I was ice and fire. “I’m aware.”
Cai coughed awkwardly. “His decision to come with us to the lake places you in a difficult position.” He nodded to me, adding, “You’d have to tell him about your magic and your fae heritage. Are you ready for that?”
I shrugged. “I’m more upset about putting someone else in danger. Especially when I know he’ll be safer on his own than with us.”
“Soon to become Morgan’s most wanted,” Cai said with a muted chuckle.
Not missing a beat, Liora quipped, “How thrilling.”
They shared identical grins. An unaffected connection, as easy as breathing, and born from years growing up together.
I envied it. Looking over at Frazer’s veiled gaze made my chest splinter. We’d yet to learn how to navigate all the bumps and kinks. Then, he was there, projecting. We have lifetimes to figure it out.
A dark mood blanketed me. We hope.
Adrianna took a step forward, pulling all our focus to her as she pressed me. “You get why I’d be suspicious? Because even putting aside his history, he was willing to take you back to his private quarters today.”
My silence was my answer.
Liora was there, speaking for me. “What’s that got to do with anything?”
Despite their recent tension, Frazer answered for Adrianna. “Dimitri had just finished warning Serena away from him. What would he have done if he’d caught her leaving his place?”
A heavy listlessness settled into my soul. To think, not long ago I’d been floating on air.
But my pack deserved whatever reassurance I could give. “He knew Dimitri might be a problem. That’s why he made me leave through his window.”
“The window?” Adrianna cocked an eyebrow.
I faced her. “Apparently it’s enchanted glass, so you can’t see their quarters from the outside.”
Adrianna and Frazer stiffened at this.
Adrianna muttered, “And I’m guessing they’ve used that trick on the other instructors’ rooms too?”
“I suppose so …” She lit up with a telling smirk, and something clicked into place. “You want to use that to break in and steal something else?”
She replied with a little nod of acknowledgement.
Cai braced his elbows on his thighs and placed his hands in the steeple position, adding, “Good idea. I think I might try to steal from Mikael. He’s just as tough as Cecile, but not half as nice.”
Adrianna looked down at him with a bemused expression. “What does it matter how nice they are? It’s not like we keep the items.”
Cai grinned like a cat that’s had cream for its supper. “Cecile told me to apply to train as a Sabu Warrior in a few years. They hardly ever take humans on, but she seemed to think I had a chance. I doubt I’ll ever be able to apply, but I’d feel like I was being disloyal if I stole from her now.”
I could’ve sworn Adrianna looked impressed.
Liora chirped, “Well, whoever you decide on, you three better hurry up. Because right now, you’re choking on our dust.” She gave me a playful nudge with her knee.
Cai was already there with a comeback. “Thanks for the reminder, sis. Apologies if we’re not satisfied with an instructor literally handing us the trial.”
That got my blood heating, but Liora just flashed her teeth. “Don’t you think we’ve got more important things going on? Pride shouldn’t come into it.”
Cai response was to lean back on the bed and stretch his legs. As cocky and careless as ever.
Frazer straightened and twisted toward Adrianna. “On that note, can I have the teaspoon you took?”
Her eyebrows rose. “You don’t want to take something yourself?” she asked, incredulous.
A nonchalant shrug was his answer. “Not particularly. I take no pleasure in sneaking and thieving.”
That was that. Cai frowned a little, but Adrianna barely reacted. Instead, she went to the pack on her bed, pulled out the teeny spoon, and tossed it over. Frazer twirled it between fingers, his eyes drifting to mine. “Are you going to be seeing him before you both leave?”
I shook my head, waiting for it.
“Good. Because I don’t trust him.”
There it was.
Adrianna cut in. “Me neither. At least not yet.”
“Moons,” Cai muttered under his breath, staring up at the ceiling. “This’ll make for a cheery journey to Ewa.”
Liora turned to me, her eyes shining. “Well, I’m glad a Warrior fae with centuries of experience is looking out for Serena—for all of us.”
I felt sure it’d been said for my benefit, so I mouthed, “thanks,” at the precise moment Cai clapped his hands. No one saw her smile back at me and nod in acknowledgment.
Cai stood. “All right! Enough suspicion for one day. Time for food.”
“Do you ever think of anything else?” Adrianna asked, somewhere between amusement and contempt.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?”
Cai beamed with his best roguish grin. Adrianna dismissed him with a mock groan of anguish and turned on her heel, leading the way to the food hall. I was the only one to catch the blip of disappointment crossing his face.
My hand reached out for him as the others moved away. “I always get the best sweet buns with you next to me.”
Cai’s grin returned. “What can I say? I’m irresistible.”
But the joke sounded hollow to my ears.
We clasped hands, and as we moved outside, he squeezed mine ever so slightly. Maybe he knew I’d seen through his mask, or perhaps it meant nothing. I still squeezed back.
We were the same: both lusting after fae that seemed so far above and beyond that they were as cold and as distant as the stars. Sometimes, you just needed a hand to hold through the dark. I got that.
I stepped outside three days later to be greeted by a coral-tinted sky, billowing clouds, and a crisp breeze that chilled my cheeks and made me glad I’d taken steps to guard against the cold, despite the season. Wrapped up in a cloak and gloves, I breathed in deep, filling my lungs with the first whiff of a fragrant summer.
I hitched my rucksack higher and checked my belt and blade. The instructors had given permission for the recruits to sharpen their weapons, so my Utem?’s fire could burn bright again. We’d had consent during other trials, but this felt different. We were all going our separate ways, and that keen edge felt like a turning point; a new and more dangerous era.
Adrianna moved to my shoulder. “Ready?”
Frazer had insisted she be the one to deliver me to Wilder, given that she had wings.
Of course, I’d wanted him to take me. A brief and bitter argument had ensued. Frazer had won.
My heart squeezed.
I sought out the bond, purely for comfort. I’d already said goodbye. Although, since Cai, Liora, and Frazer were setting out later, our farewell had been naught but two sleepy “Good lucks,” and a “Be careful.”
Stamping down on rising sadness, I gave Adrianna the all clear. She hoisted me up and ran forward into what now was a familiar pattern. We soared, banking and circling the camp. As I stared down at the building that contained our sleeping friends, my stomach tumbled. “D’you think they’ll be okay?”
Adrianna was silent as she set a direction for the forest ahead. Then she said, “I doubt any of us will have it easy. Phoenixes, nightshade, and white tigers. Navvi sprites—even the dragon’s fire. Liora only has to chip some rock off a cliff face, but there’s still the journey there and back to consider.”
She released a little sigh.
I really should’ve known better than to ask. My throat stuck, thinking about the friends—the kin—that’d be putting themselves in danger. All for a spell to save me.
Adrianna looked down. She must’ve noted my silence because, unusually for her, she spoke gently. “The trials weren’t designed to be easy, but we’ve faced down a korgan and an eerie. We’ll get through this too.”
I returned her weak smile and looked toward the looming forest. She’d meant well, but her words hadn’t stopped the guilt from churning. We kept the silence until Adrianna landed just inside the tree line. She let me down and asked, “What now?”