Jonathan was dangerous. It was like looking at my teenage reflection – I could see the damage he would do to every single life that became intimately entwined with his, how monstrous he would become, unchecked. Dispatching my younger self in the woods was not cathartic, but it was necessary. There is such a thin line between chaos and order, but Jonathan Day is now no longer a threat to anyone.
I do not mind that this will go unnoticed – no doctor ever seeks thanks for what they have done; I am no hero. I was just doing my job.
The truth does not always out, and for that we must all be thankful.
Epilogue
Alex
I knew there was something going on from the second David turned up at the house again with some excuse about having forgotten his mobile phone – he’d left it in our downstairs loo apparently. David is never without his phone, least of all for a whole afternoon. He remarked that the house was quiet and I explained that Rob had taken the girls to my in-laws – as he’d suggested. He looked quietly pleased and said he was sure it would help.
Only, I explained, I’d gone and lost the sleeping pills… He’d seemed worried about that and insisted on coming upstairs to help me look for them, which was weird too.
We were momentarily distracted by Gary Day showing up and saying his piece. I was actually quite glad when David insisted on staying for a bit once he’d gone. We found the pills, of course, and when I came back from the loo having brushed my teeth, David was sitting on the edge of the bed putting his phone away in his pocket and glancing at his watch. I got the distinct impression he had plans, yet he seemed to be waiting for something. I wrote a note for Rob and stuck it on the bedroom door, told David he didn’t need to worry about staying any longer and pretended to knock the pill back with water, actually palming it instead. I smiled gratefully at him as I climbed into bed. ‘Thank you so much for everything, David. Would you mind showing yourself out?’ I yawned. ‘I’m sure I’m going to get some sleep tonight, thank God.’
He got up. ‘Glad to have been of service. Toodle-pip, and sweet dreams.’
I snuggled down obediently, even switching off my light as he left. I heard him creak along the landing, then a moment or two later his light footstep on the stairs. The front door closed and I relaxed slightly, but oddly, there was nothing after that. No car starting up. I turned my head on the pillow and listened carefully. I got out of bed and went to the curtains, peeping through the gap – to see him sitting in the front of his car, on his phone. I climbed back into bed but after five minutes, still no engine turning on. I went back to the window. The car hadn’t moved – but David was walking up the road towards the woods.
Astonished, I tried to think quickly, and on a hunch spun round and opened the wardrobe door, reaching inside one of my knee-high boots to retrieve the phone from the toe. I switched it on and almost immediately, a text came through from Jonathan:
Are you there? Just had a message from someone saying ‘I have to see you.’ Was a different number tho? Told me to come to the woods. They were making out like they were you?
I hesitated. Bloody hell, David. Really? Why was he posing as me? I chewed my lip thoughtfully.
Definitely me. Wasn’t sure if you’d barred this phone, so used alternative option. Your father came to my house tonight… He just left.
WHAT? Why?
I could sense Jonathan’s alarm.
He had something to say. I’ll tell you when I see you.
* * *
You’re lying. Don’t do this to me again. Please.
* * *
Cross my heart. Come. It’s really important. I owe you the truth. Your mother deserves the truth. He’s not a nice man.
A small smile played around my mouth as I turned the phone off. That ought to do it.
Well! David – my knight in shining armour. Who knew he had it in him? I got back into bed, absurdly flattered at the thought of him coming to my rescue in such dramatic fashion, believing he was defending my honour. Dear David, always there for me, year in, year out – after every mistake. The thought of him telling Jonathan to back off, scaring him into silence far more effectively than Rob had managed, was beyond a relief. I shivered with anticipation and unable to settle climbed back out of bed to watch from the window, excited to see what was going to happen next.
I felt an actual thrill when I saw a figure come around the corner. It was David. I peered through the gap in the curtain as the clouds blew away from the moon – illuminating something strange on his feet. My smile faded. What was he wearing?
Then I realised. They were bags.
He had fucking plastic bags on his feet. I gasped and darted away from the window, scrambling back into bed. My heart was thumping so hard I felt sick. What had he done? David?
I listened for the car starting but instead heard a soft click of the front door opening downstairs and froze.
He was back in the house again? How? Why? What was he doing? He’d let himself out! I looked around frantically for my phone, realising as I did that even if I called the police immediately, I’d be dead long before they arrived.
The stairs creaked.
He was coming to find me.
I squeezed my eyes shut tightly and thought of my girls and of Rob. How could everything have come to this? I made desperate and silent deals with God that if he spared me, I would never, ever do anything like this ever again. I would be a better person. A good wife, a decent mother.
He walked past the bedroom, he was going to the bathroom? I heard the tap start running and the squeak of our bathroom cabinet opening… then tensed with fear as his footsteps approached the bedroom door once more. Oh God, please no…
But they passed, and he went downstairs again.
Still I held my breath as there was the quiet jangle of keys being placed back carefully down on the side, then the click of the door again, before the best sound I have ever heard in my life – after my daughters’ first cries – his car starting and pulling away.
Everything fell silent and after what felt like an age, I was brave enough to get up and go to the window. He’d gone.
I walked shakily over to the phone Jonathan had bought me all those weeks ago and checked it was switched off. I put his iPhone in a tin can at the bottom of the rubbish bag after I removed it from his car, and off it went with the bin men the following day. I knew I also had to get rid of the burner immediately – should I risk it when Rob was due back any moment or wait until the morning? I was pulling some socks on when the familiar noise of our car pulling onto the drive made the decision for me. Rob was home. I grabbed the phone and jumped into bed, under the covers. He must have seen the note on the door, as he didn’t come in.
I stayed there all night, wide-awake with shock, clutching Jonathan’s mobile.
By the morning I’d managed to convince myself I was being stupidly melodramatic. David wasn’t capable of killing someone! There would prove to be a logical explanation – but when I heard the police sirens, I knew what they’d found. I put a smile on my face, but when Rob drove us past the woods and I saw Jonathan’s car being recovered, I couldn’t hide it – my reaction was physical. I had a panic attack. Jonathan’s mobile was in my bag. I lost control when Rob said the police were following us. I thought they were going to stop and search and that would be that.