I looked at Dex. He tightened his grip on my shoulders and led me over to their white couch.
“Dex, not if she’s bleeding!” Jenn cried out, afraid for her upholstery.
He shot her a sharp look. “She said she’s not, so she’s not. Go get her some water.”
She jumped a bit at his brusque tone but hurried off to the kitchen, frowning as she went and careful to avoid the bloody spots.
He placed me on the couch and sat beside me, his body positioned towards mine. He took both of my hands in his and looked me straight in the eyes.
“Tell me what happened, from the beginning.”
I did, very conscious of how it sounded in front of Jenn. To her credit, she didn’t say anything during this bizarre conversation, just brought over the cup of water and perched her tiny butt on the edge of an armchair.
“And you didn’t recognize the ghost?” he asked when I was done.
I stifled a chuckle. “Recognize? No.”
“I meant the person before they died. The normal parts of her. They didn’t look familiar to you?”
“No.”
I looked down at my hands, which were still enveloped in his firm grasp. I could feel from the occasional twitch that if he let go, my fingers would be shaking uncontrollably. He felt it too.
“This is ridiculous,” Jenn said. Dex and I both looked at her. We knew it was ridiculous, but it had happened. After what had happened on the island, I knew better than to doubt myself anymore.
“It’s the truth, though,” I said quietly.
“Sure. The truth in your mind,” she said, getting up. She stretched as if it was all boring her, her gray camisole lifting up, which displayed her richly hued, flat stomach.
“Explain the blood then,” Dex said defensively, gesturing at it.
Jenn shrugged. “Could be a bunch of things. And none of them say ‘ghost.’ All I know is that I need to clean this mess up before it stains the floor.”
She walked over to a utility closet and brought out cleaning supplies. I watched Dex watching her. He seemed livid, but with an eerie, contained kind of anger. It made his eyes sparkle and fade, his jaw twitch back and forth. Finally he looked away and up at me. Now he just looked sympathetic, maybe even apologetic. It’s just us against the world, his gaze seemed to say.
Soon after Jenn had finished cleaning and went back to sleep, Dex came with me into my room to say goodnight.
“Are you tucking me in?” I asked wryly as he flicked on the light and shut the door behind us.
He smiled shyly. “I just want to make sure you’re all right.”
Well, I wasn’t all right. I never was “all right.”
I walked over to the bed and got in, pulling the covers around me. Dex followed and sat on the end of it.
“I’d stay with you here if I could,” he said, looking around him at his stuff on the walls, absently stroking the bedcover.
“That’s OK,” I said even though I never wanted anything more. I had the urge to lean over, grab him by the edge of his plaid pajama pants and pull him on top of me. His body in my hands would make the fear go away. I wanted to tug at his shaggy black hair, suck on his bottom lip. I wanted to run my fingers over the tattoo on his chest, “And with madness comes the light” and feel the madness inside of me until it consumed both of us.
I closed my eyes at the thought. I had to stop thinking this way. When did I turn into such a horny teenager?
After a period of silence he asked, “Are you having any dreams?” He approached the question softly, like he was treading on eggshells.
“Yes.” I carefully opened my eyes, afraid that I might see that girl again, but it was still Dex. His elbows were propped up on his thighs and he was holding his head in his hands, looking like he was falling asleep. It was 4 a.m. after all.
“But they aren’t nightmares. They are just dreams. Weird…flashbacks. Like I’m reliving the past.”
“What past?”
“High school.”
“When you were a shoplifting, coke-snorting badass?” he asked, now sounding amused.
I paused. “Yes, those were the days.”
“And nothing else?”
“No…”
He looked up and twisted his body to face mine.
“Are you sure?”
My brows furrowed. “Yes, I’m sure.”
I pulled up the covers even further around me and asked, “What about you? Do you ever have any dreams?”
“Yeah.” He smirked. “I’m all alone and I’m rolling this big donut…”
“I’m serious,” I said, though I obviously smiled.
“Then no. I don’t have those kinds of dreams,” he said. He got up and shivered against the chill that was creeping up in the room. That coldest part of the night before dawn.
“I really don’t want to leave you.” He walked over to me and stopped, peering down. He put out his hand for mine and I grabbed it, giving it a quick shake.
“I’ll be OK,” I said, more forcefully. He nodded then cried out softly, “Hey what if Fat Rabbit sleeps with you? He snores and farts a lot but he’s solid company.”
“Takes after his dad, I take it?” I joked. “Actually I’d love it if the dog stayed here.”
Within a few minutes, the lights in the room were off, I was snug under the covers, and Fat Rabbit was happily wheezing away at the foot of my bed. I counted down to the cadence of his breath until I fell asleep too.