The Getaway God

Muninn looks at me.

 

“You killed my brother. You killed part of me.”

 

“With all due respect, Mr. Muninn. You killed off all those other parts of yourself when you stole the universe and started this fight. I just made sure you were the last man standing.”

 

Muninn puts his hands flat on his knees.

 

“You understand that you can never use the Room again.”

 

“Maybe we can chip in and get him a bus pass,” says Samael.

 

I look over at him.

 

“If your stupid brother hasn’t killed my bike completely, I’ll be fine.”

 

Muninn stands up, looking into the sky, blinking against the rain.

 

“I have to go and think about things.”

 

He vanishes.

 

Samael and I look at each other. He follows me under a tree and I light a Malediction.

 

“I’m kind of fucked, aren’t I?”

 

He furrows his eyebrows.

 

“You he might just kill. I have to go home and live with the man. Which one of us is truly the fucked one?”

 

I puff the cigarette like it might be my last, because it might.

 

“I can’t take the hellhounds back now. You’ll have to do it.”

 

Samael nods.

 

“Another mess I have to clean up for you.”

 

“Probably the last.”

 

I offer Samael a cigarette and he takes it. I give him mine and he lights his off it.

 

“With the Room gone, I suppose we won’t be seeing each other very much anymore,” he says.

 

“Good riddance. You never returned your videos anyway.”

 

“And I never rewound in the VHS days.”

 

We don’t talk as we finish our smokes.

 

When we’re done I say, “Think you can give me a ride home? My bike’s in Hollywood and I can’t shadow--walk anymore.”

 

He rolls his eyes.

 

“Come along, Abomination,” he says.

 

I stand next to him. And in the next instant I’m alone in front of Max Overdrive. I go in the side door and straight upstairs.

 

Candy is asleep in the bedroom. Kasabian is under a blanket on the sofa. Destroy All Monsters plays silently on the big screen. I turn it off, strip naked, and slide into bed.

 

I wake up a few hours later when I hear something strange.

 

Silence.

 

I go to the window. The rain has stopped. The war in Heaven is over. Muninn is taking charge there and in Hell.

 

I go back to bed. Muninn has it in for me and the bullets are still in my chest. I’ll either wake up dead or I won’t.

 

I COME AWAKE with someone shaking me. I expect Candy, but when I open my eyes I see Samael. He hands me my clothes and puts a finger to his mouth telling me to be quiet.

 

We go out into the living room and I close the bedroom door.

 

“What are you doing here?”

 

“I got you a black shirt to hide your wounds.”

 

I take the shirt and start dressing.

 

“Did Mr. Muninn send you here to kill me?”

 

He looks out the widow and doesn’t say anything for a minute.

 

“How does it feel to be stuck in one place at a time with no shadows to stroll through?”

 

“It’s only been a night. Ask me in a week.”

 

“You’ll be begging Father for wings.”

 

“Wings are for you angel types. Maybe I’ll ask for a jet pack.”

 

“I wouldn’t ask for anything for a while.”

 

He takes my arm, and in the time it takes to blink, we’re in Muninn’s penthouse in Hell.

 

Muninn is at his desk in the library signing and organizing papers.

 

“Hello, Mr. Muninn.”

 

He doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t turn around. He just starts talking.

 

“However well intentioned your actions were last night, the fact remains that you broke our agreement. When I owed you a favor I complied. When you owed me a favor you couldn’t fulfill the commitment.”

 

“I’m sorry you feel that way, but I stand by what I said. The universe is in bad enough shape. It doesn’t need to get worse and it would have with Chaya in charge.”

 

He finally turns around. He’s frowning.

 

“That’s not the point.”

 

“For me it is. I know that makes me an arrogant asshole, but so’s your kid. He agrees with me.”

 

Samael puts up his hands.

 

“I’m a neutral third party in this discussion.”

 

“Coward.”

 

“Yes.”

 

Muninn shakes his head. Sets down his pen on the desk.

 

“Everything is different now. Everything is changed.”

 

“That’s a good thing, isn’t it?”

 

“You’re the cause of much of it, but if I asked your opinion you’d point out that I was the original instigator. Isn’t that right?”

 

“Who cares how we feel about things? The universe is safe now. That’s all that matters.”

 

Muninn gets up and walks to a set of bookshelves, not like he’s looking for anything. He just wants time to gather his thoughts.

 

“I’ve been thinking about some of our earlier conversations. Samael and I have been talking them over.”

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