Her hand grasped his shoulder. “Talk to me. Don’t you sit there and give me one-word answers. Why is she going downhill?”
He twisted around to look at her. “Why?” His eyes were glowing fiercely in his taut face. “Because of me. Because that’s where she wants to go. Because she’s afraid of what I’m doing.”
“Then do something to change it.”
“Do you think I’m not trying? No one knows better than you how stubborn Jane can be. Well, she’s made up her mind, and she won’t let go of him.”
Her fingers dug into his shoulder. “Trevor?”
“Who else? I’ve been trying to offer substitutes. She loves her dog, her work as an artist, the beauty of the world around her. It’s all important to her, but it’s not enough.” He got to his feet. “I’m glad you’re here. I was going to come and get you anyway. It was time I brought in the big guns.”
“And that’s what I’m supposed to be?”
“You know you are. She loves you, she respects you, she’ll listen to you.”
“She’s in a coma. I wasn’t even sure that she was aware I was talking to her.”
“She’s aware. She was just shutting you out. She tried to do the same thing to me, but I wouldn’t let her. So she started to go down deeper.” He pushed her down into the chair he’d just vacated. “It’s over to you now. I brought her halfway back. You keep her on the right track and away from Trevor.”
“It sounds easy,” she said bitterly.
“Easier than letting her go.” His eyes were suddenly blazing. “Do you know how hard it is for me to leave her now? I want to do it all. But she won’t let me that close to her.” He turned on his heel. “So you do it, and I’ll reach out as much as I can. Get busy.”
Get busy.
It was an order she’d be glad to obey if she only knew how to start.
The only way to begin was to start in the beginning.
And hope that Caleb’s certainty that Jane could hear her was right.
She took Jane’s hand. “Caleb says that you can hear me and are just pretending and shutting me out. If you are, it’s because you’re confused. You wouldn’t deceive me. We’ve always been honest with each other. Or have we? You told me that it was fine that we were best friends, and you didn’t want to replace Bonnie as my daughter. Was it true? You’d been through so much growing up on the streets that I thought your defenses were too high for any other relationship. Hey, I was wounded and damaged, too. Maybe I accepted what you said because of that. I hope not. I was an adult, and you were a child. It was my job to give you whatever you needed.” She leaned back in the chair, her mind going back to those years of watching Jane grow and change and become a woman. “But how I loved you. I realized how special you were, and you filled Joe’s and my lives with joy. Can you feel that love, Jane? It’s still there and as powerful as ever. I love you so much that I’d let you go if I thought it was best for you. But it’s not best; you have so many things to do, so many loves to know. And even after all these years, we still have so much to learn about each other. You have to stay with me, and I’ll watch you and love you, and maybe we’ll come to understand why we were meant to be together. Okay?” She drew a shaky breath. “Are you saying yes? It’s very hard to know without your opening your eyes and smiling at me. I really wish you would do that.” Her hand tightened on Jane’s. “Not ready yet? Then let’s talk about Trevor. Caleb says that you want to be with him. Understandable. You’ve loved him since you were only seventeen. I remember you came back from Scotland and told me how dizzy he made you. You were young and not sure if it was anything deeper. We were sitting on the porch and looking out at the lake. And we talked about velvet nights, which was sex, then silver mornings, which might mean something deeper. I know you remember that night because we’ve talked about it since then, and it was important to you, too. But you realized something else as we talked about it, didn’t you? Remember, Jane?”
*
Silver mornings … Eve put her cup down on the railing and sat down on the step beside Jane. “A relationship that changed the way you see everything?” She put her arm around Jane. “Fresh and clean and bright in a dark world. May you find that someday, Jane.”
“I already have them.” She smiled at Eve. “You give one to me every day. When I’m down, you bring me up. When I’m confused, you make everything clear. When I think there’s no love in the world, I remember the years you gave me.” She leaned her head contentedly back on Eve’s shoulder. “Silver mornings aren’t restricted to lovers. They can come from mothers, fathers, sisters, and brothers, good friends … They can all change how you see your world, too.”
“Yes, they can.”
They sat in silence for a long time, gazing out at the lake in contentment. Finally, Eve sighed. “I suppose we should go in.”
Jane smiled. “Hell, let’s not go to bed. Let’s wait for the dawn and see if it comes up silver.”
*
“I’ll always remember your smile that night,” Eve said unsteadily. “It lit up your face, and it lit up my life. Because I knew that no matter what happened between you and Trevor, the love between us was going to go on. And when later you realized that Trevor was the silver morning that you wanted to fill your life, I rejoiced. When he was killed, I mourned.”
“But I think you forgot that there are other silver mornings, and now you have to remember that night on the porch. Let me help you remember. Open your eyes. Come back to me.”
Jane didn’t move.
She repeated unsteadily, “Dammit, you come back to me.”
*
Hold on, Eve. She’s so close to you. She’s almost there.
Caleb’s gaze was zeroed in on Jane’s face from where he stood outside the ICU.
He could feel the emotion Jane was experiencing. He’d been right to send Eve to do what he could not do. God, he’d wanted to be able to bring her back on his own.
But Jane was slipping back again.
“No!”