His shoulders slumped with relief.
‘I knew it,’ he gathered me into his arms. ‘I knew you were special. I knew Mother was wrong.’ He pulled away and looked at me. ‘I didn’t sleep with anyone either. I was just having a laugh.’
A laugh? I nestled my head into his chest and swallowed back the tears that had sprung up in my eyes. It didn’t feel very funny to me.
Chapter 21
‘A musical?’ Brian raises an eyebrow. ‘I thought you hated musicals. Opera for stupid people you said.’
‘I did not! Those are your words. And I don’t hate musicals, I just prefer plays. Anyway this isn’t about me. It’s Jane’s birthday.’
‘And Eric’s got the flu? In May?’
I’m about to protest that there’s an unusual amount of it around at the moment and how Jane’s husband does work in a school where germs are rife, but there’s no need because Brian laughs and says, ‘Sounds like he’s throwing a sickie to me and who can blame him? I’d rather take to my deathbed than go to a musical too.’
‘Jane’s wanted to see the Billy Elliot musical forever,’ I say. ‘It’s one of her favourite films.’
‘There’s a DVD shop down the road, tell her. She can save herself thirty-odd quid a ticket or whatever rip-off prices they charge in the West End these days.’
‘Brian!’ I pretend to chastise him but I can tell by the smile on his face that he’s not going to object to me going to London. It’s incredible how easily he’s bought into my lie. I could be going anywhere, with anyone and I could go with his blessing.
‘Bit late though, isn’t it?’ he glances at the grandfather clock. ‘This show? It’s seven o’clock already and by the time you get to Victoria even if you leave now you won’t be there until eight-thirty at the earliest.’
‘I know,’ I say. ‘I was surprised too. We’re going to have to fly across London in a taxi to make it to the West End for nine o’clock. The show’s on later than normal because one of the cast is appearing on the Jonathan Ross chat show.’
It’s a terrible lie and one that anyone who watches even the smallest amount of television could uncover if they know the first thing about pre-recorded chat shows but, luckily for me, Brian rarely watches TV. Not only does he think it’s ‘brain rot’ but he resents how much non-sustainable electricity it eats up.
‘Right.’ He nods as though he’s bought every word then looks up as I stand up and smooth down my choice of outfit for this evening. It’s the most flattering cocktail dress I own.
‘Good job you got dressed up before I got in,’ he says, raising an eyebrow. ‘Anyone would think you were going to go out regardless of what I said.’
I wait for the smile to let me know he’s joking and, sure enough, it appears. I didn’t assume anything about this evening, not least that Brian would agree to me going but the last few days have passed without incident and I know he’s fond of Jane.
‘Of course it’s fine,’ he says. ‘You’ve been with Charlotte all day. The least you deserve is a bit of fun and a night out.’
‘You have taken your tablet today, haven’t you?’ he adds, glancing at the glass of water on the coffee table beside me.
‘Of course.’
‘And you’re feeling okay? You don’t think you’ll be overwhelmed by the crowded public transport and everything? You haven’t been to London for a while. It’s pretty frenetic these days.’
‘Brian!’ I laugh again. ‘I went to London a couple of months ago. It can’t have changed that much.’
‘True.’ He glances at the clock again. ‘Is Jane coming to get you or would you like me to give you a lift to the station?’
I pick up my handbag, fold my jacket over my arm and slip on my heels. ‘Thanks but the taxi should be here in a couple of minutes.’
Brian picks up his newspaper, shaking his head in amusement. ‘Have a lovely time.’
I cross the room, crouch down by his armchair and kiss him on the forehead. He looks at me in surprise, his blue eyes searching mine.
‘What was that for?’
‘Because I love you.’
The grandfather clock in the corner of the room tick-tick-ticks the seconds away as we look at each other. It feels like the first time we’ve really looked at each other in a very long time.
‘Even after everything that’s happened?’ he asks softly.
‘Despite it.’
He cups the side of my face with his hand and gently strokes my cheekbone with his thumb. ‘I don’t deserve you, Sue.’
I place my hand over his. ‘Yes, you do.’
I can see my reflection in his pupils as his eyes flick back and forth, just the tiniest bit as he gazes at me. I look tired and worried and a million years old. When did that happen? When did I become so old? When did he? Wasn’t it just yesterday that we were walking hand in hand along the banks of the Kifissos talking about the future we’d build together?
‘I love you too,’ Brian whispers. ‘I don’t know what I’d do without you. I couldn’t bear it if anything happened to you, Sue. I’d be lost. Quite, quite lost.’
My chest floods with warmth and I press a hand over my heart because it’s almost too much to bear. ‘I’m not going anywhere, Brian.’
‘And there was me thinking you were off to London!’ He laughs heartily. ‘Poor old Billy Elliot. I bet he was really looking forward to seeing you too. You’re such a fickle woman, Susan Jackson.’
I laugh too then cross the room and peer round one of the curtains. I’m pretty sure I just heard a taxi pulling into the driveway. Sure enough a flash of yellow approaches the house and there’s the parp-parp of a horn.
‘Don’t wait up!’ I call as I dash out of the living room. ‘I’ll be back late, don’t forget.’
‘Text me if you get into trouble.’