“What do you think about this, Aunt Lucy?”
“There’s no point in asking me, Jill. We oldies don’t know anything, apparently.”
***
I spent the afternoon in the office, but there was nothing much doing—not so much as a sniff of a new client. I was beginning to think that Winky’s suggestion that I move into the Feng Shui business was worth more consideration. How difficult could it be to shuffle furniture around a room? The hard part would be keeping a straight face while talking earnestly about the negative and positive energy flows. But let’s face it, you’d have to be pretty unscrupulous to do something like that.
What do you mean it should suit me down to the ground?
The afternoon really dragged, and even when it was finally time to call it a day, I still had to face the tedious dress fitting.
I was just wondering whether or not anyone would notice if I didn’t turn up when Kathy and Lizzie walked into my office.
“Didn’t you trust me to come to the shop?” I said.
“Lizzie has something she wants to ask you, don’t you, Pumpkin?”
“Auntie Jill, can I borrow your cat?”
“Winky? What do you want him for?”
“Cheryl and Amy—they’re my friends at school. They’ve both entered their cats in the cat show, and I’d like to enter Winky.”
“Couldn’t you just go and watch it?”
“That wouldn’t be as much fun. Mummy said you might let me enter Winky into the competition.”
“I’m not sure he’d enjoy being in a cat show.” Just then, I spotted Winky who had come out from under the sofa. He was giving me two thumbs up and nodding his head. “Then again, I suppose he might like it.”
“Thank you, Auntie Jill.” She threw her arms around me. “You’re the best auntie in the whole wide world.”
“That’s okay. When is it?”
“This Sunday.” Kathy held up three tickets.
“This Sunday? The day after the hen night?”
“You did say you wouldn’t be having much to drink.”
“I know, but—hold on a minute. How come you already have the tickets?”
“They were selling out fast. I had to make sure they didn’t run out.” She fished another piece of paper out of her pocket. “And this is confirmation that Winky has been entered into the competition.”
“I can’t wait,” Lizzie gushed.
“Me neither.” I glared at Kathy.
“We’d better get back to the shop.” Kathy took Lizzie’s hand. “We’ll see you down there in a few minutes, Auntie Jill.” She was almost out of the door when she said, “Oh, and don’t worry about the money for the tickets and the entrance fee. You can give it to me later.”
Once again, that sister of mine had done me up like a kipper.
“What do I win?” Winky jumped onto my desk.
“What?”
“At the cat show. I’m bound to win. What’s the prize?”
“How would I know? Are you really sure you want to do this? There’s still time to back out.”
“No chance. I’m really looking forward to it.”
***
“I’ll get you back for this,” I said when I arrived at the bridal shop.
“For what?” Kathy gave me an innocent look.
“You know what. The cat show.”
“It’ll be fun, just you, me and Lizzie.”
“Says you. Do we really need to bother with another dress fitting tonight? It was perfect the last time I tried it on.”
“No, it wasn’t. The hem on one side at the back was half a centimetre too long.”
“I want to see your dress again, Auntie Jill.” Lizzie was already wearing her bridesmaid’s dress.
“You look beautiful, Lizzie.” I glanced around. “Where’s Mikey?”
“There’s something I have to tell you about Mikey,” Kathy said.
“He’s not poorly, is he?”
“No, he’s fine, but he’s decided he doesn’t want to be a pageboy.”
“Why?”
“Apparently, some of his friends saw a photo of him, and made fun of his outfit.”
“He shouldn’t care what they say.”
“That’s what I told him, but he’s adamant he doesn’t want to do it. I even tried to bribe him with the promise of maggots.”
“Maggots?”
“For his fishing. He’s always running out of them, but even the promise of a month’s supply wasn’t enough to change his mind.”
“It’s okay. I wouldn’t expect him to do it unless he wants to. I’m happy just to have you and Lizzie as bridesmaids.”
“Come on, then. Put the dress on. Let me take a look at that hem.”
***
As Jack was having a bowling night, I called at the fish and chip shop on my way home from the dress fitting. Tish and Chip were behind the counter.
“Fish, chips and mushy peas, please.”
“Open or wrapped?”
“Wrapped, please.”
“Salt and vinegar?”
“No, thanks.”
“What about curtains?”
“Sorry?”
“We have a promotion on ready-made curtains this week.” She pointed to the display at the far end of the counter.
“Err—no, thanks. I’m good for curtains.”
Despite their inexplicable obsession with soft furnishings, Tish and Chip did make delicious fish and chips. I ate every last morsel.
Jack arrived home just before ten-thirty. “It smells of fish and chips in here.”
“I called at the chippy on my way home.”
“Too lazy to make yourself something?”
“No. I had to go for the dress fitting after work, and I didn’t get away from there for ages. You know what Kathy’s like—fussing around.”
“How did it go?”
“Okay. Apparently, the hem is spot on now.”
“Good stuff.”
“Mikey isn’t going to be our pageboy.”
“Oh? Why not?”
“His friends were taking the mickey, so he’s decided he doesn’t want to do it.”
“How do you feel about that?”
“Fine. It’s best he doesn’t do it if he doesn’t want to. He’d only act up on the day. How did the bowling go?”
“Brilliant. I told you that Bill and Graham had challenged me and Chris to the best of five matches, didn’t I?”
“Err—yeah, I think so.” I normally zoned out when Jack was talking about bowling.
“Well, we beat them tonight.”
“That’s nice.”
“Nice? It’s unbelievable. Nibbler is favourite for next month’s North of England Cup; he’s won three years in a row. And—”
“Hold on. Did you call him Nibbler?”
“That’s Bill’s nickname because he bites his nails non-stop.”
“You should introduce him to Deli’s husband. It sounds like they’d hit it off. So, what’s your nickname?”
“I don’t have one. Anyway, I was telling you about our fantastic victory. Graham is second seed for the North of England Cup. When Bill and Graham play as a team, they’re practically invincible. In fact, that’s what they’d taken to calling themselves: the invincibles. They even have matching shirts and bowling balls.”
“Well done you.”
“Thanks. It felt good to get the better of them after all this time.”
“Should I start to call you King Pin?”
“I think you should.”
Chapter 6
The next morning, Jack was still basking in the glory of his bowling victory. I tried to be enthusiastic, but I was only half awake and much more interested in the full English he’d made for both of us.
“I’ve been thinking,” I said, during a break in the frame by frame analysis of the previous night’s match. “I think we should get the sandpit taken out.”
“What brought that up?”
“It’s just that every morning when I come into the kitchen, I see it through the window, and wonder why we’ve got it.”
“You were the one who wanted it in the first place.”
“I know, but Mikey’s never been bothered about it, and even Lizzie seems to have grown tired of it. She didn’t go anywhere near it the last two times she came over. I thought it might be nice to reclaim our garden.”
“Can we afford it, what with all the wedding expenses?”
“Have you forgotten my brother-in-law is in the landscaping business? I’m sure Peter would be happy to do it for free.”
“You can’t expect him to do that. He’s running a business.”
“I was only joking about him doing it for free, but I bet he’ll give us a really good deal.”