I drove to the surgery straight after class, in my first free period. Luckily Cherry was in History – I didn’t need any complications or questions. When I arrived at the doctors, though, it was chaos. There were several people giving the receptionists proper grief. Confused, I went and sat down for a moment while I tried to work out what was happening.
‘Excuse me, mate,’ I said to the bloke sitting next to me, who was busily texting someone. ‘Do you know what’s going on?’
‘They’ve got computer problems, everything’s running really late and they don’t know what the hell is going on.’ He nodded tersely at the receptionists. ‘I’ve been here nearly three quarters of an hour already, missed two lectures and I’ve still not been seen.’ He went back to his screen.
I fell silent. This didn’t look promising.
The bloke jiggled his leg, looked at the clock on the wall and said under his breath: ‘In fact, fuck it.’ He scrunched up a piece of paper he was holding into a ball, dropped it on the floor and walked out in disgust.
I watched him go, picked it up and unfolded it. It was some sort of form he’d filled out. The woman at the desk was still arguing with another patient, but just as I was deciding how best to play this, some double doors opened and another woman appeared saying loudly: ‘Shahid Khan for Dr Inglis, Room 10.’
I waited, but no one got up.
She looked around and repeated: ‘Shahid Khan?’
I looked down at the name on the form I was holding and realised she was calling the bloke next to me who’d given up and gone. All I had to do was get in a room with Alex. I didn’t need long for what I’d come to do.
I stood up. ‘Sorry, that’s me. I was miles away.’
She didn’t bat an eyelid. ‘Room 10,’ she repeated, and disappeared.
I made my way up the corridor and knocked on the almost closed door. The déjà vu wasn’t even funny. It was exactly like the very first time, three months ago.
‘Come in,’ Alex said cheerily.
She glanced up as I walked in and, satisfyingly, looked horrified. She jumped to her feet quickly as I closed the door behind me.
‘What are you doing here?’
‘Not nice when someone turns up unannounced, is it?’ I said. ‘Although obviously you will have been hoping I’d come running after last night’s little stunt, so this can’t be that much of a surprise?’
She didn’t say anything, just glanced at the door, but I was stood between it and her.
‘How did you get in here? I’ve got a patient waiting.’
‘Shahid Khan? Yeah, that’s me.’ I waved my scrunched-up paper.
‘You gave a fake identity?’ That unnerved her, I could tell. She looked genuinely frightened. ‘Jonathan, you shouldn’t have come here. If anyone sees you—’
‘I had a row with Cherry after you left yesterday.’ I spoke over her and watched carefully for a reaction to my lie – but she didn’t say anything; she was busily recomposing herself again, becoming blank. ‘Even my dad knew something was up.’
I waited, but she was back under control and just looked at me, impassively.
‘Is that what you wanted? All of this to come out in the open? What were you playing at, worming your way into my house yesterday?’ I took a step closer to her. ‘Getting your friends to recommend you to my parents, then upsetting my mother and shoving my girlfriend around? Who do you think you are, Alex?’ I hadn’t realised quite how angry I was until that moment. ‘We agreed we were over. “Have you got rid of him?” were your friend’s exact words, I think?’
‘Wait, Jonathan.’ She held up a defensive hand. ‘I had absolutely no idea you lived there. Your mother requested a home visit for medical attention.’
It took a moment for her words to sink in – I hesitated, completely confused. ‘What are you talking about? Of course you knew I lived there!’
‘Jonathan, I want to make it absolutely clear that my friend recommended me to your parents without my knowledge.’ She spoke slowly and deliberately. ‘I didn’t come to see you yesterday. I’m your doctor at the practice you’re registered at. There are very strict rules about that sort of thing.’
‘Right, because that’s bothered you up until now, the way it bothered you in your hotel room in Ibiza, in fact?’ I looked at her incredulously. ‘The LAST time we were going to do it, remember? Go out on a high? Ibiza 2017?’
‘But I didn’t know then. We were just two strangers.’
Then it dropped, and I saw what she was doing. How psycho could one person be? I had to close my eyes for a moment while I made a huge effort not to lose my cool. ‘Alex, that’s just not true, is it? I know you got off on that whole idea of us being strangers in Ibiza, but this isn’t funny any more. You’ve just called me Jonathan for a start, you know exactly who I am. I’ve got a phone back at my house full of messages from you. Stop playing games.’
‘A phone full of messages?’ She looked completely confused. ‘I realised that was your name when I saw it on your mother’s notes this morning. Jonathan, have I seen you before? Here, I mean, as a patient?’
I stared at her in disbelief and nearly yelled with frustration. ‘Alex, you need to stop this. You came to my fucking house! Have you no concept of how messed up that is?’
‘Jonathan, when we met at the club, did you think I knew who you were?’
‘This is not going to work,’ I warned her, somehow keeping calm. ‘I see what you’re trying to do, but I KNOW I have not imagined this whole thing. You’re playing a very sick game. Of course you knew who I was.’
‘But I didn’t. You do understand that, don’t you? I didn’t know who you were. I don’t know what you mean, you’ve got a phone full of messages? I think it would be best if you left now, actually.’
I laughed when she said that. I couldn’t help it. ‘You want me to leave?’
‘Yes, I do. I really am very sorry, Jonathan, that you thought my coming to your house was some sort of signal, but please don’t feel embarrassed. I can see it was an honest mistake.’
I stared at her, scrunched my fake form back up and put it in my pocket. ‘OK, whatever. If this is how you want to make yourself feel better about the fact that it’s over between us, I can live with that. Pretend whatever the hell you want. But you are NOT to come to my house again. You stay away from me, and my family, and my girlfriend, from now on. This is my official last warning to you.’ I stepped right up into her face and whispered, ‘or I will make you wish you really had never met me.’
My hands started tingling. I was so angry with her, the strength of it surprised me. I realised how easy it would be to just reach out and put my hands round her neck. I wanted to do it so much, I felt frightened and had to quickly spin around and bang out of the room – before I did something I’d regret even more than laying a finger on her in the first place.
* * *
The rage burst out of me when I got back in the car, however, and I actually did shout. I couldn’t believe what she’d just had the nerve to do; stand there and barefaced act like I was having some kind of mental flip out, when she had been the one to creep into my house within touching reach of my parents.
I leant my head back on the headrest for a moment, exhausted by the adrenaline surge I’d experienced back in her room. I just wanted it all to go away. If only I’d not put that bloody message on her windscreen.
I drove back to school for lunchtime to find everyone messing around in the Year 12 & 13 common room.
‘Hey!’ Cherry was delighted to see me. ‘Where have you been?’ Her face clouded over with concern. ‘Everything all right at home?’
I flopped down onto one of the sofas, and she got on alongside me. I didn’t know what to say and sat there for a moment trying to formulate the jumble of thoughts in my head, when suddenly a football smacked me on the side of the face out of nowhere. Everyone laughed, and I know it was just the lads pissing about, they didn’t mean anything by it, but it tipped me over the edge.