‘Mel?’
‘Yes, fine,’ Mel said, looking up at him but not seeming to see him.
‘Evie’s had some water,’ he tried, wishing she would talk to him; wishing that by some miracle this would all go away.
Mel smiled. ‘Good,’ she said.
Exasperated, Mark glanced back to the kitchen, where Evie was on her own, content for the moment, though he doubted she would be for long. He wasn’t happy about leaving her there and Mel out here. ‘Will Jade be back soon?’
‘Should be,’ Mel said. ‘She went to the dentist with a tooth. She’s picking Poppy up on the way.’
A toothache, Mark presumed. And she must be picking Poppy up from school on the way home, not the way there. Growing more concerned at Mel’s emotionless responses, Mark pulled out a chair to sit opposite her. ‘Are you okay with the medication, Mel? The antidepressants?’
Mel answered with an indifferent shrug.
‘Have you taken any? Your first dose, I mean.’
Mel’s answer this time was a shake of her head.
And yet, she seemed more out of it than ever. Frustrated, Mark pressed on. ‘Do you think it’s a good idea to drive on them, Mel?’ He had to broach the subject of her driving, whether she might think he was being controlling or not. His only other option was to take the car keys, and he really did not want to do that.
Mel looked at him at last, guardedly. ‘If I felt I couldn’t drive, I wouldn’t.’
Mark nodded. ‘You’ll have to report it to the DVLA if it does affect your driving.’
Mel frowned, and then shrugged again, as if only half-interested, which increased Mark’s apprehension. So, what now? This was getting him nowhere.
Deciding he had no other option, Mark breathed in deeply and took the bull by the horns. ‘And you’ll avoid alcohol, yes?’
‘Avoid…?’ Snapping her gaze to his, Mel searched his face. ‘Are you serious?’ She laughed incredulously.
Mark held her gaze. ‘Deadly,’ he assured her. He would do anything and everything for her. He believed, hoped, that she knew that to be true. Risking his children, though, was something he couldn’t do.
‘Since when did getting drunk, once, for the first time in I don’t know how long, become a criminal offence?’ She stared at him, her expression somewhere between bemused and angry.
‘Spectacularly drunk,’ Mark reminded her, for want of a better word.
‘Yes, spectacularly!’ Mel’s voice rose. ‘And I’m sorry I embarrassed you. Sorry that, for whatever reason, I couldn’t handle it, but… Oh, for God’s sake, Mark. How many times am I supposed to apologise? I haven’t had so much as a sip of wine since.’
‘Right.’ Mark sighed, heavily. He hadn’t expected her to admit it, but he’d hoped she wouldn’t deny it outright.
‘What does that mean?’ Mel asked, her anger obviously escalating.
Mark ran a hand over his neck. ‘Nothing. I’m just concerned, Mel, that’s all.’
‘About me driving while taking medication?’
‘Obviously.’ Mark locked eyes with her. Mel’s gaze was fiery, her eyes slightly bloodshot. He studied her, noting her pupil reaction time seemed to be slowed, and steeled his resolve. ‘I don’t want you taking risks while—’
‘Driving under the influence of alcohol?’ Mel finished furiously.
‘Both of the above,’ Mark supplied disconsolately.
‘I don’t drink and drive!’ Mel snapped, her tone now aggressive. ‘I never have!’
Tugging in a terse breath, Mark squeezed the bridge of his nose hard with his thumb and forefinger.
‘Mark?’ Mel waited for him to answer, but he couldn’t say what he truly felt: that he couldn’t trust her, and it was killing him.
‘I don’t bloody believe this!’ Mel shoved her chair back and stormed into the kitchen. ‘Why don’t you bloody well breathalyse me and be done with?’
Berating himself on his abysmal handling of the situation, Mark hurried after her.
His heart dropped as he watched her banging around, opening cupboards. All of the fucking cupboards.
‘Take a look,’ she said. ‘Go on!’
