“You may change your mind when you meet him. I taught his father, Fleabert Senior. The man was, and still is, a colossal pain in the bum.”
“Right, thanks for the heads-up.”
“I must be making tracks.” She put down her cup. “I need to do an inventory of the skipping ropes before next week’s inter-house sports competition. I assume you’ll be attending?”
“I’d love to but I’m going to be rather busy on that day.”
“What could possibly be more important than the inter-house sports competition?”
“I get married the next day.”
“Really? Congratulations. I suppose I’m the last to hear; I usually am. I guess that does take priority over our little competition.” She smiled.
I finished off the muffin and was considering helping myself to a second one when someone grabbed me by the arm.
“Have you heard the rumour, Jill?” It was Natasha Fastjersey, the head librarian.
“What’s that?”
“You didn’t hear this from me, but the word is that the headmistress intends to retire.”
“Are you sure? She hasn’t been here very long.”
“Health reasons. That’s what I heard.”
“She seemed perfectly fine when I was here last.”
“She still does, but one can never tell, can one? Anyway, not a word to anyone.”
“Of course not.”
Could the headmistress really be planning to retire? I certainly hoped not—Desdemona Nightowl represented everything that was good about CASS. I for one would be sorry to see her go. Maybe, Natasha had got it wrong—it wouldn’t be the first time. She’d once told me that she’d heard the airships were being replaced by giant catapults, which would be used to propel people between CASS and Candlefield. She’d failed to realise what the date was. Some of the pupils had fed her that information via the CASS newsletter which just happened to be dated 1st April.
***
Even though I’d been teaching for several months, my nerves still began to jangle every time I stepped into the classroom. I would rather have faced down a hardened criminal in my ‘real’ job than face a classroom full of kids, even though for the most part they were well behaved.
Although the kids didn’t refer to me as ‘Teacher’, they were required to call me Miss Gooder. I’d told the headmistress that I’d prefer they called me Jill, but she insisted that would set an unacceptable precedent. I wouldn’t be Miss Gooder for much longer, though. Jack and I had had several long conversations on the subject of my name. He’d suggested I might want to keep ‘Gooder’ after we were married—if for no other reason than for the business. I’d given it careful consideration, but in the end, I’d decided that I would take his name. That meant I’d be Jill Gooder for only a few more days, and then I’d become Jill Maxwell. It would take some getting used to, and I’d have to buy a new sign for the office, but on balance I thought it was the right decision.
“Morning, Miss Gooder,” the kids all chorused when I entered the classroom.
“Morning, class one-alpha. Please take your seats.”
As I glanced around, I spotted a new face seated in the back row, close to the window. I assumed it must be Fleabert Junior. To look at him, it seemed like butter wouldn’t melt, but I knew I had better heed Mrs Eastwest’s words of warning.
“Right, everyone, I thought today we could talk about the internet. Have any of you heard of that?”
A few hands went up. One of them belonged to Fleabert Junior.
I pointed to him. “I haven’t seen you in my class before. What’s your name?”
“Randall Fleabert Junior, Miss. I had to return home for a few weeks.”
“Why is that?”
“I had to appear in youth court back in the human world because I’d got into a spot of bother.”
“What happened?”
“It was my parents’ fault. They were the ones who wanted to drag me to this dump. I didn’t want to come, so I lost my temper, and broke a few things.”
“What kind of things?”
“The windows of the police station.”
“What good did you think that would do?”
“I thought if I could get arrested, my parents wouldn’t be able to send me to CASS, and that I’d be able to stay in the human world.”
“I take it that things didn’t work out as you’d planned.”
“They let me off with a fine and a slapped wrist.”
“Well you’re here now, so what can you tell us about the internet?”
“It’s brilliant. There’s all sorts on there: Snapchat, Facebook, Instagram, everything. I used to spend all day online. I hate it here—it’s so boring without it.”
“I’m not sure it’s a good idea to spend all day online, but if any of you are considering visiting the human world, or even working there eventually, it’s as well you’re aware of the internet because it plays a major part in many aspects of human life.”
“I’d got sixty followers on Twitter!” Fleabert blurted out.
“That’s very nice, but there are much more important uses for the internet, and I intend to discuss some of those today.”
My first few lessons had been a bit of a disaster because I’d tried to run them by the seat of my pants. I’d soon realised that I needed to prepare notes ahead of the lesson. Nothing too detailed—just a basic structure. Quite often, the conversations would drift away from the plan, but that was okay.
The kids generally seemed excited about the internet, particularly those who had yet to visit the human world.
“Ouch!” Lucinda Blade touched her ear.
“What’s wrong, Lucinda?”
“Something hurt me, Miss.”
“Have you been stung?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Are you alright?”
“Yes, Miss.”
“Okay, let’s carry on.”
Five minutes later, Ruby Noonday called out in pain. “Miss! Something pinched my arm.”
“Are you okay?”
“I think so.”
Something weird was going on. I was fairly certain that it wasn’t a wasp or a bee because the girls had been able to shrug it off so easily. Everyone in the room looked nervous, in case it was their turn to be ‘stung’ next. Everyone that is except for Fleabert Junior. He was grinning from ear to ear.
As the class discussion continued, I kept one eye on Fleabert. Five minutes later, I noticed something: Although he was doing his best to hide it, he was casting an unusual combination of spells. It took me a few seconds, but I was able to decode them just in time. As soon as I had, I quickly reversed both of his spells.
“Ouch!” Sally Topps screamed.
“Mr Fleabert!” I shouted. “What are you doing?”
Everyone was staring at Fleabert who was standing next to Sally Topps’ desk.
“I—err—how?” he spluttered.
“You’re obviously a talented wizard, Mr Fleabert. It’s just a pity that you don’t put your magic to better use.”
“How did you know?”
“That you’d used the ‘copy’ spell to leave an image of yourself in the chair, and then the ‘invisible’ spell that allowed you to move around the room undetected? It wasn’t difficult.”
“No one else has ever worked it out.”
“This is Jill Gooder, Dumbo,” Sally Topps said. “She’s the most powerful witch in Candlefield.” She turned to me. “Sorry for calling you by your first name, Miss.”
“That’s alright, Sally. Now, Mr Fleabert, I think an hour’s detention after school would be in order, don’t you?”
“But, Miss, it’s sports practice.”
“Not for you, I’m afraid. You can write me an essay on the dangers of social media.”
“But, Miss, I don’t know anything about social media.”
“Didn’t you say how much you like Snapchat, Facebook and Instagram? And then there’s your sixty followers on Twitter. It seems to me that you’re very well acquainted with social media. Now, get back to your seat.”
Ten minutes from the end of the lesson, I threw open the floor for questions.
Destiny Braden’s hand flew up first.
“Yes, Destiny?”
“Is it true you’re getting married the weekend after next, Miss?”
“I’m not sure that comes under the heading of human studies.”
“But, Miss, aren’t you going to marry a human?”
“Actually, you’re right on both counts. I’m getting married a week on Saturday to Jack who is a human.”