“Feng whatty?”
“Shui. The ancient Chinese art of talking cobblers.”
“I don’t know why you stand for it. This is your business, isn’t it? You should give her the bullet and get Jules back here. I miss her pretty face.”
“Jules is happy in her new job.”
“How can she be, without me for company?”
“You’re probably one of the reasons she left. And how many times do I have to tell you not to sit on my desk? Get down.”
“You should be nice to me. I’m feeling quite fragile at the moment.”
“Fragile? You? Do me a favour.”
“It’s true. I’ve taken some hard knocks recently.”
“Such as?”
“First, my main money-spinner, the Midnight Gym, gets closed down. That’s had a big impact on my finances.”
“You should count yourself lucky you got away with that scam for as long as you did.”
I-Sweat’s membership had grown so quickly that they’d been forced to relocate to brand new, custom-built premises on the other side of town.
“Who’s taking over their old place?”
“I’ve no idea. I haven’t seen the landlord to ask him. It looks as though it’s almost ready to open, though. The sign went up last week: Escape.”
“What’s that when it’s at home?”
“No idea. Maybe a travel agent? Escape on holiday?”
“How am I supposed to make money out of that?”
“You’re not.”
“And then there’s the disappointment over your wedding.” He sighed.
“You’re not still going on about that, are you?”
“Why wouldn’t I? When the old bag lady got married, you promised that when you got hitched I could be your pagecat.”
“I’m not sure I actually made a promise.”
“Yes, you did, and now you’ve gone back on your word.”
“My nephew, Mikey, is going to be my pageboy.”
“He won’t be as good at it as I would.”
“That’s as maybe, but it’s too late to do anything about it now. The wedding is a week on Saturday.”
“I feel so betrayed.”
“Look, if Mikey is ill, you can stand in for him. I can’t say fairer than that, can I?”
It was hard to believe that in less than two weeks Jack and I would be married. It was just over a year since Jack had proposed, and I’d shared my secret with him. On that day, I’d had no idea how he would react—I just knew that I couldn’t continue to live a lie. If he’d been horrified by my revelation, I would have used magic to make him forget what he’d just seen and heard, and then walked away forever. To my surprise and delight, he’d been very accepting, although it’s true to say he’d been in a state of shock for some considerable time. Once he’d recovered, we’d had many long discussions—one of the most important concerned how best to keep our secret. If word got out that Jack knew I was a witch, the rogue retrievers would take me to Candlefield where I’d be forced to remain forever. After much discussion, we’d decided it would be best to tell no one that Jack knew my secret. Not even Grandma, Aunt Lucy or the twins. I’d also promised that I would not use magic around Jack unless it was a matter of life and death.
What? Yes, of course I still used magic to clean the house. What could be more life and death than that? I just had to make sure Jack wasn’t anywhere around when I did it.
***
After I’d checked my emails: all spam, and my post: all bills, I phoned Grandma, but there was no reply, so I set off in search of her. I started at Ever, which was as busy as usual.
“Hey, Julie, is my grandmother here?”
Julie was the head Everette; Grandma had taken her on not long after Kathy had left to set up her bridal shop. I really liked Julie; she had a wonderful personality: charming, polite and caring. I suppose she reminded me of myself.
What? Of course I have all those qualities and many more. Self-awareness and modesty to name just two.
Anyway, I was telling you about Julie. Apart from all the qualities that she and I shared, she had a wonderful way with Grandma. I’d never seen anyone who was able to handle her better. Nothing Grandma could say or do ever seemed to fluster Julie, who was coolness personified.
“Your grandmother isn’t here, Jill. She popped in first thing, but then shot off again.”
“I don’t suppose she said where she was going?”
“Sorry, no. How long is it until the wedding now?”
“A week on Saturday.”
“You’re remarkably calm. I was a nervous wreck for weeks before I got married. There’s so much to organise, isn’t there?”
“I’ve got it all in hand.”
“I’m very impressed.”
“Thanks. I’d better let you get back to your customers.”
Next stop: Ever A Wool Moment (or EAWM as I shall call it from now on). The reincarnation of Grandma’s famous wool shop was across the road from its original base (now occupied by Ever). Just to rub Ma Chivers’ nose in it, Grandma had built the new shop on the location previously occupied by Yarnstormers, which had mysteriously collapsed. The official reason given for that collapse had been old mine shafts, but one of my moles had told me otherwise.
All the old favourites were back on offer: the number of Everlasting Wool subscribers had exploded, and One-Size knitting needles were as popular as ever.
“Morning, Jill.”
“Morning, Kim.”
Kim Neaper was manager of EAWM. I’d first met her some time ago when she was working as a grim reaper, alongside my old friend, Jim Keeper. Kim had grown tired of the reaping business, mainly because she’d found it impossible to keep a boyfriend. What more logical career progression could there be than to go from grim reaper to manager of a wool shop?
“I’m looking for my grandmother. Is she here?”
“I haven’t seen her yet today.” She grinned. “Not that I’m complaining. Have you tried Ever?”
“I’ve just come from there. I guess that leaves only one place she can be. See you around, Kim.”
“Hold on, Jill. How are the wedding plans going?”
Sheesh! Everywhere I went, it was all anyone wanted to talk about.
“Okay, thanks. Everything’s under control. I’d better get going or her highness will give me grief.”
“Bye, Jill.”
Grandma was slowly but surely taking over Washbridge’s retail sector. As well as EAWM and Ever on the high street, she also owned ForEver Bride on West Street—right next door to Kathy’s Bridal Shop.
“Morning, Jill. Your grandmother has been looking for you.” Eliza Domore was the manager of ForEver Bride. A nicer woman you couldn’t hope to meet. What she’d done to deserve having to work for Grandma, goodness only knew.
“Morning, Eliza.”
“There you are.” Grandma appeared from the back of the shop. “Nice of you to bother.”
“I’ve just spent the last ten minutes looking—”
“Never mind the excuses. Come through to my office.” She turned and led the way to the back of the shop.
“You and that human of yours are going away on honeymoon, aren’t you?”
“You know we are.”
“Good. I’m going to need your house while you’re away.”
“Sorry?”
“Your house. I’m going to need it.”
“Why?”
“For an old friend of mine, Madge Moleworthy. Have I mentioned her before?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Madge has never been to the human world before, but she has to come over here for a couple of weeks—something to do with her cousin. She needs somewhere to stay, and I said she could live at your house while you’re away.”
“Why can’t she stay with her cousin?”
“They already have a house full.”
“What’s wrong with a hotel?”
“Madge is nervous enough about coming over here as it is. She’d never cope with a hotel.”
“So, you thought you’d offer her our house?”
“Exactly. As luck would have it, her cousin lives only a couple of miles from your place, so it’s ideal.”
“And you didn’t think you ought to ask me first?”
“Not really.”
“I’m sorry, but it’s simply not on.”
“I’ve already promised her.”
“You’ll just have to un-promise her.”
“I can’t do that. And anyway, you owe me.”
“What for?”