‘Mel, don’t.’ He glanced towards Evie, who had been startled by the loud crashing of doors opening and shutting.
‘Don’t forget the fridge.’ Mel marched over to it, yanking that open too. ‘I mean, I’m bound to have a bottle chilling in there for…’ She stopped, staring hard at the contents, and then slammed the door shut. ‘Fuck!’
Mark bit back his own anger. He wasn’t sure where this was going, but wherever it was, it wasn’t happening in front of Evie.
‘Who turned the fridge off?’ Mel yelled, as he walked across to her.
Mark stopped, confused. ‘What?’
‘The fridge. It’s off at the wall!’ Mel waved a hand in the direction of the socket and then reached for the freezer door. ‘Shit,’ she muttered. ‘Shit, shit… shit!’
Oh Christ. ‘Mel…’ Hearing the sob in her throat, and realising immediately what was wrong, Mark started towards her. But he stopped as Jade came in, with Poppy, wide-eyed and wary, holding tight to her hand. She was holding a goldfish in her other hand, Mark noticed, his heart sinking further as he realised his little girl’s bubble was about to be rudely burst.
‘What’s happened? Mark? Mel?’ Obviously puzzled, Jade trailed off.
Mark held up a quieting hand. Then, seeing Jade had understood, he nodded towards Evie and then went over to Mel.
‘It’s ruined,’ she said, crying now in earnest. ‘All of it.’
Mark reached out, gently stroking her back, attempting to ease her towards him. He had no idea what else to do. He couldn’t fix this.
‘Why is Mummy crying?’ Poppy asked Jade in a worried whisper.
‘I think she has a headache,’ Jade answered quietly, moving towards Evie, who was now demonstrating her distress vocally.
Mark nodded his appreciation and tried to comfort Mel, but she was fighting him, pulling away from him. ‘Did you do it?’ she asked, swinging around to level an accusing gaze at Jade.
‘Do what?’ Jade looked confusedly from Mel to Mark. ‘I’m not sure, I…’
‘The freezer,’ Mark explained, feeling worn out already, to his very bones. ‘Someone’s switched it off.’
‘Not me.’ Jade looked alarmed. ‘At least I don’t think I—’
‘Well, someone did!’ Mel snapped, causing both Jade and Poppy to step back.
Glancing at Jade apologetically, Mark wrapped an arm around Mel’s shoulders. ‘It was an accident, Mel,’ he said softly, aware of how distraught she would be. Determined to breastfeed Evie, she’d expressed milk religiously every day, making sure the freezer was always stocked up.
‘It’s all ruined,’ Mel said again, her sobs stilling to a shudder as she heaved air into her lungs.
‘I’m so sorry, Mel.’ Mark tried to pull her closer, but Mel didn’t want to be held. Didn’t appear to want him near her. Her body language was stiff, her emotions all stuffed precariously inside. Like a watch spring, Mark felt, wound way too tight and ready to uncoil in an instant.
‘It’s okay.’ She drew in a shaky breath. ‘I was going to wean her anyway. I can’t feed her myself now, can I? That would really be putting my child at risk, wouldn’t it? You’ll be pleased to know I’m in possession enough of my faculties to have thought that one through, Mark.’
The medication. Mark squeezed his eyes closed. Dammit. It hadn’t even occurred to him, but it had to Mel. And she was devastated. She shrugged him off and walked away.
Mark hesitated for a second and then, hearing her climbing the stairs, he moved to go after her. He couldn’t leave her, not like this.
‘I’m sorry,’ Jade said tearfully, as he walked past. ‘I honestly don’t think I did switch it off, but if I did…’
Noting how crestfallen she looked, as if holding herself responsible, Mark stopped and placed a hand on her shoulder. ‘It was an accident,’ he repeated firmly. ‘Anyone could have inadvertently knocked the switch.’ Even Mel. In her present state, Mark had to concede that she might have done it herself.