I put the postcode into Google Maps and discovered it was only twenty minutes away. It couldn’t be her actual address? It took me out past the bunny run and the farm shop entrance then left onto another even smaller lane that led past a couple of houses and wove deeper into the forest. I made the mistake of turning off too soon into a small Forestry Commission clearing. There was nothing else there, only an open track leading right into the woods. I reversed and drove on, almost immediately reaching a cottage set back from the road, behind a five-bar gate.
I parked on the road, and walked down the drive through the garden, in the dark. There were no lights on and the curtains were open. It looked a bit like the family who lived there had gone on holiday. I peered in through the glass and jumped to see Alex just sat on a sofa in the gloom looking back at me. She stood up and walked out of the room as I made my way to the front door. I waited until she silently opened it and stood back to let me in.
Walking into the hallway, which smelt strongly of flowers, I kept my hands in my jeans pockets and turned to face her. ‘Do you live here?’
She nodded. ‘My husband has taken the children to his parents for the night. I pretended I wasn’t feeling well and stayed put.’
I’d not thought about her having children before then. For the first time I wondered exactly how old she was, but then I realised what she’d just said. We had all night.
Maybe that was why she didn’t seem in as much of a rush as usual. She slowly walked over to me and I gently lowered my head and kissed her. She pulled back immediately and looked at me, surprised. I reached for her hand and started leading her towards the stairs.
‘No,’ she said, stopping abruptly. ‘We stay down here.’
‘OK,’ I said, holding up both hands at her sharp tone.
She walked past me into the sitting room, and I followed to find her pulling the curtains. I went to put the light on, but as I reached for the switch, she shook her head.
‘Leave it.’
I exhaled, more with nerves than anything – and suddenly remembered Ruby checking that I was going to be somewhere safe. I looked at the closed door on the other side of the room leading to fuck knew where. What if it was all bollocks and her husband was waiting behind that door, and this was just something they did – lure boys like me back to their house before hurting them? I suddenly wanted to be at Olly’s very badly, just getting pissed with my mates, getting off with Cherry and posting stupid selfies. I was frightened. I started to edge back away towards the door leading to the hall, but Alex was quickly by my side and took my hand.
‘What’s wrong?’ I could just about make out the concern on her face, and she reached up and stroked my face gently. She’d never done anything like that before. ‘You’re shaking?’
‘I’m…’ I couldn’t help looking at the closed door again, and she followed my gaze.
‘No one’s here,’ she whispered. ‘It’s just you and me. I promise. You’re safe. I won’t let anything happen to you.’ She reached up and kissed me very gently, and I realised I wasn’t the only one trembling.
* * *
We did it in the dark on the floor. At first it was good, she kissed me a lot more than normal and put my hands on her body, but then she started making more noise and when she came, she gave this almost desperate moan, like she hadn’t wanted to but couldn’t help it. I didn’t like it; it was the saddest sound I’d ever heard. I didn’t want to do it after that, but she started whispering urgently ‘just do it, fuck me’, and using her hands on me. I did as I was told, and when I came, I felt her go still underneath me, almost lifeless. It freaked me out completely.
‘Alex?’ I also had no idea why we were still whispering if we were alone. ‘Are you all right?’
I reached my hand out to feel for her face in the dark and realised she was crying. I got off and lay down next to her. Her body had started to judder, and she covered her face with her hands while turning to hide in my chest as I put an arm protectively around her. I let her cry for a moment, while I stroked her hair and said: ‘it’s OK, it’s OK.’ I didn’t know what else to do.
‘It’s not OK, Jonathan! This is not OK. Trust me.’
I hesitated. I didn’t know how to handle this new her, and I was feeling increasingly uncomfortable. It was a relief when she pulled back and said: ‘I’m so sorry, but I think I need you to go now.’
I didn’t need to be told twice. I quickly jumped up and grabbed my clothes. Making my way out into the hall I found a downstairs loo and sorted myself out, glancing in the mirror as I washed my hands. What was I doing here, in her house while she lay crying in the other room? I didn’t want any of this. I turned off the light and walked back out into the empty hall.
‘Alex?’
There was no answer and reluctantly I went back into the sitting room. She was still lying on the floor, only with some sort of blanket round her as she lay on her side and stared into the cold fireplace, still in the dark. I had no idea why: we had to be the only people around for miles.
‘I’m going now.’
She didn’t turn over to look at me. ‘I’m so sorry, Jonathan.’
It wasn’t clear for what – and I didn’t much care. I just wanted to leave. She was being really weird. ‘OK then. Thanks,’ I said awkwardly, even giving her a little wave as I left. I closed the front door behind me, hurried down the drive and got into the car, driving away quickly and feeling a lot better when I hit the safety of the main road.
I felt better still when I pulled up at Ol’s and knocked loudly at the door – trying to be heard over the music coming from within – only to have Ol himself open it and whoop at the sight of me.
‘About time, knobhead! Heeeere’s, Jonny!’ he shouted, grabbing me by the shoulders and steering me inside, to more cheers.
I felt her phone buzz in my pocket as I went into the kitchen to find a drink. When I checked in the downstairs loo, she’d sent an apology.
I’m so sorry, Jonathan. That all got a bit messed up! :-0 Normal business has been resumed. Sorry again. Just wanted to check you’re OK?
For the first time, I ignored her and went off to find my girlfriend. The balance had shifted. I can’t describe it any better than that, sorry – but it’s honestly true about her not letting me upstairs and refusing to put the lights on. That’s why I don’t know what any of the rooms look like on the second floor. I did NOT go round to her house and look in through the windows while she was at home on her own. I’m no stalker or peeping Tom. I know what the downstairs rooms look like because I was there. She let me in.
But the minute it all got too intense for me, I backed off, and when she realised what was happening she didn’t like it and, predictably, did the same as every single girl I’ve ever known.
She came running… and she became obsessive.
10
Jonathan Day
Alex messaged every day for the next week – at the same time, every single day. It was pretty freaky – like an automated service. I was on the verge of just throwing the phone away, but realised, if I did that, I’d have no proof whatsoever and some sort of instinct told me evidence might be a useful thing to have, even though all she put was ‘Hi! How are you?’ Over and over again. I just kept on not replying, hoping she was eventually going to get the message, but on Thursday, 20 July, shit got real.
I’d been at home since lunchtime as school was more or less done for summer and I had free study periods every Thursday afternoon anyway. It was hot, I’d had enough, and the teachers had stopped caring if we were there or not. Angel had started barking, I’d gone to the door and there she was, just standing there on the doorstop.
I hadn’t known what to say at first, partly because I was pissed off to be caught looking a sweaty mug, still in my uniform, but also because she looked amazing. I’d forgotten how blatantly sexy she was. She was wearing a bright red dress that made her waist look tiny and sort of stuck out above her knees, and some cream coloured heels, while holding her doctor bag. The hot sun was shining right behind her and I was literally dazzled.