers. But what if he betrayed me? Took the necklace away?
“You must know that whatever you say will stay between us … you can trust me to be discreet,” Wilder muttered.
I squirmed. Just like Liora—able to see into me. Of course there was always the option of a half-truth. In a whisper, I recounted my experiences with the stranger’s voice, leaving out the necklace.
If he was shocked, he didn’t show it. “You think she gave you the strength to fight me?”
I nodded once.
He looked lost in thought as he added, “Do you know where this voice is coming from?”
“It’s difficult to tell.” Truth or lie, I wasn’t sure.
“If you don’t think the magic comes from you, and its lending you strength, then there should be a conduit.” His mouth turned down. “When you first heard this voice, did you start wearing anything? Were you given something?”
My mouth popped open a touch. Gods.
A knowing smile stretched across his face. “There is something, then.”
It’s all right, Serena. Trust your instincts.
My muscles contracted but something loosened in my core. I decided then and there to stop calling her just a voice. If this was magic—if this was real—she couldn’t be nameless.
She hummed as if content with my choice. For one mad moment I considered Viola, but it felt wrong. I went with Auntie. It was what the youth in my village would often call female elders. I’d never used it with Viola—she’d told me it was too formal—but it seemed fitting for this ghost inside my mind. The humming grew louder. She sounded pleased.
“Are you going to tell me, or …” Wilder trailed off.
For once, he looked less than sure of himself.
Decision made, I reached up to my throat and pulled the necklace out from under my jacket. Caressing the droplet, hiding it from outside view, I said, “I think it’s been coming from this. It’s been giving off odd bursts of heat, and the voice only appeared after I started wearing it.”
His hand went to my neck and stopped, hovering. His eyes found mine and silently asked permission. I gave a nod. He picked up the hollow bead and stared and stared. “Who gave it to you?”
“Viola, a friend from my village.” Grief twisted in my gut, but I was used to that by now. I’d always miss John and Viola. “But she just passed it on. It belonged to my mother’s family, originally.”
No point adding in the rest. Too many painful memories.
Wilder looked intent on asking another question, but I must’ve imagined it. “Well, I can’t sense anything, but I’m glad you told me.”
“Oh?”
“The trials are tough. It’s good to know you’ve got something watching over you.” He released the necklace and stepped away. The sudden loss of his heat and scent was like being plunged headfirst into ice water. And a desire to keep him close tugged at me. I drew a ragged breath, clearing my nostrils of musk and sweat and earthy pine.
“Remember what I said about the water. And tomorrow, line your stomach but don’t overdo it. Now, go.” He inclined his head toward the gate. “Be with your friends.”
He turned, his wings flaring. And I stupidly blurted out, “You could join us.”
Wilder pivoted slowly back around. Seeing the deep creases marking his face, I backtracked. “Never mind. I get it—no socializing with the underlings.”
I walked away before he could spot the flush burning my cheeks. I’d made it halfway to the gate when I thought I heard him say, “Thanks anyway.”
I wasn’t sure what to make of it.
Chapter 13
Endure
The next morning Cai, Liora, and I left the food hall to head to the outskirts of camp. We’d found the hall packed with pre-trial nerves. Recruits had either hunched up to whisper to one another, or they’d sat staring into nothingness as their food went cold. Not a welcoming sight.
Now, we hit the dirt path and Cai took the lead with his loping stride. “Good day for it,” he observed, staring up at the bright sky. “Not too cold, not too hot.”
Liora mumbled in vague agreement.
My sugary breakfast and accompanying glassfuls of water churned in my gut. We’d heard from the other recruits that an obstacle course had gone up overnight. There were other rumors, even more troubling. “D’you think they’ve really built a wall of fire?”
Liora’s sun-touched, freckled face had faded to a parchment-white. “We’re about to find out.”
“We’ll be fine,” Cai said bracingly. “Apart from maybe pissing ourselves. I’m already regretting taking Wilder’s advice.”
I attempted a weak smile. He wasn’t wrong. I almost regretted repeating his words about staying hydrated. I’d also made sure to tell Adrianna. She hadn’t bothered to thank me.
After passing through the training ring, we skirted around the stables and got our first glimpse of the gate. The double doors were flung open to reveal a vast expanse of meadow with forest beyond. Cai stumbled, coming to a halt. Liora let out a little gasp as we settled at his side.
A section of the grassland had been transformed into a looping obstacle course. There were four wooden barriers, two fifteen-foot ladders, a planked wall, and twin airborne platforms with lines of rope suspended between them. The wall of fire rumor proved true, and the next obstacle was a tightrope suspended over a water trench. How thoughtful. A chuckle edged with pulse-pounding fear burst from me. “At least if we’re set on fire, it won’t be for long.”
Cai squared his shoulders. “We’ll be fine. Come on.”
We moved through the gate and joined the growing crowd of recruits. As the full glory of the course hit me, I almost kneeled and wept. Flour sacks and cut logs also lay nearby, no doubt another form of torture.
Cai rose onto his tiptoes to scan the crowd. “No sign of the instructors.”
“So, how long do you think you’ll last, Stick?”
Tysion’s voice compelled me to wheel around. “Do me a favor, will you?” he said, emanating smugness. “Hold out until someone else quits. I placed a bet that you’d be the second.”
I arranged my features into an unfeeling mask. “How nice. I didn’t know you believed in me that much.”
“Oh, I don’t. I can make more money if you’re the second to drop out, because nearly every recruit thinks you’ll be the first.” He flashed his teeth in amusement, and added, “Courts, I saw Cai with Hamish only yesterday. Why don’t we ask him what bet he placed?”
The bottom dropped out of my stomach.
Cai snarled, “You bastard. I’d sooner cut off my own arm than bet against a friend. Not that I’d expect you or your dim-witted grunts to understand that.”
Cole and Dustin instantly flew to Tysion’s side, cracking their knuckles and staring daggers. A few heads swiveled toward us but only in passing. No one cared much about some spat between recruits. It happened too often. Frazer, however, wasn’t among that group. As our eyes met, a crease etched between his brows. The most concern he’d shown, well, ever.
“Why not insult us again and see what happens?” Dustin’s eyes guttered with shadow.
Cai looked ready to start throwing punches. Liora gripped his arm tightly. “We haven’t got time for this. Come on.” She grasped my hand and pulled us both away.
Tysion called after us. “By the way, Liora, you’re one of the favorites to fail too.”