I was distracted; thoughts of killing him had hopped a bus and promised to be back next week. Irritated at the man still stubbornly in my apartment, I didn’t see his movement until it was too late. His hands were in my hair, hot breath on my face, and he was trying to kiss me—his soft lips pressed insistently on mine. I pushed against his hard chest and then he was there—in my mouth—his tongue tangled gently with mine. My own traitorous mouth responded, and my heart rate increased as my hands moved of their own accord up to his strong arms. His hands, entangled in my hair, grabbed and released my head. The smell of him invaded my senses. I had forgotten what it was like to kiss—to feel the response against my tongue, to feel his hot breath on my face when he pulled off me and stared into my eyes. His face was both tortured and confused. I didn’t like the searching look, the invasion into my soul, and I grabbed the back of his neck, pulling him back down. Everything was so foreign: the feel of warmth beneath my hands, the smell of something other than lube, books and food in my apartment. I tasted him, greedy for every sensation, my hands roaming everywhere, grabbing at his shirt, hastily undoing the buttons. His hands moved down, leaving my head, traveling hesitantly, slowly, until they reached my breasts, and brushed my nipples, softly caressing the curve of delicate skin. I gasped and froze.
That frozen moment in time when his fingers touched that skin, a place where I had never had human touch—it snapped me back to the present, to my reality, and I could suddenly feel it coming. The desire to kill. I didn’t want it. I wanted to continue this crazy, hot chemistry that had me wet and panting. I wanted, with every drop of my blood, to be a normal, naked woman locked in a passionate moment with a gorgeous, strong man. But it was there, and it was getting stronger.
He had gone too far—touching her perfect breasts, squeezing that soft skin. She had gasped, her body stiffening. He pulled back, looked into her eyes. There was passion there, hot heat and need, and then something flipped. A turbulent wave of indecision clouded her eyes, and she closed them tightly, face squeezed in an expression close to torment. Then her eyes snapped open and were filled with panic. She shoved him hard, her eyes flaring. “Go! Now! Get out!” She pushed, skidding with her hands and feet, scrambling out from underneath him, the urgent movements pushing him into action. He stood hastily.
He froze, unsure of what to do. Then came her strangled cry. “GO!” He bolted, throwing open the door and rushing into the empty, lonely hall, feeling a burst of air hit his back. He turned as the door slammed shut behind him. He heard the loud crack of wood on wood as it hit the frame, followed by a loud click and a long, tortured scream that ripped through his body, the sound shaking him to the core. After that there was total silence, a long excruciating pause that stretched on for minutes. He stood there, helpless, facing the door, listening for anything, waiting for something, alone in the empty hall, the damn box at his feet. The door, that closed door that he had stared at for three years, a barrier to her.
Finally he turned and walked to the elevator, pressing the down button with the heavy finger of the damned.
CHAPTER 27: Annie
Annie flew into the living room, running full force until she hit the waiting arms of Uncle Michael. He lifted her into the air, smiling up at her. She squealed with laughter, and he set her down gently, her kicking feet finding the ground early. Her Aunt Becky held out a perfect pink box, tied with a thick white ribbon. “Here,” she said shortly. “We can’t stay long.”
Annie held it tightly, looking at her mother’s pinched face for approval. “Go ahead, honey. You can open it in the dining room.” Annie beamed, grabbing Aunt Becky’s silky hand and tugging on it, skipping alongside her slow walk as they made their way the short distance into the next room.
The gift turned out to be a Paint-By-Numbers set, the price sticker still attached, displaying $4.99 in bright fluorescent orange. She ran her hands excitedly over the plastic-wrapped display, her eyes big and smile excited. She gave them both hugs, and returned immediately to the set, pulling off the plastic and touching the paint pads gently, feeling their texture. She didn’t notice when they said their goodbyes and left, pulling the trailer door tightly shut behind them.
CHAPTER 28: Dr. Derek Vanderbilt
“I met someone today.”
Dr. Vanderbilt—Derek—didn’t respond, obviously waiting for me to say something more. I don’t, and we sit there silently while I watch the digital display of my clock change, moving forward one minute, then two. Finally, he speaks.
“That’s great Deanna. How?”
“I knew him before—through the door, I mean. His name is Jeremy. He delivers my packages.”
“And you invited him in?” His voice is calm, soothing, irritatingly so.
“No. He came in, on his own.”
Movement caught my eye. Movement never occurs in my apartment. I sat up, confused, and saw him, or rather the back of him. Then he turned and our eyes met.
“Explain.” Derek’s voice is sharper, though you’d have to know his voice well to catch it.
“I was in bed. I guess I didn’t hear the knock. When I didn’t answer, he opened the door and came in.”
“Do you understand that he overstepped his boundaries by taking that course of action?” Derek’s voice is almost worked up, though he managed to keep its melodious tone.
“That’s a bullshit question you should know better than to ask. I’m not mental, for Christ’s sake. I know normal social protocols. Apparently he knocked a bunch of times, I didn’t answer, so he tried the door and came in.”
“You don’t lock your door?”
I sigh exasperatedly. “No, Daddy, I don’t lock my door. Well, you know … except for at night.”