The Getaway God

“Not exactly. But I have a corpse and a few hundred hellhounds. And I stole a cop car.”

 

“That’s fun. Pick me up. We’ll toss a coin to see who gets the handcuffs first. A car will be harder to break than furniture, but maybe more fun.”

 

“Sounds great, but I’m sort of busy right now. I did mention the corpse and hellhounds, right?”

 

“Fine. Be a drag. But come home soon. I don’t want to spend my last hours on Earth drinking peppermint tea with Kasabian.”

 

“Peppermint tea?”

 

“I’m still a little dizzy. Peppermint helps.”

 

“I’m living with a hippie.”

 

“Shut up, thief. For once don’t forget to wipe your prints off the car before you ditch it.”

 

“Anything else, dear?”

 

“Seriously, if it looks like things aren’t going to work out, come home.”

 

“They’re going to work out.”

 

“But if they don’t.”

 

“I’ll be there.”

 

“What’s the corpse for?”

 

“A long shot. Got to go.”

 

“Don’t forget the handcuffs.”

 

“I know. And ice cream.”

 

I hang up. I don’t have the heart to tell her that the handcuffs disappeared with the cops.

 

I DITCH THE car across from Vidocq and Allegra’s apartment, remembering to wipe down the steering wheel on the off chance that the world doesn’t end.

 

“Let’s go,” I say.

 

“Where to?”

 

“The Room of Thirteen Doors.”

 

I leave the headlights on and take Samael in through a shadow.

 

He takes a long look around the place.

 

“Thirteen doors. How charmingly literal. But it’s a bit dreary, don’t you think? I thought you might have brought in a carpet or at least a table with some flowers on it by now.”

 

“When you fêng--shui Hell, I’ll call you for decorating advice.”

 

He points to something near the Door of Drunken Eternity.

 

“What are those?”

 

“Those are mine.”

 

He walks over and peers down at them.

 

“One is the Singularity, isn’t it? I don’t recognize the other.”

 

“It’s the Mithras.”

 

He nods, impressed.

 

“So that’s where it went. Planning on having a cookout?”

 

“Only if I have to.”

 

“I’m glad all our fates are in the hands of someone whose decisions are so nuanced and well thought out.”

 

Samael walks around the entire room, touching each door as he goes.

 

I say, “You know how you opened the cop--car door? I need you to do the opposite here. Seal these doors. Use whatever powers you have to lock them tight so they can never be opened again.”

 

He raps on the last door with his knuckles.

 

“This one is already sealed.”

 

“That’s the Door to Nothing. I sealed it, but I didn’t know what I was doing. I need it done right.”

 

“Why?”

 

“It’s where the Kissi lived.”

 

He makes a face.

 

“You did us all a favor locking them out. What’s that door?”

 

“The Door to Fire. Listen, we don’t have time for a full tour.”

 

“This is probably the last chance I’ll get to see the place.”

 

“Me too, so stop whining.”

 

I check the time on my phone. It’s nine thirty.

 

“Make sure you bring Mr. Muninn and Chaya to Pershing Square by ten.”

 

“Why there and why then?”

 

“It’s a nice open space. I want to keep clear of big buildings. And I want to make this happen soon. The longer we fuck around, the more Shaky and Ruach are going to trash the city.”

 

“And the world.”

 

“That too.”

 

“Ten o’clock then.”

 

“When Shaky gets there be ready. Things are going to happen fast.”

 

“Of course.”

 

“And let me handle the big stuff. If I need help, you’ll know it.”

 

“I enjoy doing the least possible in these situations, so it sounds like a grand old time.”

 

I stand there for a minute overwhelmed and probably looking stupid.

 

“I don’t know if I have this thing entirely figured out.”

 

“You’re trying to see the future. That’s a mistake. Even Father can’t do that. If he could, we wouldn’t be in this position in the first place.”

 

I go to the door.

 

“When you get there, keep an eye on Chaya. I don’t want any freak--outs or surprises. But I want the whole family there when it happens.”

 

“If you want this done by ten I should get started.”

 

“I’ll leave one door open so you can get back Downtown.”

 

On the way out I say “Thanks,” but he’s already working on sealing hoodoo and doesn’t hear me or pretends he doesn’t.

 

I put the Singularity and Mithras in my pocket and leave Samael in the Room. Any other time I’m not sure if I would leave him in there alone. He’d do something cute, even if it was to get under my skin. But I have to trust him now. And anyway, his skin is on the line too.

 

I go back to the squad car, then head up to Allegra and Vidocq’s apartment. It used to be my apartment when I lived with Alice. Before Mason killed her. Vidocq put a hex on the place when he moved in. Basically, only Sub Rosa and other hoodoo types can see it. It’s invisible to civilians. Everyone forgot about the place. Vidocq was never big on paying rent.

 

I knock on the door and he answers. I leave my package behind some garbage cans in the hall.

 

“Good to see you. Please come in,” he says.

 

I go in and look around for Allegra, but I don’t see her.

 

“How is she?”

 

He shrugs.

 

“Comme ci comme ?a.”

 

“I’m fine.”

 

It’s Allegra’s voice, coming from the kitchen. She walks in with coffee for her and Vidocq. She offers me her cup. I shake my head.

 

“I’m okay,” she says. “It’s the clinic that’s ruined.”

 

“I’m really sorry.”

 

She sits on the sofa, clutching the cup in her hands.

 

“I don’t suppose it could have lasted forever. Sooner or later someone would find the place and shut it down. The cops. The Board of Health. Someone. I was just hoping it would last a little longer.”

 

Vidocq sits down and puts his arm around her. She rests her head on his shoulder. Lifts it off a moment later and looks at me.

 

“Are you hurt again?”

 

I pull my coat closed.

 

“I tripped on a chocolate bunny.”

 

“I have enough supplies to fix you, you know. And I could use the distraction,” she says.

 

I shake my head.

 

“Thanks. Tomorrow.”

 

“You look worried. Can we help with something?” says Vidocq.

 

I listen to the door for a minute in case someone walks down the hall. I don’t hear anything.

 

“I know you lost a lot of gear in the clinic, but remember when Brigitte got bit by the zombie that time and you put her in a kind of coma. What was that?”

 

Kadrey, Richard's books