“You think Jenn’s not like that?” he asked. He said it in such a way that I had to glance at him. He looked like he was on the verge of laughing but there was real conflict behind his eyes. Pain, almost, like some brutal battle was going on inside. But the pain…it wasn’t related to Jenn. I knew that much.
“I’d like to think she’s a pretty decent girl,” I said. Truthfully, too.
A smirked tugged at his lips. “You know all those Anonymous comments you’ve been getting…”
My heart crackled in mid-thump. The air went out of me. I couldn’t find the words to follow up. I knew where this was going and it throttled me.
He continued, “It was Jenn. She’s been leaving them this whole time.”
I was stunned. Floored. I could only blink hard, as if that would help me process what he had just told me: The truth.
He clamped his mouth shut, perhaps a bit afraid of my reaction. I couldn’t blame him. I wasn’t sure what to get angry over first. And angry was putting it lightly. I wanted to explode.
I got to my feet quickly and walked down the length of the basement, not feeling the boxes and crates that I bumped into in the dim light. I sucked in my breath and let it out in a vigorous fashion, needing to keep my emotions in check.
“Are you sure? How do you know that?” I eked out, trying hard to keep my voice low and calm. I faced the wall, not wanting to look at him.
I heard him get up and take a few steps forward, his footsteps echoing coldly. He stopped some feet behind me. I could feel the hesitation rolling off of him. He was unsure whether to come forward. I waited for him to explain himself.
“Well?” I repeated, louder now.
“I caught her,” he mumbled. It made my blood boil beneath my cheeks. “Not in the act, but afterward. On the computer. I accidently hit the back button on the browser and it took me to one of her comments.”
“How long ago was this?”
“Since the beginning,” he answered, quiet and worried. “Maybe the second asinine comment you got. Then I checked into the IP addresses and they were all coming from my computer. I haven’t told her about it, yet.”
Holy shit. I closed my eyes and balled my hands up into tight little fists. There was so much wrong with all of this. I was furious toward Jenn, feeling like I had been duped by her stupid veneers and false sincerity, and I was even more furious that Dex knew all this time. All those times I was pouring my heart over the comments, about the way they made me feel. He knew and he didn’t tell me. No wonder he was so mad about them.
“Why the hell didn’t you tell me?” I tried to keep my voice at the same controlled level, but I failed. The last word croaked and rose above the rest.
I heard him come closer. He hovered behind me. He put his hand on my shoulder.
I whipped around at his touch and shrank back from him. “Don’t you fucking touch me!”
He didn’t listen. He reached out and grabbed my wrists, forcing my palms to uncurl. My fingernails had cut into my skin and stung at the open air.
He held me, his shadowy face looking tormented where the pale streetlights hit it.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“Let go of me!” I yelled. I wasn’t afraid of him, I just didn’t want him anywhere near me. I’d give him another broken nose, if that’s what it took.
“Fine, punch me!” he yelled back, knowing my thoughts. “But you have to listen to me first!”
“You’re a fucking liar!”
His grip tightened on my wrists. Not painful, but very firm. I could feel his arms shaking from the strain. He pulled me closer to him and I went, feeling that struggling would be useless.
“Put yourself in my shoes, Perry, please,” he pleaded. The torment on his face turned into something short of desperation. “She’s my girlfriend. You’re my partner. What was I supposed to do? Who was I supposed to protect?”
Me, I thought. You were supposed to protect me.
I closed my eyes, feeling stupid. Of course he was right. He had to choose one of us. It would be her. Why on earth would it ever be me?
His grasp on me loosened, perhaps at seeing my face in all its downtrodden glory. I took the opportunity to wrangle myself away from him and walked off toward the corner where the straightjackets and the zombie rat were. I preferred both of those hideous things to him.
“Baby…” he called out after me.
“Don’t you fucking call me that,” I shrieked, leaning against a cold pipe, staring absently at the dark shadows in the corner. “You don’t get to. Not after what you just said.”
“Why is this bothering you?” he asked. I felt him closer again. Was he just going to slowly follow me all over the basement? Like a mosquito that wouldn’t go away, no matter how many times you swatted at it?
I chuckled viciously. “Heaven forbid this should bother me.”
“Did you want me to tell you?” he asked quietly.
“What the hell do you think?”
“Did you think I owed it to you?”
His questions were strange. I didn’t know what he was getting at.
“I guess,” I admitted with a sigh. “I would have told you.”
“Why?”
“Because,” I turned around slowly to look at him. I could barely see him here, I could only make out his faint outline, which was tall and tense. “You’re…”
I couldn’t finish the sentence. I didn’t know how.
I swallowed hard and looked at the ground, trying to see the white rubber outline of my shoes in the dark.
“Perry,” he said carefully. His tone made me look up.
“What?”
He hesitated. The air between was heavy, laden with anticipation.
“Are you in love with me?”
My eyes widened until it felt like they might fall out.
“Excuse me?” I managed to say.
He walked up to me but his face still remained hidden in the shadows.
“Do you love me?”
Whether I could see him or not, the honesty, the, dare I say, vulnerability, in his words were apparent. He was serious.
And suddenly I saw my life branching into two separate paths, depending on what my answer was. I could play it safe and lie. Protect my heart and protect my pride. Protect my relationship with him and the future of us working together.
Or I could be honest. I could finally admit to him how I really felt. Tell him and hope for the best. For the small chance that he happened to feel the same. Or for the larger chance that he didn’t. I’d be humiliated and hurt. But I would do what Uncle Al wanted for me. For that giant knife to go into my heart, bleed myself dry. And get over it.
“Perry,” he repeated. “Do you love me?”
I sucked in my breath, wishing I could see him better. Wishing he could see I was looking him right in the eyes.
“No,” I told him, my voice calm and steady. “I don’t.”
It was the biggest lie I had ever told.
His shoulders deflated an inch.
“Oh,” he said simply. Was that disappointment I heard? Or is that just what I wanted to hear.
“Why?” I asked. I found myself taking a step closer to him. I peered up at his dark face. “Do you want me to?”
I could tell he smiled.
“Well, kiddo…what man wouldn’t want that?”
My heart melted, swirling in thick confusion. Was he serious? I couldn’t tell without looking at him. I fished out my phone from my pocket and turned the light on.
I shone it at his face.
I barely had time to read it. A shimmer rippled through the air, like a wave of heat.
Abby’s disfigured, broken head was right behind him, those eye sockets of grey goo peering at us over his shoulder.
A scream escaped my lips and I dropped the phone as I turned to run. I didn’t know where to run, though, and I was quickly met with pipes and boxes that brought me to the ground in a heap. I heard Dex scream too, a terrible inhuman sound, and I struggled to my feet. I crashed through the basement until I was in the light of the main hall and ran toward the door.
Then I stopped myself in the middle of the room and looked for Dex to be right behind me like he usually was.
But he wasn’t there. I was alone.