Jade nodded, still looking unhappy. Very. Mark hoped this didn’t cause her to leave.
‘I’ll go to the chemist,’ Jade offered, dredging up a smile from somewhere. ‘Get some formula. I’m sure Evie will be fine, Mark. Don’t worry.’
Mark closed his eyes, relief surging through him. If anyone knew what to do here, it was Jade. ‘That would be great. Thanks.’
‘No problem,’ she assured him. ‘Do you want to come with me, Poppy?’
‘Uh-huh.’ Poppy nodded quickly, looking as if she’d rather be anywhere than home right now.
‘I could take Evie, too,’ Jade suggested. ‘We shouldn’t be too long. It might give you a chance to…’ She nodded diplomatically towards the stairs. ‘If Mel wouldn’t mind me taking her car, that is?’
‘I’m sure she won’t.’ Mark nodded to the keys on the work surface, and then crouched to give Poppy a firm hug. ‘Be good, Poppet,’ he said, his heart twisting as he noted the bewilderment in her eyes. ‘And remember, Jade’s in charge while Mummy’s not feeling well. Make sure to do everything she tells you to. Okay?’
‘I will,’ Poppy promised, with a brave little nod.
‘Good girl.’ Mark kissed her forehead and straightened up.
Hearing Jade shushing Evie and chatting to Poppy as he went up the stairs, assuring her that Dory would be fine, left in her special fish water in the sink, Mark counted his blessings. He’d worried about her qualifications when Mel had employed her so quickly. That had been one long month ago, and clearly his worries had been unfounded. Not only was she competent enough to care for the children in a crisis, she was caring enough to want to. She was indispensable. Mark knew that now with certainty. He’d need to do all he could to make sure she had access to everything she needed, including Mel’s car. If Jade stayed – and he prayed that she did – she would need to drive it on a regular basis.
* * *
Mark’s first reaction when he woke in the small hours was surprise at the complete silence. His second was panic as he reached for Mel to find her side of the bed empty.
He threw back the duvet, almost falling over it in his scramble to pull on his tracksuit bottoms before heading for the landing. Seeing no glimmer of light from downstairs, he went straight to the nursery, glancing into Poppy’s room as he did. She was fast asleep, Hercules lying loyally at the foot of her bed. She’d obviously been fighting with the duvet too. Bidding Hercules to stay, Mark crept quietly in to ease the covers back over his daughter’s small form.
The nursery door was closed, unusually. Both he and Mel preferred it left open a fraction. Warily, Mark listened outside and then, hearing no sound, he pressed down the handle and went inside, looking apprehensively over to the cot as he did.
Evie, lying on her tummy, one tiny hand to the side of her face, appeared to be sleeping. Needing to reassure himself, Mark took a breath and stepped further in. Seeing his baby girl’s eyelids flutter as her mind chased her dreams, he closed his own eyes and allowed himself to breathe out.
Mel was standing in the middle of the room, though she gave no indication she knew he was there. She was quite still, her arms wrapped tightly about herself. Not sure what to do next, wondering whether she might even be sleepwalking, Mark hesitated for a second, watching her watching Evie, and then, noticing her shoulders tense as she breathed deeply in, he walked quietly across to her.
‘I wouldn’t hurt her,’ Mel murmured, as he stopped behind her.
‘I know.’ Hearing the wretchedness in her voice and wondering how long she’d been standing here, quietly crying, Mark felt his heart hitch. ‘I know you wouldn’t, Mel,’ he said, placing his arms around her and desperately trying to quash the feeling that, if he let go, he might lose her.
Thirty-Four
MELISSA
Melissa willed her body to respond, her mind screaming. Her heart constricted inside her; she tried to run, to breathe, but her feet were weighed down by the swirling nothing beneath her. The air was too thick, too putrid; choking smoke seared her lungs. Petrified, she tried to reach Evie. Tried to push and prise them away, the hands that clutched and clawed at her legs, disembodied arms rising and writhing like pale grey vines from the mire. She was crying. Pitiful whimpers turned to terrified tears – her baby was crying. Someone was shaking her, hurting her, and she… couldn’t…
Hush, little baby, don’t say a word…
Jade?
‘Morning,’ Jade greeted her cheerily.
Prising heavy-lidded eyes open, Mel blinked hard against the bright light the girl seemed to be bathed in.
‘Morning,’ Jade said again, standing over her. ‘I brought you some tea.’
Attempting to focus, Mel gulped hard against the parched dryness of her throat, and struggled to lever herself up.
‘Hold on,’ Jade said, taking a step to the side.
Squinting, Mel registered the sunlight filtering through the slatted blinds. Her blinds at her bedroom window, she realised, immense relief washing through her.
‘You were sleeping like a baby.’ Jade bobbed back into view. ‘We didn’t like to wake you, so—’
‘We?’
‘Mark,’ Jade clarified, leaning down to help her with her pillows. ‘He said you hadn’t fallen asleep until after three, so we thought it was best not to disturb you.’
There was that ‘we’ again. Mel wasn’t sure she liked it. Or being left to sleep until some ridiculous time. Her sleep patterns had been erratic, to say the least, when she’d been unwell before. She’d had no reason, not even the will, to get out of bed then. But things were different now. She had a family, and suddenly, paranoid though it might be, she felt excluded from it. Routine was what she needed, to get up and get on with it. She didn’t want to give in, to lie in bed, battling nightmares that seemed too real to be dreams and slipping further into her black hole. ‘Where is he?’ she asked, pushing the duvet back and attempting to pull herself into a sitting position, no easy task with her brain and body seemingly immersed in soft treacle.
Jade reached a hand out to steady her. ‘He’s taken Poppy to school. And Evie’s due her check-up, so he—’
‘Mark’s taken her?’ Mel asked, surprised. ‘But doesn’t he need to be at work?’
‘He said he wanted to spend some time with her. I was ready to take her, but—’
‘Wanted to keep her out of harm’s way, more likely,’ Mel growled. Seeing the alarmed expression on Jade’s face, she felt immediately guilty. Again.
‘He means well, Melissa,’ Jade said, tentatively, obviously wary of being interrupted or snapped at. ‘I know how you feel, honestly I do. Sometimes you just want people to go away and not treat you as if you’re incapable, but he is trying to be helpful.’
He was. She knew he was. Mel sighed inwardly, and then looked at Jade curiously as her thoughts caught up with her. ‘Do you? Know how I feel?’
Jade hesitated, and then reluctantly nodded. ‘I was on medication, too,’ she admitted, now looking awkward. ‘Only for a short while, after my parents…’ Mel searched her face, attempting to digest this new information about her babysitter. ‘I’m fine now. I probably should have mentioned it before, but…’ Dropping her gaze, Jade trailed embarrassedly off.
‘You thought I wouldn’t employ you?’ Mel finished, empathising completely. There was more understanding of mental illness nowadays but still there was prejudice and fear of the unknown. Mel had experienced it herself. She’d never imagined Mark might think her incapable of looking after her own children though.
Jade nodded slowly. ‘Sorry,’ she said, in a small voice.