‘Lyn, I am so sorry. I thought we’d talked it through. I had no idea you still felt like that.’
‘No. You have no idea about a lot of things.’ The resentment in the voice was unabated. ‘You live in your own happy little world, Joss, and see nothing of what is going on around you. That’s always been your trouble and now it’s ten times worse. I don’t know what this bloody house has done to you, but it is not good.’
‘Look I’ll come back straight away – ’
‘Don’t bother. Luke is going to drive me to the station. And now I’ve got to go and get Tom’s lunch. You’d better see you’re back in time for his tea because Luke is going to be in charge all afternoon!’
Joss sat staring at the receiver in her hand for several minutes after Lyn had banged down the phone. Lyn was right. She had been so involved with the house and the book she had not noticed that Lyn was unhappy and restless again. She did take Lyn for granted. Lyn would look after things. She always had.
Wearily she stood up and made her way towards the kitchen. It was a small room, warm and cheerful, full of flowers and scarlet French cooking pans, decorated with Proven?al pottery. It made the kitchen at Belheddon look very dark and Edwardian in contrast. She took the chair that Edgar Gower proffered and sat down heavily, her elbows on the small littered kitchen table.
‘My sister is furious. I pinched her car without asking.’ She tried to make it sound like a joke, but her exhaustion and worry were beginning to wear her down. ‘It sounds as though she’s had enough of us.’
Dot sat down opposite her. ‘Come here to stay, Joss. Bring your little boy. I would love to look after him. It would be no trouble. It would give your sister a rest and I am sure your husband wouldn’t mind being on his own if he has a business to run. Ask Edgar. I am a sucker for children and our grandchildren live so far away I can only indulge myself once a year. You would be doing me a kindness.’ She reached across the table and took Joss’s hand. ‘Stop trying to take it all on your own shoulders, Joss. Let other people help.’
Joss rubbed her hands up and down her cheeks wearily. ‘I feel tempted. It would be nice to get away – just for a few days.’
She meant it, she realised, suddenly. No more listening for children’s voices. No more glances over her shoulder into the dark shadows of her bedroom. No more stomach turning fear each time Tom awoke screaming from a nightmare.
‘Good. Then that’s settled.’ Pushing back her chair, Dot stood up. ‘Go home this afternoon and pack up some things, put Tom in your own car this time, and bring him to us. This afternoon I shall get the rooms ready. We have a couple of lovely spare rooms in the attic. A bit of a climb, I’m afraid –’ she paused, eyeing Joss’s figure. ‘If it’s too much then Edgar and I will move up there and you can have our room. The trouble with this house is it’s tall and thin. Everything on top of each other.’ She beamed happily. ‘Now, let me make us a salad and we can all get on.’
The salad was delicious with home-made dressing, whitebait, fresh from the beach and home-made bread, followed by strawberries and cream. At the end of the meal Joss felt calmer, and it was with something like optimism that she walked back to the car, with borrowed money in her pocket for petrol, amid promises to return with Tom the next morning.
Tom and Luke were in the kitchen when she arrived home. Tom was filthy – still covered, obviously, in his lunch, together with a great deal of black motor oil. Luke’s mood was as black as his son’s hands and face.
‘Were you out of your mind, taking Lyn’s car like that? Couldn’t you have left a note? Anything? That woman has given me complete hell, thanks to you, and it wouldn’t surprise me at all if she didn’t come back. Then where will we be?’
‘Don’t be silly, Luke.’ Extricating herself from Tom’s ecstatic welcome at seeing his mummy again, Joss was reluctant to abandon her good mood. She went to the sink and squeezed out a sponge. Kneeling down she began to wash the little boy energetically. ‘Of course she’ll come back. I’m sorry I upset her, I really am. She was only miffed with me because she had an arrangement this afternoon. But there was no need for her to behave like that. I know Lyn. She’ll be terribly sorry once she’s cooled down. You’ll see.’ She sat Tom down and gave him one of his books. ‘Lyn has a self-esteem problem. If she doesn’t think people are acknowledging her full worth she gets really shirty. But it doesn’t last. I shall grovel all over the place when she comes back. And,’ she hesitated. ‘Luke, I’ve arranged to go away for a few days with Tom. That will give her a break. And you.’
‘You’ve arranged to go away for a few days!’ Luke echoed. He was standing hands on hips watching her. ‘You have arranged to go away for a few days! And were you going to tell me about this or is this a spontaneous decision too?’
‘Don’t be silly.’ She didn’t look up. ‘I am telling you now. I went to see the Gowers in Aldeburgh and they have suggested that I go and stay with them for a few days to give everyone here a rest. Dot says she will look after Tom. She loves children.’
‘I see. And who exactly are these people?’
‘The Gowers. You remember. It was Edgar Gower who gave me John Cornish’s address right at the beginning. He was my parents’ rector here.’