“But you could have been. Couldn’t you have? You had gained some weight. You were sick al the time, you felt pukey, you were tired and cranky.”
“I’m always that way! Plus I had my period.”
“How many times?” Sheila asked, straightening up.
“Twice,” I told her.
“Were they heavy or light?”
“Very light…but, that stil counts…”
Nurse Sheila brought out the chart from the bottom of the bed and started flipping through it. Her face was stil fairy Godmother-ish but was acting more authoritative.
“Unfortunately, your period is not always the best sign of not being pregnant. It’s rare, but in cases like yours, it does happen.”
Oh my God. My hand ripped out of Ada’s and flew to my mouth. How could I have been pregnant? My worst nightmare had actual y come true and I wasn’t even aware of it.
“So…I’m not pregnant anymore. Did you give me an abortion?”
Sheila put the chart back and gave me a dry look. “No, dear. We did not give you an abortion. You had a miscarriage. We had to make sure that it was removed safely and properly. That’s what we had to do; it wouldn’t have been safe for you otherwise.”
She looked between Ada and me and added, “It’s nothing to be ashamed of. It occurs more than you think, especial y first pregnancies and especial y when the mother isn’t looking after herself. But I assume the baby isn’t something you would have wanted.”
Wel , no, it wasn’t. Or wouldn’t have been. But it didn’t mean it wasn’t a shock to my body, my heart and my mind. I felt a mil ion things but the one that stood out the most was that I was very, very afraid.
As if catching a bit of that feeling, Sheila came over to me and patted my arm. “You’re with your family now. You’l be as right as rain. I’l go get your mother and the doctor, in case you have more questions. You have nothing to worry about.”
She left the room and walked out into the fluorescent lit hal way.
I looked at Ada. “What happened?”
“It’s like she said. Shay and Ash said they found you on the floor. You were total y passed out. They said…there was a whole bunch of blood around you.”
“Oh no,” I closed my eyes. How embarrassing this was, how bad it looked for the company.
“Perry, be happy you’re alive,” she admonished me.
“How could I have been pregnant?” I repeated, even though it was starting to make sense to me. It did explain a lot of what had been going on.
“I know,” she said. “I actual y thought it last night but I didn’t want to say anything in front of mom. She doesn’t know you slept with Dex. Wel , she didn’t know.”
“Oh, God.”
“Yeah, she obviously knows now. Dad too.w ba “Fuck.”
“I think they both want to kil him. Like, way more now than before.”
Surprisingly, I felt no hatred toward Dex about this. This was just as much my fault. We didn’t use a condom. The thought had crossed my mind but I decided to ignore it and deal with the consequences later. And here I was. While I probably wouldn’t have kept the baby, the end result was the same. I was left with a ravaged body and a guilty conscious.
“Perry, honey,” my mom said as she came inside the room. Her face was at maximum worry levels. However, as concerned as she looked, I picked up a tinge of frustration.
After it was established that I was going to be OK, I was going to be in big BIG trouble with her and dad.
“Hi mom,” I greeted her quietly. I suddenly felt extra embarrassed.